yara

like i said, nothing significant had happened between us. in fact, we were hardly interacting at all and then one day, i found out that she had removed me from her instagram.

it might seem silly to be upset over being removed from someone's instagram, but just listen. in the day and age of social media, apps like instagram are what keep us connected, isn't it? it's one of the main ways in which i keep up with my friends, and check in on what i've been missing. i've definitely removed people from my instagram, but they were toxic ex-friends and i'd rather not have them knowing what's happening in my life. so when this friend of mine removed me, she put me on the receiving side. she didn't want me to know what was going on in her life, or what she was thinking, or anything like that. and that hurt me, because we don't have any bad blood between us.

i'm sure i sound super sensitive from how being removed from her instagram hurt me, but the truth is that i am super sensitive. i'm super sensitive and quite the empath, and i would love some closure as to why it happened the way it happened.

unfortunately, the biggest truth of life is that things end. sometimes you can see it coming, other times you have virtually no idea. sometimes you get the closure you deserve, and other times you have to move on without receiving any. and you try to move on, and pretend like it doesn't bother you when you think of them, someone you cared for so much. but it does.

earlier in the year, i had many friendships come to an end over some silly rumours that a "friend" of mine started spreading about me. it ruined many things, including my friendships and my mental health. it got to the point where i had to transfer out of the school. this "friend" even went as far as to make my other friends text me nasty things, calling me manipulative and a horrible person.

the funny thing was, they never came from her. she never had the courage to say them to my face. it was like she had these minions who were doing all the work of belittling me, while she hid behind them. the whole situation was so absurd.

sometimes, i wish it had gone differently. i wish these friendships never had to end. but what i've realized is that, if i didn't know she was the toxic person that she pretended not to be, would i had still stayed her friend? would i have ignored it, and happily gone on with my life?

i would've. and that's why it's important to me that she revealed her toxicity so that i could free myself. and for that, i have no regrets.

but it's different from this more recent friendship ending, isn't it? the one with my toxic ex-friend lasted only a few months, while this friendship lasted a whole six years. it's almost impossible to act like it doesn't hurt me, when it clearly does.