me

omg how cute what are they???

#i dont have the heart to tell them the truth

oMFG

(◎♊◉✿)

They’re -large train drives by-

….. I’m upset.

What are they?

Oh child, they’re -parade passes by-

They look cool, I want one

Oh god they’re -airplane flies over-

Oh hey ********************************

JESUS CHRIST CAN’T YOU TELL THEY’RE–oh, oh wait a minute, hold on. Phone’s ringing. Yeah? What’s up? No, I was just about to tell these guys about the–yeah I know, but I was telling these people that the picture is of–ooh, for dinner? Hmm, maybe. Okay, see you then. …What was I saying?

Well, see, what they are is – *thunderous noises from construction project nearby*

They’re Dildos

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

THE HEARTBREAKING DIFFERENCES IN THE WORDS TOO THOUGH

@blueowljewels