the tulgey wood

The worst part of having a weird sleeping pattern is not that I don't sleep at night, but the mean craving for sushi that occurs sometimes. Like now. No sushi places open and even if there were, the closest one is basically 30 minutes away on the interstate. Meeeeean.

Some days... Why can't I just revert to a precious save file? Oh right, life doesn't have that function. Fucking 8-bit cartridge...

There are ghosts. Every major decision or happening leave something that lingers, mostly unnoticed. Mostly. After big regrets, the ghosts seem to reach out unseen and silently as if wanting to say "it's okay." Sometimes those unspoken words together with hope is all that's needed to let go and learn to move on. Other times, they're not heard or felt at all. The ghosts are ignored. And the regret grows larger.

I really wish the nights would be easier. Every single one this week has been stupid with anxiety and non-sleep.

It's pretty cold at nights now. Feels colder than it is too, and that's rather silly. Further more, the night anxiety is even sillier. Have tried lots of stuff but it creeps up when I get tired. So instead of sleeping, I sit/lie/whatever and tries to ignore feeling like crap. (It doesn't work.)

Restless nights. Chasing sleep by podcasts but it's slow.