TAKSA

Suatu ketika saat saya menjadi mahasiswi tingkat tiga, saya dan teman-teman sekelas terlambat mengumpulkan dua laporan praktik dengan alasan tidak bisa membagi waktu karena mengejar tenggat pengumpulan Proyek Akhir. Bagi beberapa orang, laporan masing-masing sudah selesai namun budaya yang ada di jurusan kami adalah “tidak saling meninggalkan” sehingga kami memutuskan untuk menunggu hingga selesai semua. Singkat cerita, laporan ini kami kumpulkan setelah terlambat satu bulan dan mendapat tamparan keras dari pengajar-pengajar yang bersangkutan. Dosen A memberi nilai atas laporan kami pada batas minimal dan Dosen B memberi nilai sesuai apa yang kami kerjakan. Nilai yang sesuai itu adalah, nilai gagal bagi yang menjiplak laporan orang lain. Lebih dari setengah mahasiswa di kelas kami menjadi tersangka. Rata-rata melakukan penjiplakan antar dua hingga tiga orang sehingga nilai untuk satu laporan dibagi untuk ketiga orang tersebut, yang hasilnya menjadi nilai E untuk tiap orang. Bagi para pembaca yang familiar dengan peraturan akademik kampus saya pasti tahu apa arti nilai E, ya dropout meskipun hanya satu nilai. Ucapan dari saya dan beberapa teman yang lain untuk mengingatkan tentang pentingnya mengerjakan laporan dengan mandiri bukan sekali duakali diucap, tapi kemalasan mungkin saat itu sedang menguasai mereka. Beruntung diakhir keputusan mereka aman dari DO.

Saya juga bukan orang suci yang tidak pernah melakukan kecurangan, tapi saya berusaha untuk tidak lagi melakukan hal tersebut. Memiliki ketertarikan dibidang jurnalistik saat remaja membuat saya senang membaca dan menulis. Jurnalistik melatih saya untuk mencari dan mengolah data sehingga menjadi suatu informasi yang komunikatif. Saya dilatih untuk merangkum apa yang saya baca. Disamping itu, saya terlatih untuk membuat paragraf sendiri selama setidaknya empat tahun di tempat kursus Bahasa Inggris setiap minggu. Pengalaman-pengalaman tersebutlah yang membuat hati kecil saya selalu merasa bersalah ketika saya melakukan kecurangan dan geram ketika tulisan saya dijiplak tanpa izin dan tidak dengan etika yang benar (pencantuman sumber).

I can’t.

I can’t see you in your eyes.

I can’t feel your presences.

I can’t laugh to your jokes.

I can’t agree to your principles.

I can’t hear your words.

“Kenapa kamu masuk Polman?”

That was the first question that made me think for awhile since i chose this school on my own. The motives? idk.

I was so eager to pursue art, but in the middle i got distracted and chose engineering instead. My grade was not the best but it was not bad, and it seems that i had to take the engineering in order to get my grade as handy as possible. I was aiming for something i was not sure.

I was thinking of taking Geology Engineering or Material Science. But my mother never really agreed for choosing Geology, her major, as my major. She said the field work was already giving her a hard time and did not want her children felt the same way. In short, i was on the right track with Material Science.

Enrolling in University was hard as i thought it would be and i was holding on a backup plan, enroll to Polytechnic instead. I did not do my paper test well to go to Uni i was aiming, ITB. Deep down in my heart, i already knew that i was never meant to go to Uni. Gratefully, my high school grades were good enough to make me go to the Polytechnic.

I was taking the Precision Tools Design, and did not take any second choice major. It was either “I’m  in that major” or “I won’t go at all”, even “take it” or “leave it”. And again, gratefully they took me in.

I never told my parents that i enrolled to Polytechnic. Literally none information until i got my first announcement to go to the physical-health test, and that was when i told my mom. The next few weeks i got a news that i was one of the lucky students that they accepted. 

My father, who never had a good terms with me, got angry because i chose the Polytechnic rather enrolled to Uni. He said bad things, some word that other parents would not say to their children. I was pretty pissed off, like hell. But who cared? I still went to this major.

The next question that made my heart went shrinking was:

“Apakah orang tuamu mendukung kamu kuliah disini?”

and my answer was:

“Ya, mereka mendukung saya sepenuhnya.”

While in fact, i was in fight with my father and he did not want to give any money for my first tuition. He said worst things about me that even were not relevant to the case. He just blew things off really bad until my patience worn out.

What if i answered it with the truth? Would they accept me in any way?

Because there are things they do not know, and i am glad that i said that.