awkward teenage girl (mentality), digital diary, random blogs, changes hyperfixations like a girl changes clothes, delusional freak, chronically out of place | everyoneās welcome to be my friends & moots! ^_āā
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Wonyoung knew she held the strings anchored into Jiwon's shoulder blades, embedded so deeply into her skin that she no longer remembered what it felt like to be bare. The faintest twitch of Wonyoung's fingers were enough.
It was like something instinctual inside Jiwon to follow the syllables carved upon Wonyoung's tongue. No matter what came from her mouth, spewing spit or cruelty.
"You're nobody without me." And the fragments of who Jiwon had been before Wonyoung slowly slipped away.
Unapologetically, Wonyoung found a kind of thrill in the wreckage that became Jiwon. She didn't know who to be, who she was meant to be- not without Wonyoung. She was scared of meaning nothing.
"If you keep talking to me like that, I'll leave out this door." Her knuckles curl around the metal knob. Jiwon watches her still fingers- wishing they were trembling, wishing for hesitation.
"No- Please. Don't. Don't go." Her voice breaks before she can steady it, grasping at the hem of Wonyoung's shirt.
Wonyoung tilts her head. "You gonna miss me?"
Jiwon leans into her collarbones, her forehead resting in the crook of her neck. "So much more than you know."
Wonyoung grins down at Jiwon, and she indulges in pushing her further into her neck, till she feels the tip of her nose pressing against her skin.
How lucky she was to have Jiwon, to mold her into such a sweet girl.
Nestled into the curve of Wonyoung's shoulder, Jiwon's lids felt heavy. "I think... I think we should take a break." Wonyoung suddenly mutters.
Jiwon's eyes flutter open, her pupils already blown. She jerks away from Wonyoung's arm. "What? No." Her brows pull together, nails digging into the linen sheets like claws.
A strand of Jiwon's hair slips forward, Wonyoung reaches over and tucks it back behind her ear. "Okay."
"Okay? What the fuck?" Jiwon pushes herself up on her palms. "Wonyoung-"
"Go to sleep."
"...Sorry." It wasn't the feeling of power that Wonyoung found so exhilarating, it was knowing that Jiwon loved her- more than anything, more than herself. There wasn't a single part of Wonyoung that Jiwon did not desire, no part of her that she found flawed. All she found was Wonyoung- and that was enough.
But not for Wonyoung. She needed to know how far Jiwon would go, how much she was willing to do for her.
"You're exhausting, Jiwon. All you do is follow me around like a lost puppy." Her fingers trace the rim of her coffee mug, almost empty.
Jiwon blinks at her. "A puppy?" She echoes, her voice soft.
Wonyoung nods, her lips pressed into a flat line.
"Okay," Wonyoung arches a brow. "Leave." That wasn't the answer she expected.
"You're not gonna scream at me or beg me to stay?" Wonyoung stands up, her heels hitting the legs of the chair. Her foot nudges at the wood, pushing it backwards. She steps toward the sink and pours the rest of her coffee into the sink. She watches the liquid run into the drain, disappearing.
"That's how a puppy would react, isn't it?" Jiwon stares down at the table.
Wonyoung sets the cup beside the ceramic sink. "I can leave whenever."
"Then leave, Wonyoung."
It would be lying if Wonyoung were to say she wasn't disappointed. She wanted to watch her unravel. But she kept herself coiled tight. She left the apartment, shutting the door without a glance back to the kitchen.
Wonyoung could hear her blood pumping in her ears, the steady drum of her pulse quickening with each step she took further from the building.
Alone. That's what Wonyoung felt, lying on her made bed. The blankets straightened, her pillows fluffed, all in perfect arrangement that hadn't been touched in months.
Her home felt cold, the corners of the walls collecting lint and dust balls. Alone was unfamiliar to her, something that hadn't managed to breach beneath her skin in years- not since she met Jiwon.
She lasts only a couple hours.
By the time Wonyoung realizes she's driving, she's a couple streets away from Jiwon's apartment. Her hand on the railing, she takes the short steps up to the hallway of door mats and forgotten potted plants.
Her key slips into the lock with ease. She leans around the doorframe, peering into the room. It's dark, unusually so. Her eyes land on Jiwon's back, facing the cupboards. She moves quietly, crossing into the kitchen.
Wonyoung stopped just behind her, close enough to hear the sound of her pants. She cranes her neck, and catches her reflection in the blade. Jiwon's eyes are cast forward, distant. In her slender fingers, lies a sharpened kitchen knife.
"You gonna slit that pretty throat?"
Jiwon jumps at the hiss of Wonyoung's voice, her eyes snapping back into focus. "Fuck! I- What are you doing here?" She practically yelps, her voice breaking mid-sentence.
"I wanted to make sure you were okay, but-" Wonyoung gestures to the knife in Jiwon's hands. "You'll go through with it, right?" Her voice drops into a murmur, settling her chin on Jiwon's shoulder.
Wonyoung's breath ghosts over her skin, in a steady pattern compared to the heavy rise and fall of Jiwon's chest. "Come on, don't be a pussy."
Jiwon's fingers tremble violently around the handle, bringing it closer to her neck. "You want... You want me to-?"
Wonyoung nods, her face lighting up at the glint of the knife.
"I can't."
Before the blade can clatter to the ground, Wonyoung wrenches it out of Jiwon's hands. Her hands don't shake out of fear, so she holds the cold metal against the soft skin of Jiwon's throat. "I thought you kept your promises, Jiwon." She smiles, a small tilt of her lips.
"I do." A flicker of apprehension crosses her face as she tried to ignore the unease curling in her stomach. Jiwon's eyes darted beneath her chin where the sharp tip grazed her skin and to where Wonyoung's chin lay.
Wonyoung raises a brow. "You do?" Her fingers snake around Jiwon's waist, creeping along the stitching of her shirt's hem.
"Can you-" Jiwon gulps. "Please stop." She shakes her head, her hair falling around her temples.
"Don't tell me you're scared." She chuckles at the chatter of Jiwon's teeth, her chin trembling ever so slightly beneath her bottom lip. She presses the knife harder against her throat, just enough to draw droplets of blood.
"Stop!" Jiwon staggers backward, her back hitting the kitchen counter. She reaches for the dripping gash, her hand hovering near her sternum.
Wonyoung stares at her, at the trickling crimson down the slope of her throat. "If I found your cold body on this floor, I would've joined you."
Wonyoung hasn't looked up at the expression on Jiwon's face, only the liquid that continues to pour. "You cut me. It- It hurts."
"It hurt when you kicked me out." Planting both hands on the counter, knife handle pressed into the curve of her thumb- Wonyoung pouted, childishly.
"You left," Jiwon's shoulders tense, eyes darting to the hands caging her in. "You left on your own."
One hand leaves the counter, then the other. They settle at Jiwon's waist, at the belt loops of her jeans. Her fingers wrap around the dip of her torso as Jiwon stiffens. "You love me?"
"I- Yes."
Wonyoung's fingers creep down her abdomen, ghosting over the zipper of her pants. "Say it." The knife hits the counter, landing somewhere near Jiwon's hips.
"...I love you." Deft fingers unfasten the button.
"Say it again."
Her lips part and close. "I love you." The zipper slides down with a soft rasp, and Wonyoung's fingers hook into the waistband.
She pulls on the denim, shuffling the pants down to Jiwon's knees. "How much? What would you do for me? Tell me." Reaching past Jiwon, her grip closes around the handle of the blade.
Jiwon sucks in a gasp as Wonyoung tugs her panties down hastily, the flat of the knife pointed towards her. "I'd do- I'd do anything. Wonyoung, I just tried to kill my-" Her brows pull together.
The very edge of the hilt presses against her entrance, a breath tears from Jiwon's throat.
Wonyoung stares at the wooden handle covered in slick as she pulls away. "But you didn't." She turns it over in her hands, the pad of her thumb running along the oak.
A whimper tumbles out of Jiwon's lips when the hilt finally thrusts into her hole, the jagged tip facing Wonyoung's chest. "I just wanted to know if you'd be okay without me." She looks at her face reflecting in the metal. "I don't want to leave you. I'd never do that."
Jiwon's eyes only widen, clamping down on her tongue to keep her moans in her throat. So Wonyoung pulls out of her, leaving her clenching around air.
When no response comes, she shoves the handle back into Jiwon's pussy. This rips a moan from Jiwon's lips, her hips bucking forward. "Fuck, you slut. You like the knife?"
"Not better than your cock." Jiwon breaths.
"Of course not."
Jiwon can never be bare of the threads at her back, and not for only her own good- but Wonyoung's.
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Soowon x gn!reader headcanon where the crimson illness actually managed to catch up to himā”
ā tags: soowon x gn!reader headcanon, death, crimson illness, final hour together, mention of gulfan, yona, hak, keishuk, joo-doh, and minsu, funeral, angst, hurt no comfort
-note: I love soowon so much but Iāve always wondered what if the consequences in the manga were real and his death would actually come? so here goes! ^__^
-warning: english isnāt my first language, please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes. please excuse some OOCs too.
Soowon whose crimson illness had withered him far too early in life. He had already long accepted his imminent death, so long as his goal to have Kouka be a strong Kingdom that couldnāt be looked down on was accomplished.
Soowon who day by day grew weaker, not even the sleep medicines from Minsu could soothe away the raging headaches that plagued him every hour. The piles of paperworks in the office were left untouched at this point, his hand couldnāt even reach up to hold a brush firmly.
Soowon who in death looked just as pale and frail as his mother.
Soowon who had thought that he was willing to die for his fate as the crimson dragon kingās descendant, up until he met you.
You, the only light of his life after his dearest friends had been driven away from Hiryuu Castle. He had never intended for love to bloom within himānot when his days are numbered, until you appeared in front of him.
Someone who never one-sidedly judged him for his actions. Someone who could see through his intentions and weaved an honest connection with him. The only person who had never talked bad about Yona and Hak, yet understood the need for them to be away from the palace.
How could he not fall for such a sincere person?
Oh, but how he regretted it all.
Soowon who regretted bringing you into the mess of the palace and into his short lifespan. He knew that he couldnāt have ever given you the everlasting romance youāve always dreamed of due to his illness, but he still selfishly grasped onto you for comfort each time the symptoms arose.
Soowon who isnāt afraid to harshly shoot down your interest in marrying and having children with him, constantly reminding you of his cursed bloodline. It would hurt more to give you further false hopes.
No matter how much you begged and pleaded, however much you reassured him that you didnāt mind any of them so long as you get to marry him, he would only smile at you with a distinct sorrow that only a dying man could have. Why would he want to legally bind you together, if itāll only end with you as a widow?
Soowon whose body could not keep up any longer, during one particularly cold morning.
Soowon who called you to his bedchamber but couldnāt greet you at the door like usual, instead merely reclining on the headboard of his king sized bed.
You instantly knew that something was amiss. His smile was far too weak, the eyebags were so sunken as if he hadnāt just downed countless sleeping medicines last night. There was some sort of strange feeling coming from within him.
āCome here.ā Your heart dropped the moment you heard his raspy voice. All you could do was held in your tears and climbed up to his side on the bed, clinging onto his arm.
Soowon who talked about a lot of trivial things that morning, focusing more on listening to you and merely responding to your nonsensical words.
Nonsensical, because you couldnāt think straight from how heavy your heart was.
Soowon whose smile was ever so gentle, but his weak arms were struggling to cuddle you tighter than he had ever done. His head was poundingāthe pain sharper than he had ever felt before, but he never stopped smiling. The two of you would talk about nothing, none of you mentioning the obvious. It was too painful to even be acknowledged.
Soowon who knew his final hour was up.
As you continued talking, recalling previous funny jokes shared with Keishuk and Joo-doh to conceal the waver in your voice, Soowon cut off your words short with a simpleāāIāll always love you.ā
The tears youāve been holding finally spilled down your cheeks, your sobs muffled as you pressed your face against his firm chest. Those words have always sounded so sweet, especially any time he said it in his honeyed, soft tone. Every day and night, your head would be filled with affectionate words he would utter earnestly.
But this time, that exact sentence was something you wouldnāt want to hear. Not yet, at least. This is too short. How could the crimson illness be so cruel? He shouldāve had more time.
Soowon who had never interrupted you a day in his life no matter how much you talk, but having to do it for the first time in the most heart breaking way possible. He only wanted to say it for the last time. To have his genuine love for you be the last thing to escape his lips.
Soowon who didnāt answer your āI love you tooāāthe soft chuckle you waited for that would never come.
Soowon whose lips felt cold as you came up to kiss him for the last time. You knew by then that he was gone. His shallow breathing was no more, his heart had stopped beating entirely. There was no longer any movement from him, even his arms that had been wrapped tightly around you had come loose. He was as still as a corpse.
You cried over his dead body for god knows how long, the sun had already reached the top, but your tears just wouldnāt stop wetting up his robes.
Soowon who had such a peaceful smiling face with his lifeless body laid on the bed as if he was just sleeping in.
Soowon whose death was only announced in the late afternoon by you who had left his bedchamber looking like ten years had been drained out of your lifespan.
Minsu initially panicked seeing you look so haggard, but his worries instantly vanished once he saw the Kingās body. Keishuk fell to his knees, feeling as if his world had just crumbled now that his King was gone. Joo-doh tried shaking his body to wake him upāthis must be another prank you both pulled, managing to rope in Minsu and Keishuk this timeāonly to realize that it was all real.
Soowon who had always preferred a simple funeral, yet no matter how much you tried to follow his wish, a Kingās funeral will always be the most beautiful misery to befall the Hiryuu Castle.
The skies were bright as the whole Kouka Kingdom mourned their King, a loss so immense that it could shake up the whole Kingdom. But for now, all you could do was mourn the loss of the love of your life.
You stared up at the unforgiving sun, so bright and clear even in the midst of such a sorrowful day.
You could somehow make out a falconāGulfanāsoaring across the skies, wandering aimlessly now that he had lost the firm arm he would always land on.
Soowon who succumbed to the crimson illness as prophesied, just like any of his predecessors, leaving behind grief so heavy you knew you had to carry for a long time.
Soowon who you will never stop loving even until after his death. Maybe, until your death as well.
Yan Sydney would absolutely go feral the moment that chastity cage is off, i fear for darlings ass/pussy/all of their holes the moment it is off, you would think Yan Sydney is possessed by the elk god itself
Trigger warnings: This guy is so so weird, NSFW, weird religious takes, mentions of pregnancy, blushing virgin but like make it manic, male and gender neutral reader mentions (Iām sorry I think Sydney plays with cock absently itās not my fault)
MDNI
Yan!Sydney knew you were heaven before you even went this far with him. Your smile and morning greetings were already enough for his weak heart to shatter and his religious values to wane ever so slightly. He really didnāt think you could make it any worse, how could you? He was already ruined.
Yan!Sydney will always be on top, even if youāre the one fucking him. He canāt help it, he sets a brutal pace himself and canāt stop for anything. The feeling of you cock or strap inside of him where nobody had thought to have him before is intense. It hurts but he truly believes the pain is holy.
Yan!Sydney if heās the one fucking you he is insatiable. Heās easily capable of going multiple rounds and lord will he. Quickies do not exist in his dictionary, only constantly and endlessly having you. Youāre his slice of heaven, he wonāt stop until heās had more of the pie than just a slice.
Yan!Sydney gets off watching his cum leak from your puffy holes. Heāll go again and again until youāre leaking and then eat you out. His glasses fogged and his face a burning shade of red but heās so, so happy to have you on his tongue mixed with his own cum.
Yan!Sydney isnāt above pushing your head down so you can properly take him down your throat. Heās so sorry for the Chasity belt being in the way but now that itās gone, you can have him! Heāll make you have him. It doesnāt matter if itās in public or in private, he canāt focus on anything but your throat squeezing around his cock.
Yan!Sydney who knows heās big and probably too much for your first time and promises himself ahead of time heāll be gentle. He wonāt be aggressive. He forgets that promise the moment he sees you naked, your soft body all he needs to see before heās pushing you down and shoving himself in. Any hole will work, he doesnāt have a bias.
Yan!Sydney who canāt help himself but to play with your cock while heās fucking you. Especially the tip, he toys with your red and aching tip even after youāve cum enough times to be properly sobbing. His pace doesnāt slow either, maybe even gets faster, he canāt help it. He just loves the sticky feeling of your tip while heās rearranging your insides and very soul.
Yan!Sydney whose definition of after care is praising you and toying with your puffy holes. He canāt help it! Youāre his now and forever, promised together by the fact youāve defiled him by the churchās standards. He just needs to feel you, remind himself this is real. Heāll clean you up later, besides you look wonderful with cum leaking from your hole.
Yan!Sydney who canāt help himself but to grope you after your first time. His hands are still a little nervous but magnetize to your cock or pussy. Heāll squeeze and whisper to you about how sinful you make him, but then heāll pull away fast and almost cum in his pants when you whimper. Youāve ruined him. He canāt have anybody but you ever again and heās not upset. Just let him have you, he can be such a good provider.
Yan!Sydney wouldnāt be offended if you became pregnant from all his constant fucking. Sure theyād have a lot of explaining to do to the temple, but their best? The best of the flock? They wouldnāt kick Sydney out nor you. Especially since theyād raise the child to be a temple goer like their parents. He wouldnāt mind if you started to rely on him, dependent on him as you swelled with his child. It would not stop him from having his way with you
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Man I hate Avery so much, yet i find his writing well done in the sense that he's the perfect depiction of an abuser (or abusive partner in this situation)
He acts friendly and very lovely towards PC when they first meet, trying to win their trust with sweet words
Has none or pretends to show interest in PC as a person, when in reality all he sees them is as a toy
When PC goes to live with him at first everything is sweet and slowly he tries to make PC do chores and start changing them (both appearance and personality)
Tries to get PC away from the people they've known (the orphans)
If PC doesn't do what he wants, he gets physical towards them and then later he brings them gifts (flowers) as an "apology" yet they keep abusing PC
- That man doesn't have a phone. He has a playstation but not a phone. If you have a phone and aren't pushing him to buy one with the money he saves after you take his debt/buying him one, but YOU have a phone, he asks you to play some game he heard about in it.
- If he gets a phone at low confidence he has art of his fave character as his wallpaper. At high confidence a selfie of the two of you.
- His phone gallery IS selfies of the two of you, Google screenshots of information in general, and once again art of his favourite characters.
- social media presence is non existent. Has accounts but only to follow his favourite video game creators and YouTubers, any museum page(s) Winter sets up, and any younger orphan asking to be oomfs online. The first person he'll follow is you though.
- high confidence Robin loves the maps app, let's him find cute/cool locations to organize cheap little dates with you!
- if your pc puts the "lewd" in "lewdity" he searches up whatever term he remembers you using while flirting with him that he doesn't know from Sirris science class.
Whitney :
- Has a phone and the screen is cracked.
- any game(s) in his phone that he finds embarrassing, he hides in folders.
- He posts insane Snapchat and Instagram stories, no regard for the police noticing at all.
- often reposted videos of him assaulting the pc that his friends had posted with some caption like " LOL" . Stops when he starts liking pc. Only does it now occasionally, after his friends questioned him.
- when you first meet and he is at a state of "I NEED to cause this orphan clinical depression" if you post anything online he cyber bullies tf out of you in the comments.
- at the initial start of liking you he stops doing that. He stops interacting with your pages at all he just.. scrolls. If you don't post he is oddly pissed off about it.
- he follows you online but only after he proclaims himself as your boyfriend š he also will beat up anyone at school trying to be mean to you on social media lol.
- also said it on twt too, he has Snapchat, and it's ridiculous how quickly his Snapchat scores drops when he gets with the pc.
- Doesn't post about the pc unless it's a video of them bringing him drinks/snacks in his apartment or Halloween trick or treating maybe.
- Okay yeah fine I can't end the hcs for him without " he watches porn". Not that often after you're together tho.
- he has an untitled private music folder of songs that remind him of you. Will never show you.
Kylar
- Has a phone. It's in okay condition actually, any cracks in the protective case are a result of bullies getting his stuff and throwing it around, not him :(
- He uses his phone to play games and do digital art with.
- He has social media, however he absolutely does not post under his real name. If he posts at all its with a fake name and it's art for which he is actually very popular for.
- Frequent ao3 and Tumblr user.
- He has a bunch of fake social media usernames/empty accounts with which he monitors YOUR pages on a day to day basis.
- He only makes an account with his real name if you ask him whether he is on social media so you can be oomfs. Is actually ecstatic over it! You're acknowledging your relationship! Unfortunately he is also grilling you to write that you're in a relationship with HIM somewhere in your page.
- also replies the most EMBARRASSING simping crap at your posts.
- tries to get you to allow him to track you via his phone. If you deny he'll be really upset, but given that he already has a knack at stalking you he consoles himself.
- googles anything related to you that he doesn't know in an effort to be fully understanding of your world ( ex gardening ect)
- gets very jealous if you have otome games on your phone. No, do not question the double standard here.
- please watch anime with him in illegal steaming sites.
- yes, he watches hentai.
Sydney
- Has a phone! Very good condition!
- has social media but very limited presence, he just doesn't really care. If the temple ever made a social media page to attract young people he'd be happy to handle it as both pure and corrupt sydney.
- pure sydney posts mostly about the library + temple events. Corrupted Sydney while posting about that, is not as passionate about it lol
- has selfies with you, his dad and a couples of friends ( mostly other initiatives on his phone)! Please try to get Jordan to take selfies with him, Sydney will be so happy
- likes and replies to all your stuff even if it's with just a heart emoji!
-Corrupted Sydney is shamelessly flirting in the DMS + your public comment section.
- He attempts to have e/phone sex.
- corrupted Sydney has definitely asked you to retrieve a book from the shelves so he can take a panty shot underneath you.
- corrupted sydney advertises his dad's shop when Sirris asks.
- He also uses Google/porn to find new uses for the stuff in Sirris shop for you two to try.
- has a list in his notes of stuff he wants to try with you actually
Alex :
- He has a phone ( canon). Good condition mostly, any cracks are from his drunken nights stumbling around with it in his pocket, and bumping onto walls/the floor.
- Uses it only for business deals.
- He usually doesn't call you (and he doesn't text either although he'd enjoy calling slightly more than texting lol) he prefers face to face contact
- that being said, if he is drunk you probably do get calls for him. They can range from horny, to emotional whining that he misses you.
- this can occur even if you're literally sitting in the living room and he is upstairs or outside, it takes a lot of liquor for him to get that drunk tho.
- If you try to get him to go on social media to advertise the farm products he'd just give you the job, this man just doesn't care about social media at all.
- his notes are just a grocery list
Eden :
- Does NOT have a phone. Does NOT want a phone. Didn't even want YOU to have a phone.
- He doesn't break it or anything (unless when he first catches you if he finds it,especially if you're being rightfully disobedient) but he doesn't like it.
- it's a connection to the town! It takes your attention away from him! Just sees it as awful tbh.
- does not like you posting on social media at all
- that being said he is entertained if you sit with him and play farming simulators/minecraft ect. Anything else he will be annoyed you're on your phone when with him.
-while annoyed and would probably refuse since he is insecure, he IS happy if you want selfies with him, he takes it as a sign of love.
Avery :
- phone in excellent condition
- calls you regularly to schedule dates when busy, but doesn't text
- uses it for work, no games
- he does find it very endearing if you have games in your phone tho.
- if you have social media he controls what you post a lot.
- all his pages are very professional, very carefully curated and you will be included in pictures by his arm if he likes you.
- he takes pictures at some point during the dates and then the phone gets put aside, he does want to spend time with you, he just also needs to help his social image.
Black Wolf and Great Hawk :
- wife what is this
- fancinated in Great Hawks case.
- black wolf is another annoyed one, he really isn't fond of human technology
- both kinda startled
- Great hawk while wary, if it makes you happy he is happy to let you use it! Very proud if you wish to take pictures with him, and explain it's something you do so you have something of him when you miss him! Does he understand the magic this machine does? Well no. But wife is satisfied and loves him!
- some pups in the wolf cave are also sooo happy to be photographed tho.
Gwylan
- old fox man doesn't care about phones.
- he is very happy if you show him those low stim cartoons ( bluey, Arthur ect) those crunchy moms love tho!
- he also really enjoys cute animal videos!
Wren :
- horrible condition, the screen has a thousand cracks.
- he uses it for business deals and his calls with you are brief instructions to meet. Prefers not to text because he is careful not to put stuff in writing.
- has an untraceable phone he uses way more often.
- shady bastard who for obvious reasons is very careful with technology (Whitney could learn something from him)
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the more i delve deeper into bailey the more into pseudoincest i am,,, hope this doesnāt awaken smth in me,,,,, or maybe it already has š¤·š»āāļø
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