Nothing To Say

red cheeks blue jumper

I thought the rest would be easy

but I look at the path that I’ve carved

and cannot find the entrance

and I know I have the key

but I lost it somewhere

now shirtless beer open

I think about the boy upstairs

and the boy who wants my heart

and how sad he would be if he found me upstairs

and how that’s stupid and medieval 

if you love someone

then you should let them fuck other people

and if they come back to you

then great, because you also get to fuck other people

I want to rest so much

blue footballs and beach time

sleeping in and writing poems

puppy love and face masks

stinky cheese and sparkling rose

blue tables and chairs

cobblestones and borrowed bikes

feel like throwing up all the time

Yoga 2:24-3pm

Outline paper: 3pm - 3:30pm

Fold Laundry: 3:30-4:00pm

Finish Paper: 4:00- 5:30pm

Shower: 5:30

Work Meeting at Juice Bar: 6:00pm-7:00pm

maybe it’s because

my first kiss was a girl from Spain

or my over-large feet and crooked nose and faulty lungs

maybe it’s that I’m winning now, and will continue to win

anyway, I haven’t been able to write

but I’ve been sleeping at night

waking up early and living so bright

the dream of the white airy apartment in little havana didnt come true

the dream of the gay roommate smoking cigs on our balcony

didnt either

(there’s no balcony and he’s straight apparently)

but that’s ok

I can finish my school work and go to bar

(and late at night before we slept

how I trusted her, though she

frightened me. 

To write about the ocean

to float, be floating

to be sitting in this dark 

room, pomegranate stained

fingertips hardened 

to feel simultaneously

full of poetry, and empty

both busy,

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