حـب

John Boyega and his nephew

That rice tho

Still

Facts

Describe your perfect date in detail.

ideal date: it happens

What is my perfect date? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It’s priceless. As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She’s been waiting for me all these years; she’s never taken another lover. I don’t care, I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the chandelier.

Honestly I’m not gonna survive the apocalypse. Y'all go on gathering berries and drinking cockroach milk (apparently) and forming barter economies and I’m gonna stay in my house until the last of my seltzer runs out and then I’m gonna put on an all cashmere outfit and lay down and die. Have fun fending off the coyotes and doomsday cults and living on expired canned goods in a world with no more Netflix. Pass.

everyone talks about how terrible tumblr was from 2012-2014, but let me tell you, as someone who has been on this website for 5 years, 2015-2017 has been the absolute fucking worst from blatant bullying, to spreading extremely diluted information about mental illness, excusing unhealthy coping mechanisms, and adopting black and white thinking skills. yeah sure, there was some cringy shit back in 2012, but at least people were fucking nice to each other   

all i think of whenever i see this post is the time in 2012-2014 tumblr when someone literally got ran off the site because they thought a picture of ice cream was mashed potatoes