TinyMel

I feel like I've been looked at as jealous or envious, of people who have baby girls, (because I have all boys) to people thinking I want their man... When really I don't care I have boys because they will grow to protect me, and other peoples boyfriends? I have been with the same man for 9 years and we have grown so much and I wouldn't change him for anyone else I love him!

Now I know y’all are probably what got me through my depression!! And that has been the 3 years he has blessed me with his life!! Let me explain….

Though my pregnancy was the worst he survived for me like I did what was best for him! 5 weeks after leaving the hospital he was sent to Texas children hospital and had to stay there for days waiting to see if he needed surgery! And I was there to hold his hands through every poke every hour knocking on the door to check on him! It felt like forever being in that hospital waiting for the doctors to tell some kind of good news! After a few days they finally let us go home but if it happens again he will be needing surgery (witch I’ll be there for him every step of the way)

I don’t remember if before or after the hospital visit he had to go to a specialist to cut that little thing under your tongue because he was tongue tied and of course I was there to hold his hands and cleaned his face to let him know I’ll always be there for him!

You would think wow that poor baby has been through a lot and I agree he has, BUT all of that has grown him into the sweetest little boy on the planet (in my eyes) from him ALWAYS wanting to cuddle with me, hold my hand, giving me kisses, telling me he loves me lot, and literally never wanting to leave my side! That boy has shown me what it’s like to have real love!!

To my surprise the test was positive and I was so scared that I was shaking but I was so happy I cried then packed my kids in the car to get some stuff to tell hubby we were FINALLY having a baby!!! I got everything done before he got home from work and surprised him with our announcement! Let just say he was as happy as I was! And all my depression went away because I realized that all good thing goes to those who wait! And I patiently waited for my turn!

Unfortunately good news turned into bad news at 5 months when my body started to reject my baby, and I started losing weight to where I didn’t even look pregnant, and my doctors told me if I don’t start gaining weight I’d lose my baby because he wasn’t getting what he needed! So I tried the rest of my pregnancy to gain weight, and let me just tell you it wasn’t easy! I had to constantly drink protein drinks eat food all day even when I want hungry or felt sick! But I did what I could to attempt to gain weight!

At the end of my pregnancy I probably only gained a total of MAYBE 10 pounds throughout the whole pregnancy! But our due date was finally coming near and I didn’t have to wait much longer! And on June 28th 2019 my baby boy was born at 7lb! Now I know y’all will say 7lb is healthy for a baby but both my older children were about 8lb each! Not to mention that when we left the hospital he left being 6lb n 11oz!

So back in like 2018 my hubby and I decided we wanted to have another baby, he got a job with better pay and money wise we were doing really good! So we agreed to start trying to have a baby. Now we at the time we already had 2 children who were very easy to get pregnant with! So we thought it wouldn’t be a problem having another baby! But to our surprise it wasn’t! Every month we would try but every month we would get negative results! And every time I took a test I would get more and more depressed convinced I was doing something wrong that something was wrong with me! After almost all year of trying my hubby sat me down and said we should stop trying! And my heart broke! I didn’t want to hear why he felt this way because in my head I believed it was my fault we couldn’t have a baby anyways! But he told me that he has been noticing not being able to have a baby has made me depressed and he hates to see me that way! So unfortunately I agreed ONLY because he told me that we will stop TRYING but if it happens then it will happen in time I just have to wait!