Periodically elemental

Wasn’t this the toy that scared a kid real bad so they ran away screaming only since it follows sound it just chased this poor screaming kid all over the place?

yep that’s the one

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

this is why you shouldn't swear

it would probably move faster if your phone wasn't encased in green gelatin

the liberal media won’t trick me into removing my protective delicious gels

It tastes like radio static

just ate the rare Poisoned Cheese & Onion Twist so naturally i will be succumbing to the effects soon!! 😍

the wife of this boddhisattva keeps cheating on him with me and it sucks every time he catches us fucking on his bed he just smiles and nods with boundless compassion and understanding i think she's actually getting off on how guilty it makes me feel

Good for her

Working at a sex shop has ruined me because I was checking out a booth at a public market selling bone-shaped collar tags that said shit like “I’m lost” and “pet me” and “spoiled” and it wasn’t until I saw “I pee when I’m excited” and thought damn okay kind of hardcore that it even occurred to me that they could be for like. ACTUAL dog collars 😭😭😭

THIS IS IT!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!

I don't think I should have to voice train but it's getting really annoying to get gendered correctly until the moment I start speaking

Getting really tired that not performing traditional femininity just gets people calling people like me butch or just misgendering us. Like come on

I need hrt that lobotomizes anyone who misgenders me

i've felt the same way. i've been trying to voice train actually because of exactly this, sigh.

So you only like the first 62 words of the 80 word post that established the concept? Fascinating.

yes

A room is most scary when it is empty