‽☆*•'I don't have to prove myself to you'▪︎"☆¡

Your body has always been the bane of your existence, you've always looked down and frowned at what you saw. Today was no different, ryan has been on tour for what feels like a decade now, and now that you have nothing else to do.

your brain began to flood with those thoughts you've been pushing away. When ryan was here reassurance was enough to keep you eating 1 to 2 balanced meals when you can. Despite not being in such a low weight. Ryan did infact worry. You pulled yourself out of your bed. You haven't eaten for 3 days, by then the hunger completely vanished.

Your energy crashing down and your body nothing more than a hollow shell. Your eyes spoke the truth. Dark circles underneath your eyes and a slumped walk. You pulled on a pair of shorts and a shirt on your body after stepping out of the shower. The kitchen fell empty after Ryan's leave.

You couldn't wait for life to come back into this house. But you knew this wasn't going to fix you so easily. You sighed as you sat on the chair, cup of milk in hand that you've already counted the calories for. On usual normal days, when things aren't so bad. You find yourself counting calories way less.

But on hollow days when there's nobody around, and there's nothing to do. Your brain falls back into its only sense of control. It's only sense of security. And you can't seem to slip out of it until you know for sure. That your not alone. And even then that state of mind is always there, always letting you know that you should count those calories and burn them off. You took a sip from your drink as you walked off.

Pacing around thinking about what you should do for today. But once again, whatever you thought of was weighed down with the feeling of this low level of energy. Everything felt blurry, nothing made sense.

Your brain felt like it was eating itself out of hunger. And yet that stomach of yours had not felt what hunger feels in a day or so. You decide to slip back into bed, and prayed that ryan would walk through that door... your eyes felt heavier than ever. Slowly closing as you drifted into a state of sleep...

and before you knew it, that gentle voice was back again. Ryan shook you gently. Rubbing his hand on your shoulder. Just the fact you heard his voice made your brain perk up. "Hey.. why are you still asleep pretty girl" those names.. that smile.

You opened your eyes to him sitting next to you on the bed, "what's wrong are you fel-" despite being so exhausted, you used all that energy you had to pull your body up and embrace him with a hug, you pulled him down, laying back down as he hovered over your body, laying on top of your chest as you begin to cry. Those cries you wanted to let out from all the frustration. Those cries you've mustered up because all those bad memories and bad days.

"Hey hey.. your okay.." he whispered into your ear.. you felt relief and sadness, maybe even happiness but you knew for sure you felt safe. He pulls off of you, laying next to you on the bed, on his side. You turn to your side aswell. Facing him as you struggle to keep yourself together.

"Whats wrong? You know you can talk to me right." You covered your face with your hands as you sobbed, pulling your legs to your stomach. "Dont look at me, I look horrid." "No way.. not a day have you looked horrid baby"

He gently pulled your hands off, you looked at him, sniffling as you struggled to stop those hiccups that washed over you each time you cried. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen." He stroked your face, brushing those tears away from your face, he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer as you breathed in the scent of his clothes, ryan never failed to smell good, let alone look good, but the smell of him.

Just assured you even more that you weren't hallucinating from all that brain fog. "Have you eaten?" Your snapped back into your senses and you knew for a fact you can't lie if you wanted things to stop being so bad. You felt your throat close up for a minute.

Your lungs felt like they collapsed. You breathed in the scent of his shirt one more time before replying. "I haven't....in a few days.." deep down you knew his fear simply intensified. His worry getting worse. But he didn't let go. If anything. His grip around your body tightened.

And he held you impossibly close. You closed your eyes and let your thoughts wonder for a bit. "You're gonna be okay.. yeah? You'll be okay. I'm here." You barely noticed the fact you began crying again. His hand rubbed at your back. "Let's get you something to eat yeah?"

You nodded, but in the back of your mind you wanted to yell. You wanted to run away. No way were you gonna eat. Not after this progress not after the control you felt. You wanted to refuse letting go of the only thing you had control of.

But your forced a nod despite that. Ryan was infact, very dear to you. You made your way downstairs following ryan as he made his way to the kitchen. Rummaging through it in a desperate act to find something to eat. "There's barely anything. How about pizza?" He turned to you.

A smile, you can never get enough of. It's contagious. You smiled back. And even though he knew you might not want to nod for that. That smile was enough to let him know you were willing to try..

"Come on, one more slice yeah?" He urged you, chewing at his own pizza before swallowing. You went as far as eating two. That was enough for you. Despite it not being the best choice of food after not eating for 3 days.

You felt better knowing things might be fine after a while. "You're still exhausted?" You put the crust of the pizza down. "Yeah, even though I slept it wasn't really....without you? You know.." he smiled at you. Closing the lid for the pizza box. "I'll come to bed." You nodded. Getting up and making your way to your bed.

You pulled your shirt off of you. And your shorts off. Slipping on a tank top you always sleep in and headed to bed. You slipped the blanket on your body.. this was the safest you've ever felt. The best you've ever felt.

Ryan grunts as he slipped into the bed, covering both of you once again. His arms found your waist and he pulled you closer. Your back against your chest. "Ryan."

"Mhm?" You blinked awkwardly. Unsure of what you actually wanted to say. "Am I making your life difficult.. for being. This way?"

"Your making my life impossibly beautiful. And full of emotions so good I never thought I'd feel. Okay?" He kissed your cheek. Shoving his head in the crook of your neck. You smiled to yourself. Letting the exhaustion take you out again. But this time. You were in the arms of someone you loved. And that felt much less lonely.

    It had been a hard couple of days at the recording studio for Ryan, all the stress to drop a new album piling up on him making him more tense than usual.

He hated everything he was writing and recording. So much so that the band had already scrapped an album they were almost finished with for a new start, but still, nothing was coming together.

As much as you cared about Ryan, you couldn't deny the fact that some sick part of you liked when he was mad. Not because you liked seeing him upset, but because of how rough he would fuck you when he was frustrated.

"Are you sure we have enough time?" You asked hesitantly, your eyes scanning the recording studio before glancing at the closed door. Your fingers fumbling with the buttons of Ryan's shirt, hurriedly unbuttoning it before slipping it off.

"Quit thinking about that. We'll be fine." Ryan mumbled, a slight hint of annoyance and impatience in his voice as his hands ran up your back, underneath your shirt making you shiver.

"Besides, the doors locked anyway." Ryan continued, not giving you time to respond before slipping your shirt off over your head, allowing it to fall to the ground along with his.

His hand trailed up your bare back before reaching your hair, his fingers threading through the strands as he yanked it roughly, forcing you to turn your head just enough so he could whisper into your ear.

"Just don't make too much noise and we'll be fine."

His breath was warm against your neck, contrasting the cold studio room making you shudder.

You hadn't seen him this stressed in ages. Maybe it was all the interviews he had lined up for the week, or his inability to come up with lyrics. Whatever it was, it didn't matter. All that mattered to you was helping him relax.

"You want it, don't you?" Ryan mumbled against your neck, pressing a kiss against it before sucking harshly and biting it, his tongue flicking out and running over the bite to soothe it, causing your body tense under his touch.

As Ryan spoke, his hand found its way to yours, guiding your hand to his hardened cock which strained painfully against the zipper of his pants, allowing you to feel how hard he was.

You let out a shaky exhale of approval, your hand lightly palming his erection mindlessly, causing him to suck in a sharp breath. "Tell me you fucking need it. Beg for me to fuck you."

Your breath caught in your throat as you tried your best not to let out a needy moan at his words. "Fuck, Ryan.. Please. I need it, so fucking bad." You begged pathetically, your hands weaving through his wavy brown hair, tugging on it gently.

You knew better than to pull too hard, last time you had made that mistake he fucked you so hard you weren't able to walk straight for days.

"You're such a needy little slut for me aren't you?" Ryan mumbled. His hand released yours before hooking his fingers underneath the waistband of your skirt, tugging at it before sliding it off, allowing it to fall to your ankles. "Begging for me to fill you with my cock."

His mouth returned to your neck, placing more kisses and marks along your collarbone, causing you to involuntarily pull on his hair harder, making him groan.

"Fuck. I cant wait any longer." Ryan growled, allowing his hand to slide into your underwear. His fingertips lightly ran up and down over your swollen clit, teasing you. The movements smooth and slick thanks to how wet you where for him.

"Ryan.." You gasped, your voice cracking from desperation, a shaky, pathetic moan escaping your lips as your fingers dug into his scalp, resisting the urge to yank on his hair. "please.."

"Please? Really? Is that all you have to say?" Ryan teased, his lips hovering over your neck as he whispered. His hand removed itself from your underwear, moving to your hip as he squeezed it hardly, his fingernails leaving indents in your skin.

"I know you can do batter than that." He continued, licking your neck before trailing open mouthed kisses down it to your collar bone. His grip tightened on your hip as his other hand untangled itself from your now messy hair, moving to your hips and gripping them firmly.

Your head tilted back slightly, giving Ryan more access to your full neck. Soft, quiet moans escaped your lips as your hips grinded into his, making him groan.

"Such a good little slut for me." Ryan murmured quietly under his breath, almost as if he was talking to himself.

Before you could respond with another quiet moan, you felt his hands push up back, guiding you by your hips.

Your back hit the table, Ryan's hands releasing your hips as he moved them to the back of your thighs, giving them a light tap, signaling for you to sit on the table, his hands helping you onto it carefully.

"Are you sure we won't get caught? I mean-"

Before you could finish your sentence you felt his teeth sink into your neck once again, causing you to gasp, yanking his hair.

"I already fucking told you, we'll be fine as long as you just shut up." Ryan grumbled through his teeth, his voice filled with impatience and eagerness. The pleasure and pain from you pulling his hair making him groan.

"Just," Ryan paused, his fingers hooking underneath the waist band of your underwear, tugging at them before pulling them down, sliding them down your legs, allowing them to fall to the ground.

"Just be a good girl for me and don't make too much noise, okay?" Ryan continued, his hand moving up to your neck, wrapping his fingers around it lightly as his thumb ran over the hickeys he had left behind.

You swallowed thickly, giving Ryan a slight nod as your grip on his hair loosened.

"Yeah, alright." You mumbled, trying your best not to squirm under his touch.

With a hum of approval, Ryan released his gentle grip on your neck, allowing his hand to slide down your body slowly, his hand finding its way back down to your wetness.

"Please hurry." Your hips bucked forward against Ryan's hand, desperate for his touch. "I can't wait any longer." You pleaded, your legs instinctively wrapping around Ryan's waist.

"So needy." Ryan teased, his thumb starting to rub loose circles around your clit, causing you to whimper softly, your hips jerking upwards as he teased you.

Without warning, Ryan pulled his hand away again, leaving you panting.

"Fuck! Ryan-" You began to protest, before you stopped yourself, not wanting to upset him further.

Your reaction caused Ryan to let out a shaky laugh, his hands moving to the buttons of his pants, his fingers fumbling to unbutton them before hurriedly sliding them down to his knees along with his underwear, not bothering to take them off fully.

"Look at you," He whispered, beads of precum coating the tip of his cock. "begging for my cock, like a dirty little whore." He continued, his hands reaching behind you and unclasping your bra before tugging it off, tossing it across the room not caring where it ended up.

"But you're my dirty little whore, aren't you?" He added, his hand returning to your cunt, his middle and ring finger rubbing your clit in medium paced circles, causing your hips to buck forward.

"Fuck!" You whined, your hands moving to the edge of the table, gripping it firmly as you resisted the urge to jerk your hips forward again.

"You're already so wet, aren't you? Like you've been waiting for this all day." Ryan murmured against your neck, his free hand moving to your cunt as well, his middle finger rubbing circles around your entrance all while continuing to run your swollen clit.

Your hands released the table and returned to his hair, pulling lightly as you bit your lip, suppressing a needy moan.

"But you haven't though, have you? You've been waiting for me to fuck you for days now." He hissed, not giving you time to reply before his finger slipped inside you fully, moving in and out slowly, mimicking the action fucking.

You let out a sharp gasp that turned into a desperate moan, his fingers working faster on your clit. "Ryan-"

"You're so loud aren't you? Surprised they haven't caught us yet..." He growled, cutting you off before biting your neck, his fingers maintaining a steady pace. "Bet you'd want that it huh? Want them to see how much of a needy slut you are for me." He finished, removing his finger from your cunt causing you to groan in disappointment.

"Too bad, we can't have that. I have a reputation that can't be tainted by a whore like you." He teased, his hand moving up to his forehead, his fingers slipping underneath his headband as he slipped it off, balling it in his hand.

"Open.." He mumbled, his other hand moving to your jaw, his thumb running over your bottom lip.

With a timid nod you parted your lips slightly, looking up at him, your eyes meeting his for a split second.

Carefully, Ryan brought his other hand to your mouth, forcing the fabric of his headband in as he held onto your jaw firmly with his other.

"Good girl." He praised, his hand releasing your jaw as both of them moved back down to your hips, gripping them firmly.

With a shaky hand, Ryan's right hand moved down to his cock, running his thumb over the tip, precum leaking from it.

As you watched Ryan stroke his cock a few times, as if preparing it, your legs tightened around his waist, urging him to continue.

With a shaky breath, Ryan guided his cock to your cunt, the tip rubbing up and down your clit causing you to moan into the makeshift headband gag, your hands pulling on his hair roughly causing him to groan.

"Fuck, I could cum just from this." Ryan groaned, his lips grazing your neck.

As much as Ryan enjoyed seeing you writhe in desperation under him, and as much as he enjoyed teasing you, he couldn't hold back much longer.

With a shaky inhale Ryan guided his cock to your entrance, slowly pushing in inch my inch till he filled you fully, a groan escaping his lips.

Your hips arched into his, pulling him closer as you tightened your legs around his waist, moaning loudly into the fabric.

"So fucking tight for me, what a good slut." Ryan groaned against your neck, allowing you time to adjust to his size before he began rocking his hips, his cock sliding into you in a slow, deliberate rhythm.

"Ryan, please." At least, thats what you tried to say; what came out was more of a muffled whimper than a sentence. But nonetheless, Ryan somehow managed to understand.

"Don't fucking say my name, slut." Ryan growled, his thrusts slow and shallow as he started to properly fuck you on the recording studio table.

"Just take it, be a good little whore and take my cock like the dirty little bitch you are." Ryan hissed, his hand moving back to your cunt, his thrusts quickening as his thumb rubbed circles on and around your clit.

With a sharp inhale you nodded, moaning again into the fabric in your mouth, his finger on your clit and his cock thrusting in and out of you making your mind go blank.

Ryan's free hand moved from your hip to your throat swiftly, his thumb tilting your head back as he squeezed your throat, cutting off air to your lungs but not enough to make you pass out, just enough to make you focus on the pleasure he was providing.

"Don't even fucking think about cumming until I tell you to." Ryan growled, his head moving back from your neck to admire the work he was doing on your cunt, his voice filled with lust and desperation.

"You want me to fuck you harder don't you? You want me to fuck you like the slut you are?" Ryan confirmed, his hips picking up the pace, each thrust deeper and harder than the last

His voice grew slightly louder, groaning with each thrust. "Bet you want to come, don't you?" He teased, as if reading your mind, his thumb working faster on your clit, maintaining the pace of his thrusts.

"Cum for me, fucking whore." Ryan groaned, maintaining his pace as he held back his orgasm, desperately wanting you to cum first.

As badly as you wanted this to continue, your release was inevitable, threatening to crash over you any second, and with Ryan's spoken permission you knew you couldn't hold back any longer.

With a shaky muffled moan, your body tensed under his, your hands tangled in his hair as you pulled it roughly, your orgasm hitting you hard as your hips bucked against his.

Ryan's hand squeezed your throat harder, his thrusts growing more erratic, his hips bucking desperately as his orgasm hit him, causing it to let out a groan mixed with a gasp, his warm cum filling you, his hand releasing your neck as his body twitched.

"Fuck..." Ryan whimpered, his voice shaky and his legs close to giving out. With a shaky breath, Ryan's hand lightly gripped your jaw, urging it further open as his other hand moved to your mouth, removing the headband before tossing it onto the table, his arms wrapping around your waist as he leaned in and kissed your neck, still buried inside you.

After a moment of silence, Ryan pulled back before pressing a light kiss against your forehead. "I'm sorry baby. I love you." He mumbled against your forehead, his breathing slowly down.

You look at your flip phone, the text ryan left for you inviting you over to the band practice, I mean how could you miss it? He's your boyfriend! You smile to yourself before replying "oh that's so kewl! I'll be there!" He let's you know when to be there and you get up to go get ready, you Check your MySpace account once before closing your computer. You make your way to the closet, pulling out anything to wear, a pink juicy couture shirt and a pair of denim shorts. You fixed your hair and makeup before picking up your purse, you placed your t mobile in your purse and your flip phone before heading out. The stage was incredibly big. The decorations were unique and different and it just made you realize how grateful you are for having a unique boyfriend with a taste for things like this. You make your way to the backstage, the entire band sat at the couch as they all gaze up at you, ryan first to speak and greeting you, "hey! You're here." He gets up, putting his mobile down on the table before pulling you into an embrace, you always seem to forget how tall he is compared to you, the smell of his clothes sent you into a haze. He smelt like vanilla and just slightly much more feminine than usual, no one was dressed yet for the show, he placed a kiss on your cheek before pulling away, "you okay? You sure you're gonna be okay here? I mean you're just gonna watch us practice and that might not be the most thrilling thing ev-" You cut him off by letting him know you infact cared. "Ofcourse I'll have fun! Why wouldn't I have fun watching my boyfriend play the guitar like the hot guy he is" you got on your tip toes, placing a kiss on his lips before pulling away, "Boo get a fucking room" you heard brendon let out. You giggled in response before sitting down next to ryan on the couch, Spencer next to you as you all talked. In the midst of the conversation ryan randomly decides to tease you, placing his hand on your thigh, rubbing the flesh of your thigh as he continued to talk to his bandmates, if he looked at you right now he'd be smirking and he knew that. You didn't mind at first, eventually his thigh creeping upwards, now on your inner thigh, you look at Spencer, he didn't notice anything, then you looked at brendon, and boy was he starring, eyeing you up and down, whether it was in interest or disgust or confusion you couldn't tell, but it embarrassed you, you inched further to Ryan's ear before whispering, "what are you doing ryan? Everyone's starring at me. And your... hand" you pulled away and he pretended not to hear you before whispering back to you, "what? I don't know what your talking about?" He let out before going back to talking with jon. You couldn't even pay attention to what they were saying once you felt Ryan's hand further between your inner thighs, his pinky right against your crotch. You felt your cunt get wetter by the second and by then the embrassment washed away and was replaced with need You eyed him. Yet he pretended not to look. You looked at Spencer once again and this time he looked right back at you, he smiled at you then looked down. Fuck their all beginning to notice. You inched back to Ryan's ear before speaking, "everyone's starring ryan.."

"So let them stare?" He inched down to place a kiss on your lips, "oh god get a room man" Jon lets out. "That's what I've been saying look his hand is right on her crotch" brendon speaks out. You kissed him back before quickly pulling away, "come we have to talk" you pulled ryan by his arm and he followed you along with a knowing smile. "Yeah,talking" he let out as he followed you along. You walked to Ryan's dressing room before closing the door, making sure to lock it as you pulled ryan by his shirt, your lips crashing as he continued to suck at your bottom lip, biting gently before continuing to kiss you. "You embarrassed me...infront of...." you couldn't continue talking, detaching from eachother as you helped him take off his shirt, unbuckling his studded belt as you walked over to the dresser, ryan helping you get on top if it as he continued to kiss your neck and suck at the flesh, "everyone..." you whimpered in between your words, he didn't reply, he helped you take off your shirt, undoing your bra. His mouth quickly finding your nipples as he sucked at them, kissing the flesh on your breasts, your hand flew to his hair as you softly gripped at the soft hair. "Fuck! Come on ryan.. I need you"

"Alright love" he pulled his pants down. Exposing his cock. It was hard and the tip was an angry light shade of red. You whimpered as you felt him push your panties down, he rubbed his tip on your cunt, teasing you by slipping the tip alone inside of you before pulling out, "c'mon..." you bucked your hips to gain more friction but instead you felt ryan pull away fully, "that's cheating." He let's out. A smile splattered on his face "Oh stop with the teasing ryan come on.." your voice whiny and needy. He dosent have it in him to resist you when your all needy and wet for him he slowly slips himself inside of you, his cock stretching you out as you hold onto the sides of the dressers table. You cried once he started thrusting into you, your hands flew to his shoulder, holding onto him and pulling yourself closer to him as he continued to fuck you, his cock throbbing inside of you, Jamming into your insides as he threw his head back at the feeling of your soft walls. "Aa.. fuck." His voice was soft and clear. You loved the way he held onto your hips, slamming his cock further deep inside of you, you felt him brush against your sweet spot and you threw your head back in response, "Ah! Fuck! Ryan..right there" you felt your eyes burn with tears as you felt your orgasm approach you. "Can I cum...inside or.." you whimpered a few times before replying, his pace not changing as he continued his rough thrusts, a fast pace as he continued fucking you. "Yeah.." you felt your lips dry up as your fingers digged into the flesh of his back. "Cummi-" You couldn't even finish your words as you felt your orgasm wash over you, "that's it.. just like that" he groans out. You could tell he's slightly smiling with the energy he has left, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he pushed further deep inside of you one more time, cumming inside of your gooey walls, he whimpered into your ears as you inched away from his body, his cock still inside of you as you both regained composure, "Did I make it up to you for embarrassing you?" He asks. You giggled in response, whimpering as you felt him slowly slip out of you, both of you groaning at the feeling. "Mhm." He pushed his cock back into his boxers, pulling his pants and shirt on as he helped you put your clothes back on, clipping your bra for you and helping you put your panties back on, he placed a soft kiss on your forehead as he pulled you into a hug once again, "I love you, you know that right?" You rubbed his back as you smiled at how much he cared about you, "yeah ryan. I do."..

On a hot summer day, Y/N was struggling with school. Socialising was terrifying, her few friends weren't so friendly and she was terrified to start her last year. Again. The bell rang and she got up, dusting the grass off her skirt and walking her way to room 15 when she slammed into some.

“Oh, sorry,” both mumbled in sink. Y/N looked up into the vibrant blue eyes of a face she'd never seen before. They both smiled at each other, anxious to get to class. Y/N made it just on time, sliding into a desk near the back of the room. At least then she could hide.

“Alrighty everyone, welcome back to school. I hope your holidays have been good and well rested to prepare you for the big school year!” Mr White said, tormenting students with the fact that it was their last year of school, like they didn't know the hell ahead. But it was more than any of them knew.

Then there was a knock on the classroom door, and Mr White opened the door to find Mr Hallway/Mr Blue Eyes. He looked in the room and held up a hand to say hi.

“OK everyone, new student. You know the drill, be nice, make friends and he does not come from Russia, so don't let another Brody happen, OK?”

“Ay, fuck off sir!” Brody (famous for pretending to be Russian for 2 terms until an actually Russian kid spoke to him) defended light-heatedly.

Mr White pulled a face back. Ah, school.

“This is-” Mr White dragged out until Blue Eyes spoke.

“Hi, my name's Andy.” His voice was darkly heavenly. Y/N felt weak. Oh no no no, it's WAY too early for this, Y/N told herself.

“OK Andy, take any spot available and don't let these guys scare ya.”

Andy looked around the room and recognized Y/N. Wanting to make a friend he sat next to her.

“Hey, I'm so sorry for crashing into you earlier,” He said, dumping his bag at his feet. “I'm Andy.” he said, stupidly, mentally cursing himself. Wow, great intro, he thought.

“No, I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going,” Y/N managed, trying to keep her anxiety at bay. “I'm Y/N,” she said, smiling.

The class went on, but Y/N was hardly able to think. The guy next to her was too damn cute, with piercing blue eyes, deep voice, black hair and a lip ring. A lip. Ring. And she was supposed to concentrate when she was sitting next to him?? Impossible.

The bell rang and Y/N jumped a little, startled. She saw Caitlin look at her and laugh. Y/n just sighed, and shoved her book deep in her bag.

“Hey, um, what class do you have next?” Andy asked. Y/N turned around fast, eyes wide.

“Oh, um, lemme check,” she pulled out her new schedule to find period 2, English.

“English, room 10. You?” She asked, fiddling with her bag.

“Oh cool, I've got the same. Mind if I sit next to you again?”

It was this simple sentence that started their friendship. At the end of the week they met up for lunch, talking the whole time about their passions and dreams. Two weeks later Andy was having dinner at Y/N's house and watching movies all night.

A month after that, Andy and Y/N were standing side by side, watching the sun set over mountains, leaning on the railing at a lookout. They could each feel their rapid heartbeats, energy rise just from sanding so close.

“Y/N,” Andy mumbled, looking over at his best friend.

“Yes?” she replied, voice high with anxiety.

“I... Would you...” he chewed his lip ring and turned back to the sunset, gathering his courage. “Can I do something?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Y/N wasn't sure she knew what Andy was going to do, but was surprised when she felt him hand on her neck, gently guiding her lips towards his. Eyes fluttering shut, the two of them lost themselves in each other.

Kisses led to dates, which led to first love, vulnerable and new, scared but brave, determined to love with all they had. They were perfect for each other, and for a few months the world slipped away. All that mattered was Andy's laugh and Y/N's smile.

One night when Y/N's parents were out of town, there was a knock on the door.

Y/N rushed downstairs to open the door, knowing it would be her boyfriend, her soulmate, Andy. And being Andy meant she didn't need to change out of her pj's... But maybe taking her hair out of a ponytail might be nice.

The door opened to reveal a bouquet of roses of all colours—including blue and black roses, which took Andy a long time to dye—and behind the flowers, stood a boy in a leather jacket, eyes like the moon and smile brighter than the sun.

“Andyyy,” Y/N said, in way of thanking him.

“Y/Nnnn” Andy replied, saying 'you're welcome'.

Andy wrapped one arm around her waist and kissed her deeply, while she brought her hand to the back of his neck. Staying kissing, the pair moved back into the house, shutting the door. As the kiss grew in intensity, the pair climbed the stairs, hand in hand, until they reached Y/N's room. Passionate kisses turned into more, and they became bound to each other in a way neither would expect.

Only a month later Y/N stumbled against the bathroom wall, sliding down and sitting on the floor in shock. Positive. She was pregnant. But she was barely 18! What was she going to do, what would she tell Andy? Oh my gosh, what about her parents? They'd be so disappointed. She couldn't tell anyone. She'd just get an abortion. But how? With no money, no support, no ride? She couldn't keep it secret forever. She needed to talk to Andy, he'd know what to do, and he'd support her no matter what. Just the thought of him calmed her down.

Picking up her phone, she texted him.

Hey baby, she typed out, then deleting. Baby. Nope, nope, not thinking about that right now.

Hey, can we talk?

Her phone buzzed within seconds.

Uh oh. Good talk or bad talk?

Y/N: I'm not sure. I'm scared.

Andy: I can be over in a few

Y/N: No please don't come over. Can I go to yours?

Andy: Of course xxx

Y/N picked herself up off the floor and wiped the tears from her face. After a deep breath, she wrapped the pregnancy test up in toilet paper, put it in her bag, and went to Andy's.

Andy knew something was wrong, if not by the text, by the red, puffy eyes of his girlfriend. The second he opened the door and took one look at her, she was pulled into his chest, as he left kisses in her hair.

“C'mon in.” He mumbled, holding her hand and shutting the door.

Once the pair was safely in Andy's room, Y/N started crying and shaking. Andy guided her to his bed where she sat for a minute, taking deep breaths.

“OK. Um. Andy. I have something to tell you.” her shaking voice scared him, but he steeled himself, determined to replace her tears with a smile, even if it meant only being friends.

Y/N reached into her bag and pulled out the test. Andy sank down to the floor in shock.

“Say something,” Y/N whispered. “Please.”

“I love you. I'm not leaving unless you tell me to. Whatever you need, Y/N, I'm here, OK? I'm gonna support you through this, no matter what.”

Those words, while exactly what she needed to hear, caused Y/N to burst into uncontrollable tears, sobbing hysterically in her love's arms.

Many months later, Y/N was in hospital, giving birth. And though he was late, Andy was there as soon as he could, soothing his girlfriend and holding her hand, helping however he could for the birth of his son and the sake of his love.

Then one of the worst things that could happen, did. What should have been a healthy baby boy never took his first breath. There was screaming and crying, but not that of an infant.

Y/N held tight to her baby boy, crying over the smallest corpse, as a shattered Andy sobbed with her, ignoring the nurses and laying beside Y/N to hold them both.

No amount of tears would wash out the pain.

A year later, Y/N and Andy were still together, recovering from their loss, never losing their love. But their time together had an expiry date. It was set those years ago, Andy's flight to LA. He was going to be a singer. They booked the flight together, for both of them, in a haze of romance determined dreams. They were going to make it.

But life had other plans, and Y/N had to look after her family for a while, whilst her parents recovered and got back on their feet. She couldn't go with him. But she wasn't going to stop the love of her life from his dreams, just cause of a silly girl like herself.

They walked into the airport, air humid from the rush of passengers. Andy pulled one of his suitcases, Y/N pulled the other, determined to be helpful before she breaks down.

Then it was time to say goodbye.

They knew the chances of lasting long distance were low, and they'd be busy, there would be time difference, and they each thought the other could easily fall for someone better who could physically be there for them. Even if their lives where each other.

A single tear slid down Y/N's cheek. Andy wiped the tear away with his thumb, bringing her in for a kiss. After a long, slow kiss, which all but said 'I love you', Andy pulled away. Forehead pressed to Y/N's, he spoke.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said, with a low voice. “Please, open your eyes. I need to see your eyes before I go.” With that a tear slipped down his face, and Y/N opened her eyes.

“There's my favourite blue eyes,” she sniffled. He let out a small laugh. “I love you, you know.”

Andy just nodded, holding her hand with one hand, her cheek with the other.

“And I always will.”

“I will always love you, too.”

She kissed his hand that was on her cheek, and he pulled away. She watch Andy walk further away from her, each step another crack in her broken heart. She was just about to leave herself when he turned around.

“I LOVE YOU Y/N! I'LL BE BACK, I PROMISE!” Andy yelled, waving, desperate not to leave, unable to stay. It was his fate to go. Then, he whispered it again, “I love you.” and while she couldn't hear it, Y/N knew the movement of his mouth.

She yelled tried to yell back.

“I-” but her voice broke. She held up her hands in the shape of a heart, and whispered “I love you too.”

Andy smiled. Nodded. And got on the plane.

It was a cold sleepless night in another hotel bed. Andy was tossing and turning, trying to sleep. But every time he closed his eyes he just saw Y/N. It had been a year. But his love was never gone.

Grabbing himself a pen and paper, Andy got out of bed and sat at the table in the hotel room, leaving only a dim lamp on. And he started to write.

Tears slipped down his face. But he kept writing. It was the only thing he could do, remember and write, or regret and fall apart.

“I open my lungs dear

I sing this song at funerals... no rush.

These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.

Baby boy you've held so tightly,

This pain it visits almost nightly

Missing hotel beds, I feel your touch.”

“I will await dear, a patience of eternity, my crush.

A universal still.

No rust.

No dust will ever grow on this frame,

One million years, and I will say your name.

I love you more than I can ever scream.

We booked our flight those years ago,

I said, "I love you, " as I left you.

Regrets still haunt my hollow head,

But I promised you I will see you again, again.”

Black Veil Brides. Andy's band. Y/N was so proud of him. Every time she heard their music, she couldn't help but smile, even if that smile killed her a little. She was happy for him, and sad for her. But she only cared that he was happy.

She'd just woken up, her dog barking again at the postie. Why can't they just be friends? She thought to herself as she got out of bed. It was too late, she was already awake, might as well get some food.

After breakfast Y/N got the post from the letter box. Riffling through, bored, she walked inside. Bank, bank, bills, bills, bills, mum and dad, me, bi—oh shit I got one.

She recognized the hand writing. She stopped walking, in the middle of the front yard. Dropping the other letters, she scanned the envelope addressed to her. She opened the letter so carefully the envelope didn't rip.

Unfolding the letter, she took a deep breath and started to read.

“Dear Y/N,

I'm not sure if you'll even get this letter, but I have to try. I hope you're doing well, and your parents are healthy again. I hope you still have that beautiful smile, the one that means so much to me.

You don't need to answer this letter if you don't want to, but I can't stop thinking about you. I promised I'd be back. And, well, my band and I are performing back home. Maybe I could see you again? If you would like.

This letter is saying way more than I was planning, the main reason I'm writing is I've written a song for you. It's called mortician's daughter. These are the lyrics,”

Y/N read the lyrics and broke down, sitting on the grass, wiping tears away as though it would wipe the memories. Anything but facing this pain. She missed him more than she could bare. And his words only made her love him more. But he was not there.

She got to the end and saw 2 tickets were tapped the bottom of the letter.

“I put 2 tickets if you want to come, I'm not sure if you'll bring someone with you though. If you do, they're welcome backstage too.

Love,

Andy”

There were no kisses like there used to be. But he wrote her a song. He said he loves her. Was it just for the song? Y/N picked up the letter and walked inside before she could overthink.

It had been near two years since that fateful flight, and Y/N was terrified to go to a concert. She wore her favourite outfit, and the leather jacket that Andy had left a her house those years ago. The familiarity soothed her.

The drive to the concert wasn't long, but the wait to go inside was eternity. She wanted to watch the concert before meeting him again. After all, Black Veil Brides wasn't just her favourite band because of Andy (though that certainly helped).

When the doors opened, and others rushed to buy merch and go to the toilet after waiting in line for hours, Y/N got as close to the stage as possible. She watched the opening band. She watched everyone come on stage. And she saw Andy.

Andy greeted the crowd, eyes searching for Y/N's. Just as Andy was about to announce what song they'd play, he saw her. Their eyes met. His breath caught. For a second, there was no one else in that room. Only Y/N and Andy.

“Actually, for a change we're gonna start with a song called Mortician's Daughter, if that's OK with you guys,” he said, turning around to check with his band, all of which nodded and said 'yeah'.

Andy sang from his heart, hardly moving the whole song, putting everything he had into the song. The audience sang along, but Y/N just stood there, paralyzed. Looking up at the man she had loved since she was 17 and bumped into him in a school hallway.

By the end of the song, Andy looked directly into her eyes as he say “now I'm home again”. Y/N couldn't stop the tear from falling, and as the crowd cheered, Andy blinked back tears, looking up.

After the concert, Y/N lingered as the crowd dissipated. Then a bouncer came up to her and asked her name. Once he heard it, he asked if she wanted to go backstage. She walked down through the door with a pounding heart, and at the end of the hallway was another door.

“They'll be in there,” he said with a smile.

OK. I can do this. Just going to see Andy. An old friend. Who you loved and still love. And it's bee years, well, nearly 2. OK not helping. Shit, I can't do this-

Just as she was about to talk herself out of it, the door opened, and out walked CC.

“Oh hi! Hey guys, we got a meet and greet!” CC announced excitedly. “Wait, are you...?” he asked.

“Y/N,” she replied.

“Hey, come on in,” he held the door open for her. “By the way, it's nice to meet ya.”

Y/N walked into a small room, full of heat and smelling of sweat, as the guys cooled down from playing under the intense stage lights. CC stood behind her, Lonnie and Jinxx sat on a lounge, Jake was standing at a water cooler. And Andy was in the middle of the room, standing. She could just about see his heart pounding.

The silence in the room became uncomfortable, and the guys took it as a hint to leave.

“Yeah, we'll just ah,” CC said, as they headed out. Jinxx winked at Andy and Jake rolled his eyes at him.

Once the door was such, Andy had the courage to speak.

“You actually came.” he stated the obvious.

“Yeah.”

“Alone?” he asked, but was really asking, 'are you dating anyone'.

“No one to take with me.” she said, knowing what he meant and saying 'no'. “What you said, in the song, is it-”

“Yes,” they both laughed awkwardly as he didn't let her finish. “It's true, if that's what you mean.”

“It is?”

“I still love you. I always will.”

Y/N walked forward in large, confident strides, not stopping until she crashed her lips onto Andy's. Surprised, he stilled for a moment, but then melted back into her arms. They kissed and kissed, smiled and cried tears of relief and kissed. And when they stopped to breath, Andy looked Y/N in the eyes.

"I've missed you so much," Y/N said, with a small sob. "I love you Andy."

“I love you, Y/N," he cupped her cheek, looked her deep in the eyes, and pressed his forehead against hers. "With you, I'm home again.”