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Angel on my left shoulder telling me to do good. Devil on my right shoulder telling me to do bad. Rat on my head teaching me how to cook

Fuck small talk.  Let’s talk about how your day was, the weather, or the big game last night.

must feel so good to be soil absorbing rain

no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?

sometimes when i go for a walk i look at the sky and realize that i really love earth & nature like i just get this really nice feel. i love it

straight up 'unforchin it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. my circumstants

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

google used to know what i was talking about

one thing about me is that i will go on your blog and look around

Ken was created from Barbie’s rib

my aunt is watching some generic daytime tv talkshow and the hosts are very cheerfully going "yknow this AI thing isnt actually as cool as i thought it was- i keep noticing the google overview getting facts wrong! isnt that weird?" and its very funny watching regular middle aged people finally catch on. we did it lads it took long enough.

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving