The Estranged Ramblings of the Socially Deprived

Let me tell you that the basic idea where obeying makes things easier, makes things clearer while disobeying makes things chaotic and ruins your sense of self: that shit is as real as it gets.

Obeying made life easy. The person you are isn’t, maybe, the person you want to be, but you have a sense of self. Making decisions is easier. You can at least predict how things will go, even when you hate it.

But once you start asserting yourself, that’s when it gets bad. Who you are gets questions and torn down time and time again. The process of getting out is so much harder as your ability to trust yourself wears to the point of being non-existence.

I had to have my abusive partner kick me out of the house twice before my ability to make the decision to crawl back was completely wiped.

Source: [x]

Please, I urge you all to share this, even if you’re not a Dutch blogger.

The girl in the pictures is called Anne Faber and she’s been missing since Friday the 29th of September. The second photo is a selfie she sent to her boyfriend right before she vanished. She was cycling, it’s unknown where she was headed but as far as we know she had no plans with other people. She was last seen at 5 PM, the selfie was sent at 6:15 PM. It’s been since discovered this photo was taken in Baarn, The Netherlands. This was about 20km away from her house where she started her journey.

Around midnight, Anne’s parents and boyfriend decided to call the police and report her missing. She’s not picking up or answering messages, her WhatsApp messages are unread. The next day a search party was sent out, for days they searched to no avail.

Tuesday October 3rd suddenly brought change. They figured out her phone signal. It was last detected at 7:30 PM the night she vanished. It shows she had cycled from Soest to De Bilt (both Utrecht, The Netherlands). At 5 PM the same day, someone finds a coat. We only found out today that it belonged to her.

Thursday October 5th, we find a bike in a pond in Huis Ter Heide (Utrecht, Netherlands). It matches the description of Anne’s bike. The pond is drenched.

A day later on October 6th, a bag is found that also matches the description of Anne’s bag. Nothing is found in the pond. It’s been a week since she went missing.

And today, October 7th, they’re looking in the mud of the drenched pond. It’s yet unclear whether the bag is Anne’s.

“There are only three girls in [Suicide Squad] but in my opinion they have the best roles,” she said. “Generally though, superhero movies are totally sexist.

AND THEN I FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS 

Do you know why most women don’t know when they’re having heart attacks? Why heart attacks kill more women than men? Because symptoms of a heart attack are different for women and the ones that doctors usually recognize and publicize are the symptoms experienced by men. Do you know why it’s so difficult for Black and Brown people to get diagnosed if they have skin cancer? Because doctors have been taught to recognize it on white people. People of size are constantly told that their problems are entirely because of their weight and doctors don’t even bother to look beyond that to be sure that’s the case. So those people have medical conditions go undiagnosed properly for years, and die in the process.  Fuck, even just the fact that people think it’s okay to charge women more for healthcare because “they have extra parts” (?????) is indicative of the way the male body has been considered the standard for fucking ever. And the healthcare needs of disabled people or trans people? Forget about it.

1.) ADHD testing was only ever done on boys back in the ‘60s-’70s. Boys tend to present with hyperactivity, girls tend to present with inattention, so boys get most of the diagnoses and aid in the form of medication and accommodations. Many women get all the way into adulthood before they seek help of their own volition.

2.) Recently, the FDA has changed guidelines on dosages for Ambien in females because they metabolize the drug differently from men. They need about half the dosage, but because original tests were done on males, this wasn’t noticed at first.

This isn’t an issue of overt racism or sexism so much as it is just how the medical establishment has worked for decades if not centuries. It’s slowly changing for the better. As a woman who is disabled both mentally and physically it’s incredibly frustrating to be overlooked.