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I need to learn to be less forgiving and a lot less understanding. Most people don't deserve that

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Today, I asked a psychologist if she was able to tell if somebody was lying to her face, due to her profession, and she responded with a simple, "no." She proceeded to tell me that as human beings, we're designed to feel empathy for others and most of us want to acknowledge that there is good in people. Others, however, lack the ability to sympathize. Many individuals are unable to recognize or identify with the feelings of others, termed, Narcissism.

If you're able to look someone, who does nothing but love you, in the eye and continuously lie, there is something wrong with you. I've learned that as unfortunate as the truth is, there are people out there who will take every bit of every chance they can to take advantage of the people who care the most.

For the past few weeks, I’ve felt everything in between: guilty, used, and neglected. I couldn’t grasp the truth of it all and now here I am, feeling relieved. Relieved that I finally have an answer and learning that loving others is my virtue and not a vice. I learned that caring for others is strength and not a weakness. I’m learning that it’s not me. I’m learning that not being perfect is perfect.

Sometimes I forget how blessed I am. Everything I do, everything I have, I do it for the people I love. There is no such thing as a greater life than the one I have and there is no such thing as better love than the love I get from the people around me. A few years ago I would have never thought I would be this lucky to be this fortunate and happy. I wouldn’t give this life up for anything.

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It's not easier the second time around. I'm not sure what hurts more, though. This is a really shitty feeling and I just want to shake off everything about you.

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