Nik. Some Of My Stuff But Mainly Others Posts

Cryin on Christmas… maybe in future I might feel like I’m so much more…

I feel like I’m drowning but I’m not near water. Like there’s an anvil on my chest and tied to these feet and I can’t seem to free myself and catch my breath. There’s an earthquake within and I can’t settle my trembling hands nor eat a proper meal to calm the chaos. I’m trapped within and this body is literally fighting against me not only emotionally but literally attacking my physical and honestly it’s winning. Things in my life are on the up and up but I can’t shake this feeling. Im told to just be happy and I really wish it was that simple bc it sucks feeling guilty for being sad, unsettled and unhealthy. It’s suggested as helpful advice but it’s just adding weight to the anvil and I continue sinking further into suffocating darkness.