He didn’t understand it at first until he watched Steve going on failed dates after failed dates, or watching a short relationship end in a terrible break-up and Steve moping around.

Eddie didn’t want to count how many times he’s seen Steve’s heart break.

So now he’s on a mission: keep Steve from dating.

He’s ruining every opportunity Steve gets for dates, making plans with him almost every weekend and after a while, Steve stops asking girls out and Eddie feels accomplished.

At least, he did until Steve kissed him goodbye after movie night and now Eddie’s so fucking confused.

Good morning ☀️

The window is down, the air is fresh, and the wind is blowing through his dirty blood-tacky hair and, you know what?

“This is better than the last time I got kidnapped.”

“For the last time,” Eddie says behind the wheel of his van. “You’re not kidnapped. You got on my van. No one asked you to be here.”

“Okay.”

“What do you mean last time?” Gareth asked, poking his head up from the back. “When were you last kidnapped?”

Steve stares blankly ahead either not hearing or not caring to answer the question. Eventually, he asks, “Are you taking me to your lair?”

He has accepted that it makes him a bad person if he pulls up outside the emergency room and pushes Steve out of his van, but that’s what he wants to do.

Unfortunately, his friends are better people.

They want to stick around to make sure Harrington doesn’t croak so…Eddie drops them off. He parks the van.

He’s sitting in the driver’s seat, head resting against the wheel, giving himself a minute when - “Whoa, too loud.”

Eddie’s scream dies on his lips and he watches in disbelief as Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington melts his sailor suit aas back into the passenger seat of his van. Again. For the second time tonight.

“What the f-“

“Can’t be in there.”

Despite the fact that his heart is jackrabbiting in his chest, Eddie is incredibly calm when he asks, “Why not?”

“Cause,” Steve slurs, eyes looking everywhere without seeing anything. “Bone saw.”

“Bone what?”

“I don’t want ‘em to rip of n’more of m’fingernails.”

Eddie frowns.