They call me Thomas Pennypinch!

can i say a bad word or will you gentlefolk get mad at me

friendly advice: NEVER take a stranger's wallet. it is RUDE. you should be so kind as to develop a polite acquaintanceship with your mark before picking any pence

find my riches!

snuck into the menagerie once in hopes id see a some great exotic beast. all they had was a stupid elephant! i see elephants every day! willy trunker of the soho newsies is an elephant! big softie he is. participated in a parade once or twice. anyway they spotted me after i slipped between the bars of the chim pan Z cage. said no more thomas at the menagerie :/

it's not easy being thomas! the other day i ate a loverly apple i found on the ground and proceeded to get some sort of disease so strange and potent that i quickly fell into fever, and then had a dream in which the disease and i were fighting with swords. the disease was an awesome and dreadful iron knight, but i was just regular old thomas pennypinch with a sword! anyway, i tricked 'im with a series of clever feints and jukes, and barely won in the end. and when i awoke, my fever had broken! what a ride. please leave a tip if you enjoyed my tale xoxo