fix your heart

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.

^ ^ ^

Since I hate having to do my own searches to verify stuff, here’s a Science Daily link and the journal article it cites for any similarly lazy-but-conscientious people after me. (And the University of Michigan press release, for what it’s worth.)

the best thing about rulette 2 is that i do think it adds substantial mechanical improvements to the game design of the first iteration — paul and sam as ‘players’ intended to follow and be called out on rules, interesting new rules/prompts/modifiers, the golden rule concept, etc. — but all of that slowly but surely becomes overshadowed by josh ruben landing by chance on all of the specific rules that transform him into a baby-themed tongue-heavy gyrating monster