The Practice of Gratitude

>> I’m thankful for social media for allowing me a place to express myself as often or as little as I want. Somewhere that acts like a timeline of my life through pictures. I’ve always loved taking pictures of anything and everything of my life, even before social media was a thing. People hate on social media and instagram all the time and I feel bad that they haven’t experienced a platform that allowed them to be who they were when everyone around them told them they were wrong.

I’m thankful for people who keep their word. Despite all the mess behind us I’m thankful that one thing has remained --- we just want to make sure the other person is okay. I’m thankful that even though I was the most psycho bitch to this person he still will message me asking how my day was or if I’m good. I know he worried the most when he was in another country and leaving me in the hands of someone he didn’t trust. We both had to grow up at some point and let go of the other person no matter how much we didn’t want to. Sometimes life does that --- forces you to let go and go into the world alone because time is up. But you know me, I’m always happy.

--- FFXIV --- My support system --- My Bubba <3

Day 1 • 21 Happy Leap Year! So far I'm taking 4 chances and it still doesn't feel enough!

Day 1/21 Yes, we're starting over... again. I missed too many days. Been sick from med withdrawal and that was NOT fun. Finally starting to feel more human today. • I'm thankful for phone calls from my mama • I'm thankful for my meds even though without them I would hurt • I'm thankful for music that sings to my soul I remember the last time I had this track on HEAVY REPEAT was during my first really big break up and I played it out so fast but I literally felt these lyrics, like I do now... if this isn't my happy ending then what is? But that break up taught me SO MUCH about myself, about the difference between being strong and weak, about how to respect myself, and that as much as it sucks some people don't belong in your life and that's okay. You will be okay. Yes it will suck and the hurt might consume you into some deep dark place but you always have a choice and you know what? There is someone out there who will love you in a way you would never imagine. There is someone out there who is WAITING for you and as hard as it is to believe, there is someone who isn't M that's out there waiting to love you and be there for you and PROTECT you and take care of you in ways you wouldn't expect. So slow down darling, it might hurt now but the best is yet to come.

• I’m thankful that at the end of the day, I really am one lucky girl.

Day 6/21 Goodness I somehow forgot the access to this account! I seriously need to get my shit together. It's MLK DAY! I grew up listening to his speech but I'm not gonna lie, I don't think I know it word for word. • I am thankful for inspirational people to look up to. That never gave up on their vision. • I'm thankful for the fact this is pretty much my last class at UoP (THANK GOODNESS) • I'm excited to retouch my hair tomorrow. Now I just have to pick a color!

I snapped this with my Canon Rebel T5 using the main lens it came with. It came with another but I haven't even taken that out of the box. Truth is I don't know the difference between the two (maybe if I tested it out I would....) and I don't know how to disable the flash. It drives me nuts. Also I slightly regret not getting the T5i instead since when I film I can't see the view finder. I still need to find like a mirror sticker or something to put on my wall when I film. Shouldn't be too hard. But I'm having fun learning and playing with this camera I've been avoiding for so long!

Two or so more weeks at UoP and I'll be DONE with UoP forever. I've been there for five years guys. Seriously. It's getting old haha. And I'm not learning what I want to be learning, my program doesn't even exist anymore and their online system really annoys me. I love my advisors and I'm going to miss them so much!! Five years of talks and laughs and jokes and memories....! Thank you Janice for everything you've put up with (cause I know it was a lot haha)! And thank you June for your never ending excitement when I told you I got into the Disney CP program and all your help with making sure it would be smooth sailing as far as school went. And thank you Michelle for just everything. You guys are the best and I will miss you 3 so so much!

• Having a bestbrotherfriend like B. Happy Birthday, I miss you!

Day 2/21 I always find this fascinating when I'm staring at my MD's bookcase. I find anything having to do with neuroscience interesting. • Year round Peppermint Fapps • Funny snarky cards from my mom • Digging through the $1 section at Target with all its spring and valentines day stuff

That T-Mobile fixes EVERYTHING. THANK YOU for fixing a problem you didn't even start just to make my life easier!

21/5 Okay this isn't all that positive but hey, it's life. • Getting my interest back in photography • Hearing Wishes tonight and every night, I will seriously miss this • My strength to walk away from something I never wanted to lose and even though I may trip and stumble, just knowing I made the hardest choice I could make instead of pretending takes a lot of courage. "If Brittney Spears survived 2007, you can get through this." "You survived the abuse, you can survive the recovery."

21/4 • Coming home to find this cutie in a box for me from my mom with a sweet letter • Having friends that will endure really uncomfortable doctor appts with you like it's no big deal • Being a little addicted to the feeling of the needle piercing into my skin Doc: No new partners? Me: No, at least not on my end. JP: Good answer, good answer! Me: Why, thank you.

Why can’t he just make it better? Sometimes it’s no use to wish. Sorry Blue Fairy and Jimmy, not this time.

Black Cherry Gelato