About this account
This is a vent account therefore there's a big TW for Eating Disorders and I highly recommend anyone who doesn't have an ED or is trying to recover to just kindly block me

#extradirty
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@throwingupbugs
About this account
This is a vent account therefore there's a big TW for Eating Disorders and I highly recommend anyone who doesn't have an ED or is trying to recover to just kindly block me

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Things I Suck At
- having an eating disorder
- not having an eating disorder
the ed urge to make all my friends and family know the importance of food and having full meals and then starve for days
Me drinking water pretending that will cancel out the cals
i understand why van gogh cut off his ear and shot himself in the middle of an open field like i get it now

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Everytime I think im recovering I realize I restrict subconsciously
Eating disorder logic
- I’m lonely I’m going to isolate myself - I’m hungry I’m going to starve - I’m full I’m going to eat - I feel enormous I’m going to binge now - I can tell I’ve lost weight I’m never eating again - I’m happy I’m going to trigger myself - I’m sad I’m going to pretend I’m fine - gum has 5 calories no - ice cream has a million calories I’m going to eat a whole 7 pints
Idk who needs this but here you go ♥️♥️♥️
someone: hey are you doing okay?
me, planning my suicide and violently self-sabotaging: yeah why

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Eat when you’re hungry
“But it’s late at night-” eat!
“But it’s the middle of the day-” eat!
“But I’ll be having lunch soon-” have lunch earlier! Or have a light snack!
“But I don’t deserve to eat” I promise you do, you deserve to eat and feel full I promise you
Eat when you’re hungry! When you’re hungry, you’re sad. And that will just add to whatever else is upsetting you at the time. Even if it’s something like popcorn or a strawberry or toast or meat and crackers or a breakfast bar, eat when you’re hungry!
*sees a tree that is decaying and covered in moss with gnarled branches and knots in all the right shapes for climbing* oh my god body goals
*accidentally starts crying*
Look man. No matter what size you force yourself to be, you will hate what you see and feel like shit. So why bother. Literally. Why bother with the constant suffering if it changes nothing about how you feel. Eat.
Eating fuels your brain. It fuels your cells to do their cellular job. If you're trying to survive on nothing you will feel like trash emotionally and physically. Why are you so fucking depressed??? Cuz your brain can't take the bullshit. Any brain surviving on XXX will 100% be a very upset brain. You can't Happy yourself out of that. You don't have the energy to do that. Fucking eat.
The biggest hurdle but the most important step to recovery, is letting go of a sick body. You NEED to gain, you need to let go of controlling your body. A healthy body is nourished. A healthy brain doesn't obsess over sizes and numbers. "It's not that simple" yes it is. Eat. Force your Ed to shut the fuck up. Cry if you need. Scream if you need. But just fucking eat. Your emotional well being, physical wellbeing, and mental health will all improve as you begin actually feeding your brain and body. Duh. Fucking duh.
Hot take but if someone "wants to have an eating disorder" then they probably already have one (and don't realize their symptoms without extremely low weight are enough reason for them to get help).
At the very least they have a disordered relationship with food and body.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming