under my skin.

moon taehyun, born april 17, 1995

aries sun / scorpio moon / taurus rising

class of 2014 

library skeleton: his father is an internationally acclaimed novelist who funded the library at hannam 

mother is a hotel heiress and owns thousands of properties all over the world

has 3 brothers: 1 npc brother who is 10 years older, a twin, and a younger brother (wanted connections up for the twin and youngest brother!)

older brother: moon sanghyun, born 1985 right after his parents got married. taehyun looked up to him fiercely. went to yale and double majored in business and law. bailed taehyun out of jail after the fire incident so now they aren’t on speaking terms

grew up in gangnam, had everything a kid could ever want except his parents attention

was a part of student council (president in 2014) and the debate team (had to follow in big brother’s footsteps)

smart, top of the class but mainly because he wanted to be his big brother, not because he actually enjoyed studying

became a wild child after graduation when his parents didn’t show and hear his speech

he partied with everyone in high school but became a party boy(tm) from 2014-2019

got mixed up with the wrong person (plot page idea: smoke) and accidentally burned down a building

now he’s cut off as his parents try to teach him a lesson about responsibility or whatever 

working at one of his mom’s hotels as a housekeeper to make ends meet

lives in probably the worst apartment in gangnam to keep up appearances but it’s so expensive for what is is

bisexual

personality (+): hardworking, grounded, honest, steadfast, spontaneous, protective

the best was his birthday 2 years back. taehyun was miserable, sad and lonely, broke and exhausted. they hadn’t come up with a concrete plan to see each other like they normally do for the big night in, so he was wallowing. got himself a pack of beer and a tiny cake from the convenience store down the road, planned to have a quiet night to himself. sabrina and haseok had different plans. the night ended with tae on his knees, sabrina behind him, her strap-on hitting every right spot he could ever imagine, the hand on his throat cutting off his blood flow just enough to make an impact. haseok in front of him, fisting his own dick in time with sabrina’s thrusts, just far enough out of reach that it was driving tae mad. taehyun, all heavy eyelids and unfocused gaze, crying from overstimulation and from not breaking eye contact with haseok and from lack of oxygen to his brain and from being brought to edge of right there only to be brought back down so many times and from the sheer attention from both of his favorite people and and and - 

this year is different. he’s the present, bow on his head and air on the rest of him, trying to keep a scowl off his face. he’s not sure if anyone else can feel the change in his mood, not sure if he cares if they do. he’s being petty, bratty, angry that he isn’t getting his way. once a spoiled brat, always a spoiled brat. they hadn’t all fucked since the reunion. hadn’t laced themselves together in ways no one could separate since taehyun swore he was done with haseok. he sure was shit at trying to get over someone. they had been together less than 24 hours ago, just the two of them, and of course taehyun had still felt disappointed in himself for not keeping his resolve to stay away from jin haseok but this was taking it a bit too far.

of course he couldn’t say no to sabrina’s puppy dog pleading eyes. he’d drop whatever he was doing to do anything for her. walk off the face of the earth and never come back if she asked him to. he’d fuck both herself and her fiancé for his birthday even though he was helplessly in love with him and heartbroken over him and so incredibly jealous of her if she asked. any time he sees those rings, his stomach flips and bile creeps up his throat and he wants to hide but he can’t because they keep reeling him back in. funny, he knew he was attached to haseok but he never knew he was to sabrina, too. 

haseok is taking off his clothes, sitting next to where taehyun is already on the bed, a sabrina size space between them when normally haseok would be the first to plaster himself to taehyun’s naked body. it’s takes all the restraint he has left in him to not laugh harshly at the juxtaposition. taehyun brings himself up to his knees, reaches his hand out for sabrina and wraps his hand gently around her wrist, let’s haseok drink in as much of his body as he wants because damnit this might be his birthday but taehyun is getting what he wants, too. “sabrina, you can’t just leave,” he says, voice low and slow, just loud enough for haseok to hear but know it’s not for him. he’s not going to be focusing on haseok tonight even though he knows he should. what better a birthday present than a cold shoulder?

1. it's his first day at hannam when taehyun sees him for the first time. taehyun is lanky, in the first stages of puberty but not quite there yet, with his button up pressed and tie secure around his neck, puffy jacket zipped firmly around him to block out as much of the february cold as it can. his hands are shoved in his coat pockets, earphones loudly blasting something that he wishes he could remember. he's nostalgic like that. wants to pin point and remember it forever so he can associate it with haseok for as long as he can. he's not even sure why he put in his headphones; the driver dropped taehyun off at school and it's not like the walk up the drive was long enough to need to the distraction. call it a security blanket.

a cold gust of wind is what does it, what breaks taehyun's eyes away from the front door of the school and gets him looking around. the wind hits his face just right causing him to tear up and turn his face the side just in time to see haseok. it wasn't that he was drop dead gorgeous or a vision, he was just a normal guy. but he was a guy taehyun had never seen before, and he knew almost everyone. his fascination was piqued.

taehyun talked to him first, of course he did, walked right up to him and introduced himself, barely noticing the way haseok could obviously care less. told him if he needed help around the school to come and find him, felt his eyes widen a touch when he noticed the accented way he talked, grinned wide as they parted ways with a bye and a promise to see him soon. and the rest, they say, is history.

2. it was easy to fall in love with haseok. he did it like he did everything else: fully, quickly, stupidly. taehyun had never had to deal with the terror that he knew most did about his sexuality; it was just a part of him that he always knew and it’s not like his family was religious at all to push that agenda onto him. but even without having a sexuality crisis, he had always been great at wanting things that he wouldn’t be able to have and haseok was no different. they hung out sometimes, not enough to be considered best friends or anything, but they were buddies. taehyun would talk too much about random things, assignments and student council, rambling on like he was known to do. haseok would listen, scoff when the time called for it. 

getting a rare smile out of haseok was like nothing else taehyun had felt before. they’d be goofing off after school, sitting on one of their beds, pushing one another like friends do. tae would look up and see a full smile on the other’s face, eyes crinkled up, and it would knock the wind out of him unlike any thing else ever had. he worked hard every time to pull smiles and grins out of the other boy, melting when he succeeded. it wasn’t long before those jolts of electricity from making haseok smile turned into butterflies in his stomach, his lungs feeling tight, his heart beating twice as fast. 

taehyun would stare at haseok in class, find every excuse to be near him, go out of his way to spend as much time together as he could. he wasn’t sure if haseok noticed. (he definitely did). tae never thought that it would turn into anything; he knew how haseok treated sunan and didn’t think there would be a chance in hell that his crush would be anything but disastrous. it was something that burned too hot to be anything good. did it scare him? make him rethink if it was a good idea to fall for jin haseok? absolutely. would he end up changing his mind? try to protect his heart? never.

3. the first time they hooked up was not too long after taehyun figured out his feelings for haseok were less than friendly. partying became the norm for almost everyone in his class and tae was no different; when people have as much money and as little responsibilities as they did, empty houses while parents were out became a place where they could all party to their hearts content. with drinking came flirting, touches that linger just a second too long, laughs that have little reserve, lips that spill secrets when they shouldn’t be.

haseok begins hosting parties of his own. his parents would leave for days on end leaving the house empty for the hannam students to use as they pleased. it was halloween, taehyun dressed as a cowboy and haseok as an angel. fitting, no? people came in their mini skirts and tight tops that left nothing to the imagination. taehyun himself only had on an open vest with nothing underneath and tight tight jeans, cowboy hat perched on his head. 

the drinks were flowing which meant a few things: taehyun and haseok had found their way outside for some “air”, sitting too close to one another, flushes high on their cheeks, hands on thighs, faces too close to be considered platonic. couples were leaving one by one, hand in hand with cups in the other heading upstairs to the empty rooms. someone yells out “seven minutes in heaven” so everyone not occupying a room upstairs trudges in to sit in a circle. taehyun and haseok sit across from each other, whether consciously or not, leaving the bottle to land on the two other them. 

“wow, ironic. it’s the homophobe that has to make out with a dude.” “haseok, it’s okay, you can spin again.” “yeah man, we’d get it if you can’t do it.”

never one to back down from a challenge, haseok stands up and stomps to the closet that’s big enough to be a room of it’s own, taehyun trailing behind cackling. the door closes behind them with a loud click and taehyun watches the other boy standing there, staring. “haseok seriously, we don’t have to do anything, we can just talk if you-” and he’s cut off by too chapped lips pressing against his own, dry and rough and with zero finesse but it’s earth shattering. he feels haseok’s hands wrapping around his bare waist under his cowboy vest before effectively pushing it off his shoulders. 

“so hot,” haseok whispers and taehyun’s knees almost buckle at the way his voice sounds before slamming their mouth together again. tongues press into one another, hands explore places they hadn’t been before, breaths are shared. haseok pulls away and drags his tongue across the smooth skin of taehyun’s chest, his hands ripping off haseok’s halo to grip his fingers in the locks, keeping him in place. “jesus, seokie,” and he can feel haseok crinkle his nose but he doesn’t know if it’s because of the nickname or bring the lord into this. the tongue traces down further and further and impossibly further until it’s right at taehyun’s waistline, causing him to gasp and buck his hips towards him. “haseok, what are you doing?” he pants out, trying to not get his hopes up.

“playing the game, of course,” haseok whipsers, puffs of air hitting the cooling spit on his stomach.

someone bangs on the door. seven minutes are up. haseok is standing with a smirk and he fixes his halo back onto his head and taehyun has never been religious but now he thinks he might be. the other boy presses a quick kiss to tae’s lips, whispers “my room in 10,” into his ear before petting down a stray piece of taehyun’s hair and leaving the closet. he heads right upstairs, keeping his eyes on tae the entire time, feigning stomach pains or something. and taehyun is a good boy. he waits until it’s been 10 minutes, hopes no one could see him checking the time on his phone incessantly.

running up the stairs is easy. opening the door to see haseok shirtless on his bed and not fucking him immediately is not. taehyun pushes off his vest and crawls over haseok, lets his hands slide up his sides before grabbing his face and kissing him senseless. “haseok,” another kiss, “hmmm, babe,” the pet name slips out and maybe it’s unnoticed or doesn’t offend him and tae’s okay with either. “what all are you wanting here?” the angel underneath him grins wickedly and grabs at his waist, fingernails digging just a little too hard into his bare sides, their hips grinding into one another giving them the most delicious pressure.

“everything.”

it doesn’t take too much longer until everything is off and taehyun wants to take everything the other has to offer. he’s surprised no one comes up to interrupt them with how loud the screaming is. maybe the people downstairs just think it’s some halloween soundtrack rather than taehyun getting wrapped into something he’ll never get over. 

4. the worst day of his life comes at the end of high school. taehyun is prepared for the graduation ceremony, has his speech all typed up in a font big enough that he can read it without having to strain his eyes, his suit is pressed and sleek and perfect on his body. he leaves the house early, his parents not to be seen but they’re probably already at work so he doesn’t think too much about it. the house is always more quiet in the mornings. 

but then they don’t show. he searches for their faces as he gets award after award, during his speech, when all his friends are getting flowers and praise from their own parents. it breaks him, more than he’s willing to admit, down to his very core. feels his heart shattering into millions of tiny pieces that are never going to be put back together the right way. so taehyun gets drunk. he has shot after shot until his head is almost spinning, pulls out his phone to text the guy he stupidly fell in love with.

to haseok : 20:47 - haseokieeeeee~ to haseok : 20:47 - i mis sy ou to haseok : 20:48 - whta are u doign to haseok : 20:49 - im comgin over so wait fr meeeee

the drive over to haseok’s house doesn’t take very long, his driver gets him there quickly without any hiccups except the ones coming from taehyun himself. he steps out of the car and pats his pockets down to make sure he has his pack of cigarettes on him and rings the intercom to be let into the jin household. it doesn’t take long for haseok to answer, for taehyun to slur out a “haseokie, i’m here. let me in,” and the gate opens as he hears a sigh across the intercom but he doesn’t really take it into account. doesn’t pay attention to the large amount of cars in the circle drive leading to the front door of the house. doesn’t hear the party happening in the background with fine wines and finer clothes. he makes his way up to haseok’s room, could make the walk there in his sleep with his eyes closed if he really wanted to.

“you look like shit,” haseok says and taehyun is too far gone to realize it isn’t said lovingly. he smiles, wraps his arms around haseok’s neck and brings the other in close, misses his mouth and sloppily kisses his cheek. he can feel haseok pushing him off but he can’t untangle himself from where he’s wrapped around him. needs to feel him. needs to be seen. taehyun pushes his face into haseok’s neck, runs his tongue over whatever part of his skin that he can.

“mmmm, haseok, why do you always smell this good?” he mutters drunkenly, words mixing together in way that most people wouldn’t be able to decipher but haseok is not most people. “get off,” he hisses back, pushing taehyun off harder than intended but the point gets across. taehyun stumbles, his feet betraying him and falls to floor, stares up at haseok . he has the high ground now. taehyun has never felt lower. 

“my family’s here, you dick,” haseok spits out, makes taehyun feel smaller than small. he watches as the other man straightens out his hair and suit jacket, inspecting his neck in the mirror in his room. “jesus, taehyun.” he’s angry. he’s muttering under his breath wiping any trace of taehyun off of him and all tae can do is sit there, glossy eyed, trying not to angry cry. “you smell like you drank a liquor store.”

taehyun pushes up off the ground, sniffles angrily, his brow creasing, chest puffing out. “why do you have to be so fucking mean all the time, huh?” he rubs the back of his hand across his face to wipe off the tears that had fallen even with how hard he was trying to not cry. he’s the tiniest bit taller than haseok, uses it to try and tower over him even though he feels like a speck of dirt on the bottom of haseok’s shoe. “don’t treat me like that.”

“like what, taehyun,” haseok says with a harsh laugh, as if he couldn’t be bothered to give him a real answer. “i didn’t ask you to come here. you chose to barge in like that-”

“barge in?” taehyun bites back, a laugh of his own bubbling up. “right, cause i can never just want to hang out with you? i just need-”

“what you need is someone to hold your hand and tell you everything’s okay and i’m not that.” 

the words cut deep. he can feel them cut across his skin and maybe that’s actually just his nails that he’s digging into his arms to distract him but he’s staring at haseok’s blank face and knows this is real and that he isn’t joking and he’s not with him and he can’t just go downstairs hand in hand with him and he can’t just ask haseok to hold him even though he feels like he’s falling apart and he loves him and he hates him and he needs him and he-

“you need to go. go sober up or something.” 

it’s like he’s moving in slow motion. he watches haseok open the door, head to the stairs, hears his family greet him in celebration of his big day. taehyun feels like his insides are falling out, holds himself around the middle of his stomach to keep himself in one piece. tries to convince himself that he’s okay. it doesn’t work. tries to make himself walk to the door, leave so he can sober up like haseok asked of him. it doesn’t work. tries to think of someone who he loves who hasn’t let him down in the last 10 hours. it doesn’t work. 

he’s not sure how he gets home. 

5. there’s few things taehyun loves more than getting high with haseok and fucking the lights out of him. they pull the covers over their head, letting the sweet smoke curl around them as they pass a joint back and forth, hands slow and heavy pressing into curves and crevices and feeling for the sake of feeling because they can. the air is thick with desire and smoke and the heavy breathes that come out of the two of them. they’re both fully undressed and watching each other, eyes trailing over beads of sweat that fall down chests and necks, eyes watching mouths curl around the paper, eyes watching tongues dart out to lick lips before crashing onto their own. 

it’s heady. it’s needy. it’s desperate. haseok laying on his back, taehyun perched above him, careful not to let any ash fall onto the other man’s soft skin. they’re drinking in each other like it’s their last night on earth and the weed makes it feel like it actually might be. taehyun trails two of his fingers lazily around haseok’s lips, watching as his tongue sneaks out to wrap around the tips of them, eyes locked onto one another. taehyun smirks, take a deep hit off the joint and lets it fill into his lungs. he pushes his fingers into haseok’s mouth, pressing down against his tongue as if asking him to open. he complies.

taehyun bends down, brackets his arms on either side of his head and blows the smoke into the man underneath him, brings one hand to grasp at haseok’s hair and pull his head back, the other to press the ghost of a touch against his dick. “breathe in deep, baby,” taehyun whispers, entranced. watches haseok close his mouth and take the smoke as far into him as he can. tendrils of it flow out from his nose after a few seconds and taehyun takes a deep breath of his own, slots their lips together and pushes his tongue into haseok’s mouth to chase the smoke. 

his fingers are still covered in haseok’s spit and he brings them up to his own mouth, eyes locked on each other. it’s unspoken, the answer for the way he brings them down to enter into haseok’s hole, they’ve had enough practice by now. the weed makes everything feel amplified and prepping him is no different. every move, every touch, every gasp, every sigh. it’s all too much. fucking into him is like a heavenly experience that even haseok could agree to the blasphemy of.