it doesnt exist

ill shut up about the strip club thing sry, been going on long enough about it, but god it has both the radfem in me and the insecure bpd ridden me reeling but thats what i get for dating a man

sigh i went to a minute clinic to get a nurse to sign off on a medical clearance form for birthright and once i disclosed the meds im on and that im bipolar she was like uhm im not sure you should be going on this trip based on your history of mental health issues and substance abuse and so now i have to find someone with less medical integrity to sign off on this form to let my crazey fuckd self go to israel

talked with my mom about how i was really hurt that Man I'm Dating went to a strip club and she started defending him by bringing up his disability and was like "well he has a prosthetic leg maybe he hasnt been treated well by women and is just insecure and wants attention from women so thats why he went to the strip club" and im like Yeah but also holy shit thats like a slippy slope leading to the "disabled men deserve access to prostituted women" argument and i kinda snapped at her eughhh bleh i feel all kinds of awful

my brain rn: me need drinky drinky

i keep oscillating between wanting to stick a gun in my mouth to thinking im the fucking queen of the world this rapid cycling is making me feel insane