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Haven’t posted in a while because life has been pretty good to me but I find myself up late at night again missing the days when I was younger. I remember all of the stupid shit and fun memories I had and it’s almost like my life now has become so boring that I just keep wondering what I’ve become or have been reduced to. Life has been good to me these past few years but that doesn’t stop the consistent battling of overthinking in my head when I can’t sleep at night. What bothers me the most is remembering nights with all of my friends together and now some of them are so different and have grown apart from their roots that I don’t think I even recognize them anymore. I feel like after what happened 3 years ago changed me so drastically that I can’t let myself even breathe or do anything fun in fear of more things going wrong for me and it kind of sucks. I just want to feel alive again in a sense that I’m not afraid to live like I used to when I was a teenager. My life situation over the years never seemed to stop getting worse and one day it did get better, so some might say I’m at an all time high with limited stress and a steady situation now, but as a person, I feel like I’m almost at an all time low, or a shell of who I am as a person. I can’t say I know the answer to my problems, but I sure as hell hope I find something soon.
