you are a weapon

Flipping to a new page in his sketchbook, John rubs the end of his pencil into an angled point, giving him a broader range of line and shading possibilities. “Lucky for you, I’m good at multitasking.” He can sketch and talk about rugby at the same time, just like he could sketch at keep and ear on his dad to make sure he wasn’t hurting Harry, just like he could protect Harry and keep up on his homework enough to not fail. He’s good at dividing his attention.

“Hm, well, if you insist on leaving in the middle of our heated discussion, Fosters is in this glass, but I wouldn’t mind a Strongbow followup.” He lifts his eyes from his page to both give her a quick smile and to get another look at the shape of her nose. He doesn’t have a particular method for sketching, nor a preferred style for painting. Right now he wants to sketch from the inside out - physically and metaphorically. 

He laughs at her jab towards forwards, and he shakes his head as he turns his attention more fully towards the sketch he’s starting. “I played two positions,” he says, working the curve of a nostril and then the bridge of her nose. “Also please keep moving. I’m going for expression right now, not an exact replica.” He smiles reassuringly, blue eyes flicking up for a moment before looking back down. “I was eighthman and inside center. Which isn’t all that impressive, given that it was just secondary school, but I hated being tied down to one spot. Plus there was really one position that played to what I could do physically. I wasn’t bulky like the forwards and I wasn’t fast enough to be the wings. I liked being in the middle. Supporting the rest of ‘em.”

She can’t help but find it a bit unnerving to have him looking at her as though she were the art. Sabine knows that her looks can get her places, but the mere act of existence has her doubting a lot. Being never enough for her family left her always a step short of full confidence. It was easy enough to pretend, but having someone else study her this intensely was more difficult than she wanted to admit to herself. 

Smiling in return to him, she laughs too, their voices mingling for a moment before she shifts again (sitting still isn’t a strong suit either). Taking a sip of her own, Sabine shakes her head and laughs again quieter this time. “There’s nothin’ wrong with playing on a secondary school team. We all start somewhere. And I suppose there’s that whole bullshite some coaches say about ‘as long as you had fun’ and all.” 

Tyson waited as instructed, nervously fidgeting with the ring of his right middle ring, as though waiting to be scolded, but he didn’t take his eyes off of Tasha. He didn’t think she’d hurt him, but Tyson felt as though looking away was somehow dangerous. An irrational seed of fear that refused to be shaken away. As she wrote, Tyson ran through everything he’d said in his own mind, trying to remember anything he might have missed. Someway that he hadn’t done enough, something he should have paid more attention to.

His gallows expression brightened immeasurably when Tasha said that he was doing a great job, and then crumpled in wounded confusion. Tyson knew there was more that he could have done. He should have tried harder to figure out how tall the two men were or to look at their faces from his perch, rather than vaguely guessing at their ages. It had felt like so much information in his mind, but saying it out loud, Tyson felt pitifully empty-handed. His quest to find a trustworthy officer completed, the teenager had deflated and lacked the courage to openly disagree with Tasha.

“Yeah, that’s all correct, Ma’am.” He nodded along as the officer read back his information. “I, um… Sometimes, I do. Not usually as big as this, but occasionally, yeah. I don’t mean to, I just… don’t always get noticed,” Tyson said, as he tucked his arms closer to his body defensively at her question, fidgeting with his ring whilst his hand rested against his heart; hammering with fearful energy he’d been tapping down since spotting the other officer walking into the alleyway. “M-My history teacher says I have a good eye for detail,” Tyson blurted out, trying to justify himself and then flushing with embarrassment at his rushed words.

She had never particularly liked kids. Of course, she never really found a reason to like most people. The facade of gentle officer was difficult to keep up, at least in the beginning. Sabine had finally slid into the patterns of her cover, a few kind words in a direct discussion had become common nature. Assuring the boy was more than just insurance, she didn’t want him to be hurt and she couldn’t figure out why. Maybe she was growing a conscience, something unfortunate for her position. She threw away these thoughts easily. 

Smiling at him as he continued, she nodded thoughtfully. “Well, I’m glad you came to me with this information. You can always come to us if you see anything more.” It was a dangerous habit he had, but she wasn’t about to tell him to stop. Being careful? Yes. But stopping could cut off this potential flow of information (in the great unlikelihood that he actually listened to her on it), which would be a detriment. 

“ i dropped a million tears ”

“ i know responsibilities put me here. ”

“ i don’t pedal backwards but i live old-fashioned ”

“ what do you stand for? ”

“ let’s talk about love ”

“ is it anything and everything you hoped for? ”

“ i know the feelings haunt you ”

“ tell me what you gon’ do to me ”

“ confrontation ain’t nothing new to me ”

“ fuck you and all your expectations ”

“ i don’t even want your congratulations ”

“ i recognise your false confidence ”

“ i hate people that feel entitled ”

“ i just cry for no reason ”

“ you’re soul searching if you’re looking for me ”

“ they’re after me ”

“ ain’t no one after me ”

“ i took my shot and made it in ”

“ most of them gonna talk ”

“ we gonna bet it all ”

“ i really wanna know your ways ”

“ you been running through my mind all day ”

“ something in the way you move ”

“ i fucked up so many times but i still have you ”

“ i’m here to give you love and never lose you ”

“ i’d travel light years for you ”

“ making sure what we have is safe ”

“ i can’t be everywhere ”

“ i can take you anywhere ”

“ fuck you want from me? ”

“ we all gonna die ”

“ i know it hurts ”

“ you’re dead to me ”

“ it’s a ride in the psych ward ”

“ what you standing on the side for? ”

“ try it if it feels right ”

“ try and shoot me down for voicing my own opinion ”

“ i try to make it stop ”

“ no one’s perfect ”

“ no one’s worthless ”

“ we ain’t deserving of everything ”

“ paramedics can’t save you ”

“ that’s just something i can’t relate to ”

“ baby bring your friends with you ”

“ i don’t wanna have to do it ”

“ a lot of shit on my mind made me think a lot ”

“ i don’t really like to talk ”

“ hope i strike a nerve ”

“ so what’s your game plan, if you got one? ”

“ it’s probably better that you don’t ”

“ i don’t need you to change ”

“ i’ve got to get away ”

“ be as free as you can ”

“ miss me with that bullshit ”

“ this ain’t what you want ”

“ and it’s like that, lil bitch ”

“ fuck me in the car ”

“ two wrongs don’t make us right ”

“ tell me something’s wrong ”

“ oh baby i want you ”

“ i need you ”

“ i wanna see you ”

“ baby, i wanna go out ”

“ your body’s on fire ”

“ there’s still time for us to run away ”

“ why you emotional? ”

“ baby i care, baby i swear ”

“ i’m always ready to take a life again ”

“ tell me who’s gonna save me from myself ”

“ tell me who’s gonna save me from this hell ”

“ without you i’m all alone ”

“ i’m trying to fight back tears ”

asked     and still accepting!from this aesthetic meme with  @tigersscars​