Welcome

                                                                            ~J.S.

How many more times do I have too hear the question. “Do you speak english?”, “Are you Legal?” I Might as well buy a shirt that says “I don’t speak english.” “ Don’t even bother.” Just gets me a bit upset once in a while.

“Because sometimes I just need to be held and hear that I am amazing just the way I am. I need it at times, maybe I just feel like this once in a while. I feel like tearing up and hugging you, whoever you may be. Just promise me no matter how bad it gets or I get, don't leave. I promise I won't. Not this time. I love you and I always will, I promise.”

Only when it rains do I hear your heart beat again. When the water drops hit me. I feel it hitting your skin too. When I start walking in it, I feel you. When it starts to thunder I hear your laugh. When the lighting strikes that’s when my heart beats. I always remember you in days like this. Because. .. your the reason it rains. And I’m the reason you make it rain. Just stop and sit and feel it. Feel that air feel that force come to you. Do you feel it? That’s me always being there for you. That’s me always looking after you, That’s me always always loving you. Just enjoy the tear drops of heaven, they will keep you safe. He promised me he Will keep you safe. This rain? Its beautiful. This rain? Is the only way I ever talk to you ever. So I hope it never stops raining. I want to hear your voice always. See your smile. See your happiness, but I only see it in the rain…… just walk and keep walking I’ll there every step of the way. Until it rains again.

That moment when you feel empty, when you feel not angry, not happy, not sad. But numb. Simply numb. And not too much, not to little, feel it just enough. You start wondering the reason of it. You think, You think, you think. Just don’t think too much, you’ll never get back. Try to think of the source of this numbness, instead it leads to bad roads, and you don’t want that. You don’t want that all. You see your options very clearly, you see your time to shine; but you don’t take it, you walk so slowly towards it, instead of running to it like your life was depending on it. Why then? why waste this time? it’s yours. Take it. The funny part is, your not scared. just not into it as before. Your heart beats normally, but you don’t even feel the pulse, can’t even feel that air you’re breathing. What is it, why do we all feel this more than once in life? I been feeling like this lately, I know it isn’t good. I know I shouldn’t pay mind to it. but I can’t ignore it, I can’t ignore not hearing my heart beat anymore. I live life through someone else’s eyes, cause I see myself, I see myself just being me. when we make eye contact with each other. we freeze, we stop, we try to reunite again. it doesn’t work, It hasn’t. I’ve tried it too many times. I think I lost what I was born with, I think I let the world get to me, I think Im becoming one of them, Im becoming normal. Im starting to except “The reality” Im letting go of that vision. That vision, that is my own. dreamers and crazy people, are very much alike. they both can change the world. Normal people? they just follow a a path that goes endlessly without purpose. Remember that feeling ? that feeling of creating things, that feeling of making reality your own? remember that? Just don’t loose it yet. keep making your own reality because no one is

Too nice, too kind, a good listener. I guess its not what all women are looking for. They want a "Man". Someone who is distant and uses them when he can. A person with other options, not the one that only wants them. A brute with no manners, not mention the feelings he can't manage. A " fuck you bitch" type nigga. Looking for all of this yet complaining why he " never there " type nigga. On this sinking ship, all the good guys are getting tired of this. We listen and take care of you. Yet we placed in the friend zone. Instead of being there for you. This nice guy finishes last business. Isnt it getting old for us fellas? We be there taking all the deadly blows. While you still there for him as he goes fucking hoes. Ahhhh I'll never get it searching for love in all the wrong places. Looking for friendship with all the wrong faces. Stop and think, why would he cheat on you if he didn't mean it. Cant fuck up twice like that and then just leave It.