the dinuccios

"I have come to a new found liking of my whale stickers thank you very much, I may even start to wear them again. You wouldn't dare. I would cry and then you would feel bad because you love me. The alternative to that would be me beating you up and we both wouldn't want either of those."

"You've been really defensive and out of it lately. I don't know what I did wrong."

"Are you okay, baby? You're acting kinda weird."

"How long are those things, Jesus Christ won't you have major blood loss or something?"

"I'm still not going to call you that. You are and will forever be my babycakes, babycakes. You aren't the shit. You may have shitted in the pool after getting off the waterslide on that one unspeakable field trip in the third grade other than that you're lame — I mean that in the nicest way possible y'know, you're the only person who still trades Pokémon cards with me. He's a cartoon, he doesn't count 'cause they are known to have ridiculous names."

"You're full of shit, you should never choose to associate me with the word cool when you know I collect stuffed animals. You're crazy, babycakes is so freaking cute and calling you Zachy-poo is basically the equivalent to calling you Zachy-shit."

   ”You’re being a prick.”

"I'm just being myself, sweetheart."

"Because it scares you?"

"If you knew me you would know that I'm not scared of nothin'.'"

"I'm not joking. You're cute and funny plus you're the absolute sweetest guy I've ever met like, in my whole entire life. I do still really like whales, the whale emoji is the most used on my phone! You know me so well, I would've started calling you Zachy-poo."

"You are the must stubborn person I have ever met in my life." 

"It's truly a pleasure to annoy the shit out of you."

"I am not,"

"I'm pretty sure you are."

"Well, why won’t he just get paid in money so he can buy a lot of gum?" Her eyebrows furrow before she hands him a plate with a slice of cake on it and serves herself one as well. 

He shrugged, taking a bite. "He's just weird like that, all of my siblings are weird in their own way. For example my little sister's going through this whole fuck-you-I-hate-everyone phase and she lit my neighbors lawn on fire. She blamed it on a movie she watched which, inspired her to become an arsonist."