thoughts of an empath

I serve, I provide, I aid, I talk with them, and while I don't mind being helpful, even maternal at times (I do have a child after all) I feel like there's some kind of codependency and then discarding going on. Like they rely on me for certain things. But then when it comes to like common sense or manners, they don't show me consideration.

For example, we went out for sushi the other day, and when it came to the end of the meal I excused myself to the restroom. While I was in there, they all order dessert. Like how rude is that? Shouldn't you wait till everyone is present? I was taken back by that. One of them lied and said that I said I didn't want dessert.

No one asked me first of all, and secondly I talked about getting red bean mochi if they had it.

Then we had an outing over the weekend in which I tagged them in all the photos on Instagram. they completely ignored the tag/shout out

Then I get this bullshit that "oh I just saw it." "Oh I already liked it" You are both on your phone all day long. Like seriously all day long. Your ringtones are loud and your glued to it so I'm not buying that. You straight out ignored me

Then we go to a really nice place on Saturday which had a beach and a lookout point by the Hudson. I'm super excited to bring one of my friends there and he just played pokémon go the whole time. I brought it up a few times how excited I was to show him. But it seemed like the game is more important.

Thank God it wasn't a date. I'd be so insulted.

And that's why I feel invisible. They've been really shitty lately and all I've been trying to do is make sure everyone has a good time.

Sometimes people say and do things that makes you want to take space from them. It could be an off-putting remark, an action that disturbs your values, an inconsiderate decision, whatever it may be

Maybe you have tried to communicate how you feel to this person, but it seems hopeless because they are stuck in their ways. Maybe they are in denial or maybe they just have no self-awareness at all.

In any case, you sense something off and you know that being around this person can affect your mental health in a negative way. So you take space. (This is a lot different than giving someone the cold shoulder silent treatment or stonewalling)

The other person might have a problem with you taking a space but you have to realize this is not for them it's for you.

Space allows you to think and process your values and boundaries. It's not a personal attack. It's not spite.

At the end of the day you can't police people on how to respect you the way you want. You can't make them talk how you want to be talk to, you can't make them consider your feelings.

You can however limit the exposure you have with a unhealthy person. You're allowed to breathe and assess your roles with them.