just a random blog with thoughts

hello and good evening pep´s I´m still on vacation and so my boyfriend is, he wil come back after I am home again and so my diary goes on! :) (for understanding the diary thing: read my lastb post) - TODAY, it´s gonna be about my room and a wall in it. Sounds boring, and to paint it white was, too. But just to tell you: I love calligraphy, and so I painted a sentence on it. "as long as we are under the same sky" but what does that mean... As long as you and someone else are under the same sky, you both aren´t really apart, and there´s a possibillity to meet again and to be physically together again. As long as you both are under the same sky, your souls are together and bound. You´re not completely alone. As long as you are under the same sky, you can´t really be elft by each other. and yes, sure you may feel alone, and think that the other one is gone, but remember that nothing is forever, and that´s why you both won´t be apart forever. That´s a fact, you´re able to be together again. - And I don´t knw why I´m telling this.. have a nice day :)

helloo again. Yes I´m really active atm, I´m still on holiday and got much time. I hope youre doing good :) - I´ve looked through my blog a little and found an older post about my ex-Best-oyfriend. We have been in the same class until the begin of the holidays (about threee weeks ago) and that´s when we´ve last seen each other. What I forgot to tell: Well, after our fights, we had about three weks of space, and then we started talking again. I mean, like friends do, in a normal way. First, I wasn´t sure if he was just using me because sometimes he stopped answering me, but then we started texting again. I don´t know how it happened, but I think we became close friends again, we talk about problems (mostly his because Im still too scared that he´s talking behind my back) and laugh about jokes. We sat next to each other in the bus to a trip with the class and talked, and we had really much fun. It feels so good that we´re friends again, because I noticed that I really need him. We shouldn´t come to close, I think that´s why we argued that much before we "broke up" and it´s just good the way it is. But I´m afraid to get hurt again... but maybe a lil distance is good. - Good night Peeps :)) XOXO

Hello Peep´s, tbh, I don´t have a nam for this post, and usually, I alays find one. But toda, Idk how to put everything I want to wite in one title. This text is like a real personal one, and I don´t even know if I´´m able to find the right words because my mind is a mess I can´t tidy up. - Have you ever had a situation when you wanted to talk to someone and really feel the need to, not because there´s something important to tell, just because yu´d like to talk about anything WITH THIS PERSON Normally, it´s okay for me to wait for a person, but when I get a quick text like "half an hour, then we can talk" after hours of waiting for an answer, I start to feel replaced by whatever. LIke "wow, thank you for taking time, no need to hurry mate, I haven´t been waiting like...uhm...THE WHOLE DAY" I know that it´s acc not the person´s fault, but sometimes I start to wonder about those situations. I mean, a text like "sorry, can we talk later" during the waiting time would be perfect, but normally, there comes NOTHING. And yeahh I know, I also put my phone away and leave for a couple hours, but I´m telling that I´ll be busy. ANd yes sure, it´s okay to not have time. I hope someone understands my problem. The thing is that I first yell at the person why I´m not worth a short message, but then I apologize and say that it was stupid to be mad about real normal thing. But at the same time, I still feel a lil mad bcs I still feel replaced even though I know I´m not. That´s the struggle of my life, end of story. - And here´s a quick funfact: I wastexting my boyfriend and he wasn´t replying, and when he did, exactly what I wrote happened. I decided to text back "Ok" and leave my phone in my room and go write a blog entry because this gives me chills. So basically, He might´ve already texted me back and I´m doing exactly the same wahat I´m so mad about. Yep, I need to chill because I miss him and want to text him all the time but we both have things to do. So that´s why I´ve written this stupid text. - I´m sorry that anyone has read this stupid teenie struggles shit, I might have stolen You a lot of time, soryyy :( Anyway, Have a good night people!

hello people, I haven´t written for some time again, even though I wanted to tell you abot a thing I am doing while my boyfriend´s on vacation. - When I was still in my hometown, I decided to write a diary of the days we won´t see each other while he´s camping and I´´m.. yeah, in different places. I took his notebooks (he showed me the only note in this book, so it´s not private for me) and I started to write an entry on every day. Normaly I´m bad at diaries, but this time it´s different. I feel the need to write those enties, because I think it could be interesting for him to see what´s going on in my head. I´m a normal human and that´s why I don´t always tell everything from my mind. Maybe he´ll like to read that, and maybe he will know me better after. But sure it could also go completely wrong, he could be very bored of it or just not intersted in my mind. I don´t know, but for me, it turned out as a nice method to clear up my mind and feel better. And that´s why I think he might read the whole 23 pages for every day he´s gone. I´m pretty excited about his reaction, tbh. - Hope you´re doing great, good night people :))

hello y´all it´s been a while, but now I´ve got very much time to write some stuff. My boyfriend is on a camping trip with his family, his best girlfriend and her family, for a few weeks, and tbh I´ve got nothing to do in the evenings, I´ve never watched so much Netflix, now you got random knowledge about my holidays so far. I spend much time at the barn and try not to think about him too much as long as I´m still in my hometown without him. (I know, it´s not realy working tbh) I feel like I´ve looked through the whole sinstagram platform, and Snapchat is boring as long as no one sends you snaps. Fact: social media makes no ones life a better one, exept Tumblr. Writing is exactly what´s good for my mind in a situation like this, where I´m sitting in my dark room with my phone, fluffx socks, my notebook, music or Netflix and his sweater on. Idk if this is a good idea. I´ve got a method to distract myself, and I noticed that it´s not really distracting me, it actually helps me to realize how I feel. I´ll write about this "method" in a few days, it´s a bit too much to explain it all today. - Let´s stop to talk only about me, I should stop telling shit no one wants to know, I´m sorry, I´m complicated and talking too much. XOXO

It's time to change things! I used to have a wall full of pictures, the oldest ones were from 2015, four years ago. Two weeks ago I decided to take the pictures off, now theres only a wall with some lights. I threw most photos away, but I wrote something on the back of the ones I kept. While I wrote, I flew back into those times long ago. I felt all those moments again, what a feeling. I was in tears when I finished, but it was worth it. It's the same when I hear old music I listened to about three years ago. I love to memorize beautiful things. How about you?

I want him to apologize.

He talks rude about me, idk what to do tbh.

This is my book where I write my shit. It's actually the most secret thing I own, I've barely shown things to someone.

"Be a part of the journey or don't, but let it be forever, however you decide"

I mean wtf?

I absolutely hate this. Why can't I just be 18?

I'm strong and independent and stronger without some persons.

Love <3

-My boyfriend