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*GETS FURIOUSLY JEALOUS OVER LITTLE THINGS THAT DONT MATTER*

“Get in quickly. There is no time to explain.”

when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would going “I SMELL MEAT SOMEONE HAS SOUP” and no one ever believed him

this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back 

that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil.

it was a mechanical pencil 

you may proceed 

OMG LMFAO WHAT DID I JUST READ.

THIS IS EITHER THE BEST OR THE WORST LOVE STORY I CAN’T DECIDE OMFG.

ah yes that large muscular man is very attractive but how would he look in lacy lingerie

guess this is my stop 

crying