tina loves hurts

We’ve got a new religion - Faith. 

Just look at the cover. 

Don’t say you don’t get any of the songs. 

‘Cause here they are, looking straight into your eyes.

Hello everybody, it’s been a while. Love being traditional so yes, I’m definitely going to say a few words about Faith. Seems like nowadays all Hurts fans’ lives are on Telegram or Instagram but I kinda still like this little world here. As some of you might remember I do listen to their albums literally blindfolded and as always I’ve counted the waiting days - 1071. The longest and the most frightened waiting is over but the new one is on or not?

Oh, Gosh I’m literally shaking. I’ll definitely say my feelings about every song but a bit later.

As for now just let me say a few important things. This album is quite special for me. It killed me from the first listen. Every word of each and every song on it reflects my inner world. Like Adam said I always perceived music as a gateway into discovering my feelings, it’s a lingering journey of knowing myself. This album is not an escape, it’s a story of facing yourself. It took me a while to talk about it, ‘cause after encontless listening I plunged into deep thoughts. Well, it seems like we are all originally from our childhood. And if we weren’t accepted and loved the way we needed here we are, adults with the eyes of a kid. We can be implemented in the profession but we still will be chasing wrong people in search of unconditional love. The truth is we won’t be loved by anybody until we’ll be in peace with ourselves, until we won’t feel the luck of anything. Remember Theo’s role in “A little something for your Birthday”? Lovely idea of a film, don’t you think so? So the only way to cope with all our wounds is discovering and understanding our true nature. Listening and dealing with emotions we all have instead of scrolling them. That’s it, sounds quite simple but it’s the hardest work ever. We used to run away from ourselves but the real growth is only in being who you are.

To be fair, looking back to when I began being a Hurts fan I never thought that one day we’ll be on the same page. But now I see that we were always there. From Happiness to Faith they did a soundtrack of my inner search. Search for acceptance of myself. They become one of my Voices who’s always there for me when I feel the most low. Ironically I’ve never been the one who’s listening to the songs they like until getting sick of it. Hurts’ songs are pouring in me and then living in me like a part of my body or something. I’m living them.

Do you remember Ben’s filming during Desire tour? I witnessed a few interviews myself. It was quite interesting. But the thing is he never asked why do all these people do what they do? I can only say for myself. I’m spreading Hurts ideas, way of thinking, music at least not last because of a gratitude for everything they made me go through. I found myself in helping people to learn them. To understand what’s going on around the music they do. Because Hurts music you know has always been so much more than music. I kinda feel like a Hurts’ voice. Through this years I can’t tell you how many interviews I’ve translated, I personally heard and read them all. And it might be one of the reasons why I’m still here, writing this review. Knowing that my translations have been read by thousands of people and if only one person out of them gets what Hurts really meant is making me the happiest person ever.

The last year for me personally has been the hardest one. I think that for those one who’ll be reading my opinion on the songs it’s important to know that one of the reasons above thousands others for such a rating mark is because my heart was broken for the first time in ten years. I’ve let myself fall in love but it just didn’t work. I might be fractured or crucified but here I am the way I am. And it is ok. 

Uh, it’s been a hard few paragraphs. Coming back to the review. I feel like I should start with the promo stuff. I was watching it with interest but got no power to join. Maybe it’s because being a part of a Hurts path for 11 years in a row on a daily basis (if only I was 10 years younger *winking), maybe ‘cause of some personal struggling. When you’re becoming older you don’t need the preparation for the dark album you’ve already living like this. To be fair, I tried a few puzzles in the start, spending 8 or 10 hours on them and buried the idea ‘cause felt like a hero from the “Lost in Translation”.

Listeners will always be arguing about new music. Eternal discussion about being a true fan and loving and accepting all songs equally or being picky and liking only a few will always appear with every new era. For me love is only true if you’ve got an open heart and your mind is free of expectations.

But I’m here to talk about music, so that’s it.

“Voices” – a contrast shower. When guys released promo, with the lyrics, I was in a deep mess, bursting into tears, with those two videos only. I didn’t need any other interview about the album or something, I’ve read them all and the whole puzzle came into a place through the words of the song. Through the meaning of the lyrics. It’s bold, sincere, personal, intimate. That’s what Hurts music is about. Always. With the sound - it’s a step forward. Love the vocal part (it’s so disarming), what a broken drum line (my personal crush) and what about an anthemic plum? The song is so unexpected but it felt so right and once again thanks to the microwave. It saved so many souls. And again I know how sometimes those voices can abuse, pursue, bother. How for example they can reflect your parents’ installations displaced your own voice. Equally I know how almost the same voices like Hurts songs can make you feel better. Can make you feel heard, adopted, dear how they can comfort you and sympathize. That’s what true music can do for us. Becoming that person from a Darkest Hour. Guys, thank you.

“Suffer” – a slap in the face. Looking in the mirror straight into your own eyes and confessing the addiction. Love how the detached vocal contrasting aggressive mood of the sound. It’s that stage of the relationship when you understand it’s inner reasons. When you face how curved your true nature is because of your addiction. And that can totally make you realise that you became a slave to your own emotions. Seeing this gave you the reins of government  back. You can still be in a relationship but for now they dissolve you with acid. And the more you’re being tactile touched the more lonely and fey you become. Don’t think I should mention how painful this experience might be. And I love how prickly the cofemashine part is sounding, how it’s cyclicality reflects the whirl of thoughts. The cards revealed. You realised that you’ve been hiding in a fake little world but you still want to be there because you don’t know how to act differently. Virus detected but the whole system is paralysed.

“Fractured” – an opened wound. Here we go, you still looking into your own eyes but now poison penetrates your insides. At that stage you start hating yourself. You’re your only foe now. You can’t cope with any tactile contact any more otherwise it might kill you. With the words “I might be everything that is wrong for you” rang out the unsightly truth that she is that viper warmed on the chest. But at that stage you reflect everything on yourself ‘cause it was you who chose her to be your lover. So in a way it’s fair enough. And that’s why you are a complete mess now. Confess, I squealed listening to it for the first time. And I’m still frozen with every whispered word and how harsh melody before the broken serene vocal line of an ending almost licks my neck a way straight up to my earlobe. ASMR isn’t it?

“Slave To Your Love” – the beginning. Here we go, that’s how the story of an abusive relationship started. You fall in love but it’s not the same for the object of your love. Maybe she’s not ready to admit to herself that you are not the one. Because of lots of different reasons it’s even not important you’ll never know them anyway. It’s quite often she doesn’t understand it herself. But the thing you can do is ask: Why am I doing this to myself? Why do I choose those who don’t see me? I mean you think you can’t do it while you are in love but that’s not true. Even being drowned by a wave of feelings we still keep hearing our inner voices. That admitting, warning us but we used to skip them through good or tough times being in love is not an exception. The reason for abuse is never in the person we choose, it’s always in us. The sound in the chorus with the phrase “I’m a slave to love” feels like the ringing of bells of that little inner voice it’s calling for your attention. You’re a slave. And the music soundtracks it perfectly, you’re running and jumping from a cliff to nowhere. The final whirlpool of the melody is like a hurricane funnel that swallows you.

“All I Had To Give” – a confession. This is it. Can we skip this song, please? No, not this time. Now - is the time to face it. For me, this song might be the hardest to listen to ever. The same reaction I had listening to Unspoken. But this one says everything that was silent before. I can’t even try to imagine how it feels to share such sincerity with the song. Listening to it for the first time I petrified, lost the control of my emotions and bursted into tears. I had to stop listening to the album. It took me quite a while to decide to continue. I can still hardly restrain my emotions each time I dare to listen to it. I can try to express my sensible feelings while listening to it by drawing a film scene. Imagine an empty highway in the middle of the desert. You’re standing all alone and the silence that surrounds you and it’s almost tangible, peaceful isn’t it? But in a second without having time to blink you’ve been hit by a car and as soon as it appeared it disappeared with a sound like the bee buzzing or something. And here you are - a crippled lonely body lying on a highway in the middle of nowhere. Impressive isn’t it? Yes I’m in awe of what this song does to me. Yes, that’s how I open myself up - admitting that I never do. Am I suffering the consequences of it? Sometimes. Because I don’t like it but it’s the wrong direction in relationship with yourself. Oh, the musical frame of this picture is something special. Isn’t it a true miracle that somebody knows exactly how to express your feelings with a song. And lucky Theo.

“Liar” – a thriller. What a brave expose, amazing. Such a vivid picture. Can you see those lying eyes? Oh, feeling being scanned. But I’m on the other side. I know that feeling of being deceived. The sound with the first Liar in the chorus made me terrified, indescribably incredible. Caught at the crime scene. As if this word set fire to the leaf and before the eyes of the observer it just became an ashes. And everything that was important and dared became rubish. Personal Hiroshima in one word. So simple and yet so heavy. Like all the weight of the world rushed onto your shoulders. Saying this one word made you a grain of sand. You don’t seem to exist anymore. Everything depreciated. And I love the buzzing sound of the second verse. It’s like a kaleidoscope of memories turning to dust. And the ending of the song - that final scream “Liar” it’s like a circle crying in your head when you’ve already left alone.

“Somebody” – an anger kick. Well, now the liar has a word to say. But thankfully you get the strength to close the door behind yourself instead of just realizing that you’ve been cheated. This is no longer a protest, but a riot. The time when arguments no longer exist. Your anger is a gunpowder and all previous behaviour was a flame path and now all your powder kegs are exploding inside forcing you to act. To shut her lying mouth up. It’s enough. This blast blows you away with its wave and the present becomes the past. You’re still in the heat of passion but to stay is not an option any more. The shackles fell down. Your words about somebody are more like a precept now. But also a prick to the deceiver, you admit the existence of someone else next to you. She’s no longer the one for you. And what a lovely dubstep sound in the final chorus. Those guitar riffs in the end are so sharp. I love the whole dynamic from the introduction through the verse to the chorus. An emotional storm from the beginning till the end. The whole song itself is like an interrupted inhalation on 0:38.

“Numb”  – a psychological coma. Have you ever been mentally paralysed the way deep so you can’t actually move? Oh, how clever the album is composed. Being myself stuck between “Somebody” and “Numb” nowadays I can’t even explain how I’m amazed by the story they told through Faith. 2:15 and what a scream I can only wish I could’ve cried it all out, thanks for the music that does it for me. How lovely starts the last chorus, beautiful vertigo, feels like a stranglehold on the neck limits the intake of air into the lungs. You escaped from prison, but you have not yet freed yourself in your mind. Inside you are still a prisoner, barely breathing. It’s a terrible time of withdrawal symptoms for the past life ‘cause it’s the same way as a drug addict. Poker face inside out. The fish is lying on the floor and moving no more. Just reflexively swallows air. Everything around has become mechanical, you are a biorobot. And the marching rhythm of the whole song confirms this. you’re just trying to keep running on autopilot.

“Redemption”  – a repentance. The reassessment of the values ​​of those who returned from the war. After all you’ve been through here you are accepting the consequences of your own choices. The only thing that’s left is hope. Hope that not all is lost and the ship, although with a hole, does not go to the bottom. After all, ships do not sink in water, they sink only when the water is inside them. Even standing on the bridge across the Severn, the biggest challenge is still to accept yourself with all your mistakes, regrets, wounds, scars and demons. You can’t change your past acts or inactions. The only person who’s really judging you is you. And the only way to find peace is to forgive yourself for not listening to your own inner voices or listening to the wrong ones, imposed by society or any other external frameworks. Everything that happens with us is solely our will. Facing it all can be hard sometimes. Should we talk about music in the song? I don’t know how. The melody and the lyrics were made for each other despite the fact that they were written at different times and under the influence of different circumstances. And what an epic final part with strings and horns it made the song something more than a song as if personifying the fall of an angel from heaven. When the ground is slipping off under your feet as a boomerang of your actions returns to the sender by making a circle.

“White Horses” – a dizzying allegory or a black sheep. A real outstander of the album. Cinematique lyrics continue to roll the gallop of white horses along the edge of the sea wave. But looking at their developing manes and contracting muscles in the rays of the setting sun as if in slow motion, in my thoughts it’s not running horses at all. Is your breathing quickening too? Bet you flashing your own private moments. During the first time I listened to it, I really got dizzy. The song spun me off the reality. Never had such an experience myself so it’s hard for me to see Madeline. But I’m ok with it ‘cause from the outside it seems quite brave. I guess I sympathize with her. It might be a nightmare, in reality, exchanging real intimacy for stones. Isn’t it that poison that fills up the void? Anyway, I am in awe of the music that took me on the carousel of my beautiful but painful memories. I liked the wind that disheveled my hair during the trip. He is the only one besides music and water allowed to touch me.

“Darkest Hour” – a keystone. That what Hurts music has always been for me. That exact moment I heard the chorus for the first time I thought how much it means to me. It got me in an emotional mess. I cried. Bitterly. Hurts music is my beacon, and as long as I can experience moments like this I live. Feeling the fullness of life with every cell of my body and soul. That song gives me goosebumps and tears with each listening. Maybe, like the guys said, it’s a moment of hope but it feels like an escape for me. Might be for the first time in this album. We don’t look into our reflections, but we look into each other’s eyes. And it’s the best feeling ever, even if it all happens in my mind only. It just doesn’t matter as long as I can feel it it’s real. It reminded me of a hug we shared with Theo after a pre-listening to the Desire three years ago. (read more here) That was so unexpected but yet so right and I feel like every first listening of a new album should end with a reciprocal embrace of the musicians in gratitude for everything that their music has brought into your life. Because with every sung word I feel like I’ve been warmed up and cuddled tighter and tighter. So in the end I can barely breathe. What an epic crescendo with a guitar solo in the end. The quintessence of Theos’ words embodied in music, raising you above all that is mortal. Thank you.

And now I ask especially sensitive natures not to read further. Because further I will write something that cannot be accepted by any heart that belongs to Hurts. 

“What if” has a strong meaning. Whatever you’ll place after could change the whole mood or meaning. So I’m terrified, almost shaking but writing ‘cause I’d never in ages could’ve said it out loud. What if… Taking a deep breath. What if Faith is the final Hurts album. Don’t ask why and don’t try to kill me. It’s murdering enough to even think, not write.

If so, then Faith is a perfect illustration/description of how Hurts fan gonna feel himself when he’ll know that this is the end. If so, then it’s understandable why they tried to kill us with puzzles. They not only wanted to get us to the place where we’ll feel sick and confused but wanted to show us how they have lived for the last few years. How does their profession make them feel. How easy you can come close to insanity. How they pushed themselves to the limit and what happened after. They’re burned down. That’s what they’re telling us with the video for Redemption. And here they are on their knees, burning and at the last moment raising their hands into the skies and this is Faith by Hurts. That is it. In a prayer even the last moment they still physically want to have faith. They want to have hope, but it’s burned and Faith is the only thing that’s left. Do you see why the cover of Voices is torn? And all this confessions on Spotify. 

I feel so sorry and lost writing about it and I hope it’s just my own crazy stupid fantasies caused by the bad times on personal fronts. Maybe I should say a few words about myself so you might understand what’s going inside me right now and why I decided to share this without you. I’m following Hurts advice to share, face the demons and try to get out of the place you’re in. Well, let’s talk a bit. I’m sure you feel confused too but let’s go for an imaginary walk. Maybe together it’s not that scary. And that is another reason why they created the Telegram Channel. Coincidences? Nah, I don’t think so. 

It’s fashionable now to say: “I’ve been with Hurts all their path through.” But for me it’s fair enough but not really. They’d hit me in 2010 with Bizz Session for The Sun covering Kylie. I was 22 and searched for a handsome man because I felt a lack of beauty around me. That was my crazy guilty pleasure, watching some commercials with male models. You might be laughing, but the description of the video said: “I could sell my soul to the devil for a man like him”. I was intrigued and played it. I knew Kylie’s song but the way Hurts did it was something special. Absolutely insane it still gives me goosebumps rewatching it. Never in ages I would ever believed that the video could change my life but it did. 

The first Moscow show took place in a 25 minutes walk from my house and I got there 8 hours before the start. Didn’t have a ticket ‘cause the show was sold out but I thought that I should be there anyway. Maybe I still got a chance to see them. I was standing surrounded by dozens of girls with drawings and photographs for autographs. I saw Paul and Richard taking pictures with the fans. I watched all this from the side. I had a CD in my bag, a collection of Russian music that I recorded for the guys specially. I didn’t give it to Paul or Richard. I don’t know why. Maybe I was dumbfounded by the agility of the surrounding girls, throwing themselves on the musicians’ necks. In general, I stood at the club until the evening, when one guy came up to me offering to buy a ticket which I did and get inside. I was frozen to the bone by that time because outside there was no more than 8 degrees Celsius. I remember standing in the lobby and talking to the girls from the queue, I said that I regretted not giving the disc. And at that moment I saw Richard coming down the stairs to meet me. I called out to him, he burst into a wide smile, grabbed me into his bear hug and agreed to give my gift to the guys. It all seemed kinda crazy. I was twitching nervously at the entrance to the hall, choking on cigarette smoke. And when the doors finally opened, a frantic wave carried me inside. The minutes of waiting dragged on painfully long. The musicians followed each other and the moment Hurts finally came out, changed everything. ‘Unspoken’ opened the set list of the concert and the door into my heart. That was it, my story was told, like you know in Fugees’ song: 

“…I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style And so I came to see him, to listen for a while And there he was, this young boy, a stranger to my eyes Strumming my pain with his fingers Singing my life with his words Killing me softly with his song Killing me softly with his song Telling my whole life with his words Killing me softly with his song I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd I felt he’d found my letters and read each one out loud I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on…”

And from that exact moment I kept an eye on them. I wanted to be a part of the Hurts’ world ‘cause they in a strange and completely incomprehensible way to me were already a part of my own path. Since then my day to day life includes Hurts. News, interviews, photographs, posts, translations and everything imaginable and unimaginable stuff around. But not as an addiction that blinded me but as a conscious choice.The choice of a person who’s been understood, heard and accepted by two strangers. No matter how strange it may seem. Their music recognized me. This is my heartbeat. This is who I am.

And that is why my heart skipped a bit while I was watching the video for “All I Have To Give” and couldn’t move for two hours after. I literally sat in front of the monitor for two hours in a row in complete disbelief. How did it happen that they spent themselves so recklessly. Why did we let ourselves treat them in such a way that they burned out. Yes, you can say that we are not guilty. But I think that in addition to the choice that the guys made  themselves, there is also a share of our participation in this. This brings to mind the nasty things that Adam casually mentioned in his latest q&a on his Instagram live stream. I’m screaming Billie Eilish lyrics here:

“As long as I’m here No one can hurt you Don’t wanna lie here But you can learn to If I could change The way that you see yourself You wouldn’t wonder why you here They don’t deserve you” 

Unfortunately, not all fans understand the consequences of their actions. But as long as I can’t influence the actions of others I don’t wanna talk about it no matter how much it upsets me. Of course, you can argue with me and say that they knew what they were doing, choosing the life of an artist. And there is a grain of justice in this, as well as in the fact that when you compose music in the bedroom you have no idea what the consequences of popularity might be. Not all musicians write music about themselves, about their experiences, troubles and pain. Not everyone is ready to speak directly and openly about themselves, looking into the eyes of their listeners. Hurts music is always like that. This is her true nature. Even if the creators are eager to escape from themselves, the music reveals everything. Because these are not just new songs, this is a whole life. Life that is hidden at the fingertips of Theo and Adam while they write songs. They are not entertainers, they are two humans. Two personalities that have a chemistry to help each other to open up and be realized in music. A precious gift that they both carry in this world. Every time I think about it, I sink into awe.

That is what it’s all about. That is what it means to be a real musician. That’s what it means to be human, accepted, understood and loved. Understanding and appreciating such a support, such a connection, we keep a grain of truth in our hearts. And I immensely value every new day I have lived, the day when there are two wonderful people in my life, Theo and Adam. Thank you for everything!

We do not know what the future holds for us, we do not know what will happen in a minute. But knowing that somewhere there are two people you don’t know but who are able to feel the same as you, it gives life a taste. If you need time to recover, find new yourself, embrace the life you have chosen or embark on new adventures, you can manage your time as you see fit. Just know that your magical ability to write music is a gift you seem to have come into this world to share. And your listeners don’t take your albums for granted. Each time - these are moments of absolute inexplicable and all-embracing happiness and joy, both for you and for myself, that I’ve managed to hear, share and experience a true miracle. And can tell the world about it, as I just did. Thank you!

I don’t think any of you got here. Don’t think you’ve read it all but if you did thank you for your time I really appreciate your attention. I hope some of my words resonated in your soul. 

I’ve got  my own odd tradition to say personal Hurts oath after a new release. Now I can repeat it for the fourth time: ‘To be your faithful fan in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to respect you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and inspire you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you from this day forward until the day when your sixth album will be released. Hutcherson.’

P.S.:

Princess Catharina-Amalia's Tiara Appearances:

The Star Button Tiara: Princess Ingrid Alexandra of Norway's 18th Birthday Gala (Jun 2022)

The Ruby Peacock Tiara: Crown Prince Hussein of Jordan’s Wedding (Jun 2023)

“I think Amalia is wearing the same Max Mara dress as Scarlett Sirgue, but the pleats on Amalia’s dress looks more defined and nicer. That dress is so ugly and so overpriced (it’s like 600+ euros) and ages both of them.” - Submitted by Anonymous

We’ve got a new religion - Faith. 

Just look at the cover. 

Don’t say you don’t get any of the songs. 

‘Cause here they are, looking straight into your eyes.

Hello everybody, it’s been a while. Love being traditional so yes, I’m definitely going to say a few words about Faith. Seems like nowadays all Hurts fans’ lives are on Telegram or Instagram but I kinda still like this little world here. As some of you might remember I do listen to their albums literally blindfolded and as always I’ve counted the waiting days - 1071. The longest and the most frightened waiting is over but the new one is on or not?

Oh, Gosh I’m literally shaking. I’ll definitely say my feelings about every song but a bit later.

As for now just let me say a few important things. This album is quite special for me. It killed me from the first listen. Every word of each and every song on it reflects my inner world. Like Adam said I always perceived music as a gateway into discovering my feelings, it’s a lingering journey of knowing myself. This album is not an escape, it’s a story of facing yourself. It took me a while to talk about it, ‘cause after encontless listening I plunged into deep thoughts. Well, it seems like we are all originally from our childhood. And if we weren’t accepted and loved the way we needed here we are, adults with the eyes of a kid. We can be implemented in the profession but we still will be chasing wrong people in search of unconditional love. The truth is we won’t be loved by anybody until we’ll be in peace with ourselves, until we won’t feel the luck of anything. Remember Theo’s role in “A little something for your Birthday”? Lovely idea of a film, don’t you think so? So the only way to cope with all our wounds is discovering and understanding our true nature. Listening and dealing with emotions we all have instead of scrolling them. That’s it, sounds quite simple but it’s the hardest work ever. We used to run away from ourselves but the real growth is only in being who you are.

To be fair, looking back to when I began being a Hurts fan I never thought that one day we’ll be on the same page. But now I see that we were always there. From Happiness to Faith they did a soundtrack of my inner search. Search for acceptance of myself. They become one of my Voices who’s always there for me when I feel the most low. Ironically I’ve never been the one who’s listening to the songs they like until getting sick of it. Hurts’ songs are pouring in me and then living in me like a part of my body or something. I’m living them.

Do you remember Ben’s filming during Desire tour? I witnessed a few interviews myself. It was quite interesting. But the thing is he never asked why do all these people do what they do? I can only say for myself. I’m spreading Hurts ideas, way of thinking, music at least not last because of a gratitude for everything they made me go through. I found myself in helping people to learn them. To understand what’s going on around the music they do. Because Hurts music you know has always been so much more than music. I kinda feel like a Hurts’ voice. Through this years I can’t tell you how many interviews I’ve translated, I personally heard and read them all. And it might be one of the reasons why I’m still here, writing this review. Knowing that my translations have been read by thousands of people and if only one person out of them gets what Hurts really meant is making me the happiest person ever.

The last year for me personally has been the hardest one. I think that for those one who’ll be reading my opinion on the songs it’s important to know that one of the reasons above thousands others for such a rating mark is because my heart was broken for the first time in ten years. I’ve let myself fall in love but it just didn’t work. I might be fractured or crucified but here I am the way I am. And it is ok. 

Uh, it’s been a hard few paragraphs. Coming back to the review. I feel like I should start with the promo stuff. I was watching it with interest but got no power to join. Maybe it’s because being a part of a Hurts path for 11 years in a row on a daily basis (if only I was 10 years younger *winking), maybe ‘cause of some personal struggling. When you’re becoming older you don’t need the preparation for the dark album you’ve already living like this. To be fair, I tried a few puzzles in the start, spending 8 or 10 hours on them and buried the idea ‘cause felt like a hero from the “Lost in Translation”.

Listeners will always be arguing about new music. Eternal discussion about being a true fan and loving and accepting all songs equally or being picky and liking only a few will always appear with every new era. For me love is only true if you’ve got an open heart and your mind is free of expectations.

But I’m here to talk about music, so that’s it.

“Voices” – a contrast shower. When guys released promo, with the lyrics, I was in a deep mess, bursting into tears, with those two videos only. I didn’t need any other interview about the album or something, I’ve read them all and the whole puzzle came into a place through the words of the song. Through the meaning of the lyrics. It’s bold, sincere, personal, intimate. That’s what Hurts music is about. Always. With the sound - it’s a step forward. Love the vocal part (it’s so disarming), what a broken drum line (my personal crush) and what about an anthemic plum? The song is so unexpected but it felt so right and once again thanks to the microwave. It saved so many souls. And again I know how sometimes those voices can abuse, pursue, bother. How for example they can reflect your parents’ installations displaced your own voice. Equally I know how almost the same voices like Hurts songs can make you feel better. Can make you feel heard, adopted, dear how they can comfort you and sympathize. That’s what true music can do for us. Becoming that person from a Darkest Hour. Guys, thank you.

“Suffer” – a slap in the face. Looking in the mirror straight into your own eyes and confessing the addiction. Love how the detached vocal contrasting aggressive mood of the sound. It’s that stage of the relationship when you understand it’s inner reasons. When you face how curved your true nature is because of your addiction. And that can totally make you realise that you became a slave to your own emotions. Seeing this gave you the reins of government  back. You can still be in a relationship but for now they dissolve you with acid. And the more you’re being tactile touched the more lonely and fey you become. Don’t think I should mention how painful this experience might be. And I love how prickly the cofemashine part is sounding, how it’s cyclicality reflects the whirl of thoughts. The cards revealed. You realised that you’ve been hiding in a fake little world but you still want to be there because you don’t know how to act differently. Virus detected but the whole system is paralysed.

“Fractured” – an opened wound. Here we go, you still looking into your own eyes but now poison penetrates your insides. At that stage you start hating yourself. You’re your only foe now. You can’t cope with any tactile contact any more otherwise it might kill you. With the words “I might be everything that is wrong for you” rang out the unsightly truth that she is that viper warmed on the chest. But at that stage you reflect everything on yourself ‘cause it was you who chose her to be your lover. So in a way it’s fair enough. And that’s why you are a complete mess now. Confess, I squealed listening to it for the first time. And I’m still frozen with every whispered word and how harsh melody before the broken serene vocal line of an ending almost licks my neck a way straight up to my earlobe. ASMR isn’t it?

“Slave To Your Love” – the beginning. Here we go, that’s how the story of an abusive relationship started. You fall in love but it’s not the same for the object of your love. Maybe she’s not ready to admit to herself that you are not the one. Because of lots of different reasons it’s even not important you’ll never know them anyway. It’s quite often she doesn’t understand it herself. But the thing you can do is ask: Why am I doing this to myself? Why do I choose those who don’t see me? I mean you think you can’t do it while you are in love but that’s not true. Even being drowned by a wave of feelings we still keep hearing our inner voices. That admitting, warning us but we used to skip them through good or tough times being in love is not an exception. The reason for abuse is never in the person we choose, it’s always in us. The sound in the chorus with the phrase “I’m a slave to love” feels like the ringing of bells of that little inner voice it’s calling for your attention. You’re a slave. And the music soundtracks it perfectly, you’re running and jumping from a cliff to nowhere. The final whirlpool of the melody is like a hurricane funnel that swallows you.

“All I Had To Give” – a confession. This is it. Can we skip this song, please? No, not this time. Now - is the time to face it. For me, this song might be the hardest to listen to ever. The same reaction I had listening to Unspoken. But this one says everything that was silent before. I can’t even try to imagine how it feels to share such sincerity with the song. Listening to it for the first time I petrified, lost the control of my emotions and bursted into tears. I had to stop listening to the album. It took me quite a while to decide to continue. I can still hardly restrain my emotions each time I dare to listen to it. I can try to express my sensible feelings while listening to it by drawing a film scene. Imagine an empty highway in the middle of the desert. You’re standing all alone and the silence that surrounds you and it’s almost tangible, peaceful isn’t it? But in a second without having time to blink you’ve been hit by a car and as soon as it appeared it disappeared with a sound like the bee buzzing or something. And here you are - a crippled lonely body lying on a highway in the middle of nowhere. Impressive isn’t it? Yes I’m in awe of what this song does to me. Yes, that’s how I open myself up - admitting that I never do. Am I suffering the consequences of it? Sometimes. Because I don’t like it but it’s the wrong direction in relationship with yourself. Oh, the musical frame of this picture is something special. Isn’t it a true miracle that somebody knows exactly how to express your feelings with a song. And lucky Theo.

“Liar” – a thriller. What a brave expose, amazing. Such a vivid picture. Can you see those lying eyes? Oh, feeling being scanned. But I’m on the other side. I know that feeling of being deceived. The sound with the first Liar in the chorus made me terrified, indescribably incredible. Caught at the crime scene. As if this word set fire to the leaf and before the eyes of the observer it just became an ashes. And everything that was important and dared became rubish. Personal Hiroshima in one word. So simple and yet so heavy. Like all the weight of the world rushed onto your shoulders. Saying this one word made you a grain of sand. You don’t seem to exist anymore. Everything depreciated. And I love the buzzing sound of the second verse. It’s like a kaleidoscope of memories turning to dust. And the ending of the song - that final scream “Liar” it’s like a circle crying in your head when you’ve already left alone.

“Somebody” – an anger kick. Well, now the liar has a word to say. But thankfully you get the strength to close the door behind yourself instead of just realizing that you’ve been cheated. This is no longer a protest, but a riot. The time when arguments no longer exist. Your anger is a gunpowder and all previous behaviour was a flame path and now all your powder kegs are exploding inside forcing you to act. To shut her lying mouth up. It’s enough. This blast blows you away with its wave and the present becomes the past. You’re still in the heat of passion but to stay is not an option any more. The shackles fell down. Your words about somebody are more like a precept now. But also a prick to the deceiver, you admit the existence of someone else next to you. She’s no longer the one for you. And what a lovely dubstep sound in the final chorus. Those guitar riffs in the end are so sharp. I love the whole dynamic from the introduction through the verse to the chorus. An emotional storm from the beginning till the end. The whole song itself is like an interrupted inhalation on 0:38.

“Numb”  – a psychological coma. Have you ever been mentally paralysed the way deep so you can’t actually move? Oh, how clever the album is composed. Being myself stuck between “Somebody” and “Numb” nowadays I can’t even explain how I’m amazed by the story they told through Faith. 2:15 and what a scream I can only wish I could’ve cried it all out, thanks for the music that does it for me. How lovely starts the last chorus, beautiful vertigo, feels like a stranglehold on the neck limits the intake of air into the lungs. You escaped from prison, but you have not yet freed yourself in your mind. Inside you are still a prisoner, barely breathing. It’s a terrible time of withdrawal symptoms for the past life ‘cause it’s the same way as a drug addict. Poker face inside out. The fish is lying on the floor and moving no more. Just reflexively swallows air. Everything around has become mechanical, you are a biorobot. And the marching rhythm of the whole song confirms this. you’re just trying to keep running on autopilot.

“Redemption”  – a repentance. The reassessment of the values ​​of those who returned from the war. After all you’ve been through here you are accepting the consequences of your own choices. The only thing that’s left is hope. Hope that not all is lost and the ship, although with a hole, does not go to the bottom. After all, ships do not sink in water, they sink only when the water is inside them. Even standing on the bridge across the Severn, the biggest challenge is still to accept yourself with all your mistakes, regrets, wounds, scars and demons. You can’t change your past acts or inactions. The only person who’s really judging you is you. And the only way to find peace is to forgive yourself for not listening to your own inner voices or listening to the wrong ones, imposed by society or any other external frameworks. Everything that happens with us is solely our will. Facing it all can be hard sometimes. Should we talk about music in the song? I don’t know how. The melody and the lyrics were made for each other despite the fact that they were written at different times and under the influence of different circumstances. And what an epic final part with strings and horns it made the song something more than a song as if personifying the fall of an angel from heaven. When the ground is slipping off under your feet as a boomerang of your actions returns to the sender by making a circle.

“White Horses” – a dizzying allegory or a black sheep. A real outstander of the album. Cinematique lyrics continue to roll the gallop of white horses along the edge of the sea wave. But looking at their developing manes and contracting muscles in the rays of the setting sun as if in slow motion, in my thoughts it’s not running horses at all. Is your breathing quickening too? Bet you flashing your own private moments. During the first time I listened to it, I really got dizzy. The song spun me off the reality. Never had such an experience myself so it’s hard for me to see Madeline. But I’m ok with it ‘cause from the outside it seems quite brave. I guess I sympathize with her. It might be a nightmare, in reality, exchanging real intimacy for stones. Isn’t it that poison that fills up the void? Anyway, I am in awe of the music that took me on the carousel of my beautiful but painful memories. I liked the wind that disheveled my hair during the trip. He is the only one besides music and water allowed to touch me.

“Darkest Hour” – a keystone. That what Hurts music has always been for me. That exact moment I heard the chorus for the first time I thought how much it means to me. It got me in an emotional mess. I cried. Bitterly. Hurts music is my beacon, and as long as I can experience moments like this I live. Feeling the fullness of life with every cell of my body and soul. That song gives me goosebumps and tears with each listening. Maybe, like the guys said, it’s a moment of hope but it feels like an escape for me. Might be for the first time in this album. We don’t look into our reflections, but we look into each other’s eyes. And it’s the best feeling ever, even if it all happens in my mind only. It just doesn’t matter as long as I can feel it it’s real. It reminded me of a hug we shared with Theo after a pre-listening to the Desire three years ago. (read more here) That was so unexpected but yet so right and I feel like every first listening of a new album should end with a reciprocal embrace of the musicians in gratitude for everything that their music has brought into your life. Because with every sung word I feel like I’ve been warmed up and cuddled tighter and tighter. So in the end I can barely breathe. What an epic crescendo with a guitar solo in the end. The quintessence of Theos’ words embodied in music, raising you above all that is mortal. Thank you.

And now I ask especially sensitive natures not to read further. Because further I will write something that cannot be accepted by any heart that belongs to Hurts. 

“What if” has a strong meaning. Whatever you’ll place after could change the whole mood or meaning. So I’m terrified, almost shaking but writing ‘cause I’d never in ages could’ve said it out loud. What if… Taking a deep breath. What if Faith is the final Hurts album. Don’t ask why and don’t try to kill me. It’s murdering enough to even think, not write.

If so, then Faith is a perfect illustration/description of how Hurts fan gonna feel himself when he’ll know that this is the end. If so, then it’s understandable why they tried to kill us with puzzles. They not only wanted to get us to the place where we’ll feel sick and confused but wanted to show us how they have lived for the last few years. How does their profession make them feel. How easy you can come close to insanity. How they pushed themselves to the limit and what happened after. They’re burned down. That’s what they’re telling us with the video for Redemption. And here they are on their knees, burning and at the last moment raising their hands into the skies and this is Faith by Hurts. That is it. In a prayer even the last moment they still physically want to have faith. They want to have hope, but it’s burned and Faith is the only thing that’s left. Do you see why the cover of Voices is torn? And all this confessions on Spotify. 

I feel so sorry and lost writing about it and I hope it’s just my own crazy stupid fantasies caused by the bad times on personal fronts. Maybe I should say a few words about myself so you might understand what’s going inside me right now and why I decided to share this without you. I’m following Hurts advice to share, face the demons and try to get out of the place you’re in. Well, let’s talk a bit. I’m sure you feel confused too but let’s go for an imaginary walk. Maybe together it’s not that scary. And that is another reason why they created the Telegram Channel. Coincidences? Nah, I don’t think so. 

It’s fashionable now to say: “I’ve been with Hurts all their path through.” But for me it’s fair enough but not really. They’d hit me in 2010 with Bizz Session for The Sun covering Kylie. I was 22 and searched for a handsome man because I felt a lack of beauty around me. That was my crazy guilty pleasure, watching some commercials with male models. You might be laughing, but the description of the video said: “I could sell my soul to the devil for a man like him”. I was intrigued and played it. I knew Kylie’s song but the way Hurts did it was something special. Absolutely insane it still gives me goosebumps rewatching it. Never in ages I would ever believed that the video could change my life but it did. 

The first Moscow show took place in a 25 minutes walk from my house and I got there 8 hours before the start. Didn’t have a ticket ‘cause the show was sold out but I thought that I should be there anyway. Maybe I still got a chance to see them. I was standing surrounded by dozens of girls with drawings and photographs for autographs. I saw Paul and Richard taking pictures with the fans. I watched all this from the side. I had a CD in my bag, a collection of Russian music that I recorded for the guys specially. I didn’t give it to Paul or Richard. I don’t know why. Maybe I was dumbfounded by the agility of the surrounding girls, throwing themselves on the musicians’ necks. In general, I stood at the club until the evening, when one guy came up to me offering to buy a ticket which I did and get inside. I was frozen to the bone by that time because outside there was no more than 8 degrees Celsius. I remember standing in the lobby and talking to the girls from the queue, I said that I regretted not giving the disc. And at that moment I saw Richard coming down the stairs to meet me. I called out to him, he burst into a wide smile, grabbed me into his bear hug and agreed to give my gift to the guys. It all seemed kinda crazy. I was twitching nervously at the entrance to the hall, choking on cigarette smoke. And when the doors finally opened, a frantic wave carried me inside. The minutes of waiting dragged on painfully long. The musicians followed each other and the moment Hurts finally came out, changed everything. ‘Unspoken’ opened the set list of the concert and the door into my heart. That was it, my story was told, like you know in Fugees’ song: 

“…I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style And so I came to see him, to listen for a while And there he was, this young boy, a stranger to my eyes Strumming my pain with his fingers Singing my life with his words Killing me softly with his song Killing me softly with his song Telling my whole life with his words Killing me softly with his song I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd I felt he’d found my letters and read each one out loud I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on…”

And from that exact moment I kept an eye on them. I wanted to be a part of the Hurts’ world ‘cause they in a strange and completely incomprehensible way to me were already a part of my own path. Since then my day to day life includes Hurts. News, interviews, photographs, posts, translations and everything imaginable and unimaginable stuff around. But not as an addiction that blinded me but as a conscious choice.The choice of a person who’s been understood, heard and accepted by two strangers. No matter how strange it may seem. Their music recognized me. This is my heartbeat. This is who I am.

And that is why my heart skipped a bit while I was watching the video for “All I Have To Give” and couldn’t move for two hours after. I literally sat in front of the monitor for two hours in a row in complete disbelief. How did it happen that they spent themselves so recklessly. Why did we let ourselves treat them in such a way that they burned out. Yes, you can say that we are not guilty. But I think that in addition to the choice that the guys made  themselves, there is also a share of our participation in this. This brings to mind the nasty things that Adam casually mentioned in his latest q&a on his Instagram live stream. I’m screaming Billie Eilish lyrics here:

“As long as I’m here No one can hurt you Don’t wanna lie here But you can learn to If I could change The way that you see yourself You wouldn’t wonder why you here They don’t deserve you” 

Unfortunately, not all fans understand the consequences of their actions. But as long as I can’t influence the actions of others I don’t wanna talk about it no matter how much it upsets me. Of course, you can argue with me and say that they knew what they were doing, choosing the life of an artist. And there is a grain of justice in this, as well as in the fact that when you compose music in the bedroom you have no idea what the consequences of popularity might be. Not all musicians write music about themselves, about their experiences, troubles and pain. Not everyone is ready to speak directly and openly about themselves, looking into the eyes of their listeners. Hurts music is always like that. This is her true nature. Even if the creators are eager to escape from themselves, the music reveals everything. Because these are not just new songs, this is a whole life. Life that is hidden at the fingertips of Theo and Adam while they write songs. They are not entertainers, they are two humans. Two personalities that have a chemistry to help each other to open up and be realized in music. A precious gift that they both carry in this world. Every time I think about it, I sink into awe.

That is what it’s all about. That is what it means to be a real musician. That’s what it means to be human, accepted, understood and loved. Understanding and appreciating such a support, such a connection, we keep a grain of truth in our hearts. And I immensely value every new day I have lived, the day when there are two wonderful people in my life, Theo and Adam. Thank you for everything!

We do not know what the future holds for us, we do not know what will happen in a minute. But knowing that somewhere there are two people you don’t know but who are able to feel the same as you, it gives life a taste. If you need time to recover, find new yourself, embrace the life you have chosen or embark on new adventures, you can manage your time as you see fit. Just know that your magical ability to write music is a gift you seem to have come into this world to share. And your listeners don’t take your albums for granted. Each time - these are moments of absolute inexplicable and all-embracing happiness and joy, both for you and for myself, that I’ve managed to hear, share and experience a true miracle. And can tell the world about it, as I just did. Thank you!

I don’t think any of you got here. Don’t think you’ve read it all but if you did thank you for your time I really appreciate your attention. I hope some of my words resonated in your soul. 

I’ve got  my own odd tradition to say personal Hurts oath after a new release. Now I can repeat it for the fourth time: ‘To be your faithful fan in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to respect you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and inspire you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you from this day forward until the day when your sixth album will be released. Hutcherson.’

P.S.: