the war inside my brain

     in the aftermath of his own orgasm he was in a bit of a haze. the first in his veins was subsiding - though for how long was anyone’s guess - and he was enjoying the buss of completion. connor was dangerously vivid in his his dreamlike state, standing out against the nondescript background of his room. jake’s attention was hyper focused on the fingers brushing through his hair and the breathy tone of his voice. the ginger couldn’t remember ever being so sexually satisfied or having returned the favor for that matter. “i’d be better if you weren’t so far out of reach,” he teased. he could have easily pulled connor back against him but that wasn’t the point. jake told him he got to control the situation and he wasn’t going to take that away now. even if he was of sound judgment for the time being he knew his heat could change things.  however close connor allowed himself to get, it would be entirely his decision.

     it was ridiculous, but that was the life of an actress and sidney accepted it. there weren’t nearly as many opportunities to play a character that didn’t involve being the love interest as she would have liked. this show was an exception. sure she was tied to timer’s character but it had been a natural development. neither of them were defined by the relationship and yet it still gave the production heart. who didn’t want to be part of that kind of writing? it helped that they got on well and the crew wasn’t forcing them together. no matter how hard she tried, sidney was sure she couldn’t fake this sort of chemistry. “then i guess i’ll just have to be careful casanova,” she grinned. they hadn’t been given much direction about the scene, just let it happen. the brunette hadn’t been worried about that until the cameras started rolling. there was a sudden tinge of anxiousness that hit her and sidney was grateful the scene called for it. fake sex wasn’t that big of a deal, was it? she closed the door behind her back pressed against the wood as if to be as far from him as possible. “i saw you with her and i...” sidney stopped, hoping the delivery didn’t seem to fake. “i’m tired of pretending...” the line went on but sidney cut it short. they said just go with it and for a brief moment she felt brave enough to do this her way. sidney crossed the room, settling beside him and making the first move. “i don’t want to be just friends,” she breathed, pressing her lips to his.

The thought of her caring enough to want to fit in made Simran roll her eyes. She had been judged as an outsider most of her life. Nothing she did would ever change where she’d come from, so what was the point in trying to conform? She could never be like River and his family - neither could the clothes of her homeland. If anything the garment would be wasted on the unappreciative American public who couldn’t appreciate it for what it was. They’d diminish it with the word exotic or not even have the decency to explain the style. They’d mince it down to traditional or miscredit it as a sari. She couldn’t decide which was more annoying. “If we weren’t committed to loathing each other I might confess it’s cute the way you try.” If he thought she didn’t notice he was more naive than Simran expected. River had made an effort, more of one than she’d offered, and they’d come to an impasse because of it. Only now that h was no longer willing to try and she was just starting to. It was a complication neither of them needed but if this went to hell at least they couldn’t blame it all on her. “What’s to be on the menu?” Simran wasn’t entirely sure if this was a test but a life time in the tabloids taught her many things. First and foremost that shock came in many forms. Playing the part for his sake could be just as unsettling as drunkenly stumbling in and she was eager to see the response her mild cooperation got. “Nothing too posh I hope? Unless you were the sort of uni boys that ate caviar and played poker. I might have to reconsider if you were.” She’d had enough of that lot to last a lifetime. 

     eva crossed one leg over the other, leaning into him affectionately. it didn’t matter that they were practically strangers. in a matter of speaking she owned him and she suspected that was exactly what tristan wanted. otherwise, why would he have shown her what he did? he’d been looking for someone to confide in and now eva was here to show him the attention he craved. “for starters, why don’t you take a deep breath. nothing bad is going to happen, not while i’m around.” if eva excelled at anything it was damage control. she was more than capable of keeping this secret for them both. “and a kiss would be nice, just here on the cheek. perfectly innocent affection.” 

     One moment he was criticizing her spending habits and the next he was questioning her thriftiness. Simran wished he would just make up his mind about what he wanted from her. River’s mixed messages were getting old and only made it more difficult to find common ground. She didn’t have any interest in truly making this work but at the very least they didn’t have to hate each other. Or maybe hating each other was the only way they could endure it. Simran wasn’t sure she wanted to know. “It’s a beautiful garment but wasted here. American fashion is so mundane.” There were exceptions to the rule of course but nothing compared to the traditional clothes of back him. “A proper salwar suit would be nice though,” she considered it for a long moment. Her parents had always been particular about embracing the American lifestyle. They said it was the only way they would succeed. Simran had always disagreed on that fact. There were times when she wished they’d never left India. That little girl would have been disappointed in this woman. “If it’s world domination we’re after then I suppose my choice is made up.” Simran knew a destructive choice like that would never be good for them but it was still entertaining to consider. At least for a moment it didn’t matter what everyone else would approve of. Dark eyes studied him curiously, trying to discern what answer he was hoping for. If River wanted her gone he wouldn’t have mentioned it but he didn’t exactly seem invested in the idea of her sticking around either. “Well,” she offered casually, “there’s nothing I enjoy more than meeting new people.” Simran was genuine in her answer. She truly was a people person and capable of making great first impressions when it suited her. Plus she was curious what sort of things she could learn about River. “It could be fun.”

     Simran wasn’t exactly annoyed that he thought he knew her. She had made the same assumptions about him. Still, no matter what conclusions he came to, it didn’t mean he knew everything about her. River Definitely didn’t know what she liked. If someone asked he’d probably saying drinking and parties which barely scratched the surface of who she was. “Try me. There has to be something that we can agree on.” Simran wasn’t going to hold her breath but anything was possible. “It’s a traditional Pakistani dress. Beautiful fabric, intricate embroidery.” She spoke about it in a dreamy sort of way. If there was one thing she missed about living back home in Mumbai it was the clothes. American fashion left so much to be desired. “Good to know you think so highly of me,” she laughed, learning over to slap him playfully. Simran couldn’t remember the last time they spoke so freely. She supposed she had herself to blame for that, not that she’d admit it. Over the last several months the brunette had spent so much time trying to escape him and their marriage she never stopped long enough to get to know him. Simran didn’t mean to be so but taking the time felt too much like giving in. She took another drink of wine, looking over him at her glass with an air of confusion. Had she just heard him properly? “I wouldn’t mind meeting some of your friends.” She said genuinely. “Would you like me around?” They were his friends and the choice was on River’s shoulders. Simran might have been going back on her word tonight but she wasn’t going to invite herself where she wasn’t welcome. 

     “Do you love anything? Other than your job and long vacations from me?” Given the common thread she was certain his answer would be equally uninspiring. Dark eyes followed him as he moved to sit by her, slightly off put by the ease of it. They spent so much time dancing circles around each other when she was sober. What changed now? “Parineeti has the final fitting for her Anarkali suit and then we’re going to her father’s home in Goa for a few days,” she answered. His second question wasn’t so willingly received but she applauded him for adding it all the same. She couldn’t be the only one taking shots. “I was thinking of applying at the Playboy Mansion or maybe Girls Gone Wild?” She couldn’t have been further from serious. Though Simran’s antics attracted a lot of attention she’d never do anything to purposely upset him or her family. Drunken stupidity was one thing, soft core porn wasn’t nearly as forgivable. Despite what most of them wanted to believe Simran wasn’t stupid. She had gone to a good university and gotten God marks. The brunette was capable of thriving in River’s world. What she lacked was the desire to prove her own competence. If people started to believe that Simran could take care of herself then they’d stop making excuses for her antics. She’d be cut off from the wealth that she’d suffered for and be relegated to the same robotic routine as River. The brunette didn’t see any reason to rush into that.

    Gael’s attention didn’t remain there long. It was impossible to know how much time they’d have together before someone was bound to disrupt and he wanted to make the most of it. His left hand moved down over Catherine’s stomach, gently tugging at her shift so it bunched up around her thighs and exposed her womanhood. “Our first and most important lesson. You do not need a man to do for you, what you can do for yourself.” Taking his niece’s hand he pressed it against the slickness between her thighs, guiding Catherine’s fingers to rub lightly over her clit. 

      crystal stemware was grasped between perfectly manicured nails, champagne spilling past lips painted modest pink. she looked perfect, smiled pretty, and said all the right things. if only her inner monologue matched the flawless facade she was putting forward. maybe then this wouldn’t be so difficult to stomach. reagan knew that she was being childish. this was her best friend’s wedding! she should have been happy for her, and yet, she couldn’t convince her air of nonchalance to go beyond superficial. best friends didn’t date each other’s exes, they certainly didn’t marry them. if it had been anyone other than him the brunette might have been able to get over it. might have been able to ignore the underhanded way this all went down. unfortunately it was hard to ignore the knife digging into her back. why was she even invited to this thing? reagan sighed as the band began to play put your head on my shoulder. she refused to be that girl sitting on the outskirts, longing after some guy who had moved on. there had to be someone else she could entertain herself with, if only to distract from them. moving across the ballroom reagan got up the nerve to approach the best man. “care to dance?” if he shut her down now she was going home. the brunette had been humiliated enough for one night.

     “Indeed. It was wonderfully refreshing,” she replied. An oversized shirt that clearly wasn’t hers clung to Simran’s form as she sprawled out across the chaise. A bottle of wine sat on the table next to her, rounding out her seemingly low key evening. Raising her glass to River in a mildly taunting manner she smiled. “Care for a drink? This is a beautiful Sauternes.” Even before he spoke she knew what the answer would be but that didn’t stop her. If he wanted to be a buzzkill that was on him. Simran might have agreed to relax for the evening but she certainly wasn’t going to slow down. As far as Sim was concerned there were plenty of useable hours left in the day and there was no point in wasting them sleeping. Of course it was only a matter of time before River did exactly that. Then she was free to slip out for the night and meet up with her friends. So long as she waited until he was gone to come home then River would be none the wiser. He wanted peace and quiet after all. Letting her leave was the surest way of getting that. “All packed I take it? Everything exactly in its place.”

     watching the scene unfold before him was more overwhelming than jake had been prepared for and he blamed his heat for how worked up connor got him. it wasn’t that he was an inattentive lover but this felt different than in the past. jake was overly aware of each movement the omega made. so aware that it felt like at any attention given to the sheets below him was a betrayal. he moaned brokenly as connor’s fingers tangled in them, wishing they had found they’re way to his hair or raked across his chest. it was just unfair really. then he started milking jake through his orgasm and he realized it was for the best connor kept his hands to himself. jake couldn’t have handled the sensory overload. he clung to the omega as he felt his own orgasm shudder through him. the ginger pulled free, just enough that his knot couldn’t take. connor was a nice guy but he didn’t agree to that. “fuck!” jake declared, sinking into the bed beneath him. his hands found their way to connor’s back, running over it soothingly to slow how own racing heart. “i think you might be the death of me,” he teased.

     a performer, he could work with that. if there was anything that maverick appreciated it was another person’s ability to put on a show. he did it every night and it paid well, though mav got the feeling she couldn’t say the same. he wondered what her name was and her reason for being there. had a boyfriend put her on her knees for other men? did she choose this for herself? either was possible and he couldn’t decide which was hotter. he liked the idea of stealing her away from someone but if this was self imposed, it meant her potential was still untapped. “you thirsty sweetheart? yeah i bet you are.” maverick took his thumb away, undoing his pants and pushing them down around his thighs as he pulled out his cock. teasingly he slapped it against her tongue, giving her hope but not fulfillment just yet. he’d never got the chance to play with someone like her and he wanted to savor it. with a curious grin he tanged his slick fingers through her hair and forced his length down her throat to test the brunette’s gag reflex. it didn’t matter if she had one, he’d enjoy it either way. he just wanted to see how pliable she was. the warmth of her mouth had him licking his lips in approval and he thought it was only fair to reward her for her compliance. with relative ease he let go of his bladder, pouring his piss down her throat. 

     “That is a lofty promise priy.” Simran didn’t question it. She had absolute faith that he was capable of being resolute. Anything short of his rigid adherence to the expected and socially acceptable would be wildly out of character. It was boring, that was true, but if there was one good thing about River it was his dependability. She never had to wondering where he was or when he’d be back. He moved through life like clockwork. It might have been a bit endearing if it wasn’t so sad. Simran couldn’t imagine living such an empty life. “You are impossible. You’re going to run yourself into the ground until you can’t function and then I’ll be the one who has to pick up the pieces.” She had seen it happen to her father. He worked relentlessly day in and day out, too busy worrying about others to take care of himself. Then one winter he got really sick and none of the people he provided for stopped long enough to ask if he was okay. None of them bothered to take care of him. Simran wondered if it would be like that for River too. Would anyone notice if he was barely hanging on? Would they stop their lives to do right by him? She supposed it was her business now but the brunette shrugged off such a serious topic. The last thing she needed was for him to think she cared. “Don’t disrupt your packing on my account.” Simran was more than capable of finding her own towel. She wasn’t nearly as helpless as he suspected.