figuring things out

     The annual DC chess competition was in the middle of fall when the weather was leaning more towards snowmen and hot cocoa instead of jack o lanterns and candy. It was a weird middle ground and you always hated this time of year except for this competition. Specifically, one of the finalists.   You never went out of your way to watch people play chess but, when you had first moved to the area, you had explored and found yourself in the very same park with too many people surrounding a chess table. You had joined the audience and that was the first time you saw him. At the time, he had shaggy hair that was beyond unkempt and practically twitched with the wind. You had quickly learned that it was the finals and it was left to him and a girl that was going to need a new set of nails by the end of the day. It was obvious he was going to win, he only needed to move his knight and it'd be checkmate. Except, he didn't. He made the move that ends the game in five turns instead of one, which lead to the other player winning and getting the prize. He had accepted defeat with a smile, nodding in congratulation to the girl, and, just like that, he had left. It had confused you but at the end of the day, it didn't really matter. Then, a year had passed and you found yourself in the same park watching the same tournament again. Except he was against an old man and his hair was cut short. You had arrived closer to the beginning and you were able to see how he played. It was clear that he was smart and attentive, watching and calculating his opponent's moves so far in advance you almost couldn't keep up. But, again, the last move was there and he pretended to be oblivious to it. Another year and he was runner up and you were beyond intrigued. Sure, it was a little weird to only come for someone you never met before, chess wasn't exactly something that warranted fans and groupies, but there was something about him. He was forfeiting on purpose, giving up a pretty decent cash prize, and was smart enough that no one ever noticed. It's what brought you back every year to an almost freezing park, too early in the morning.   This year, he was back to his shaggy hairstyle though it wasn't as crazy as when you first saw it. He had more confidence around him, the mere presence of other people not forcing him to hide a flinch. The match ended the way it always did, a shocked checkmate breaking the silence and a polite nod from him. He never went in for a handshake and you wondered if, maybe, he didn't like to be touched. He also never seemed to have anyone rooting for him. The winner always had a crowd to celebrate their victory, but, over the years, you hadn't seen him go to anyone to mourn his loss. Or at least pretend to since he always knew he was going to lose. You always stayed to the back of the crowd, not wanting to cross his attentive gaze in case he questioned who you were or why you were there, and once they all ran to the winner you knew that was your cue to leave.   "You're always so quick to leave." You freeze, startled by the voice but not too surprised. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who was talking to you, especially since you knew this day would come. You just hoped it'd be somewhere between nowhere and never. For a moment, you considered pretending that you hadn't heard him at all. But, your curiosity got the best of you and you found yourself face to face with him. It was a lot harder to deny how attractive he was when he was right in front of you. Then he smiled and you weren't sure how you were still breathing. "I'm Spencer."   You cleared your throat, trying not to seem like you got caught red-handed. You weren't exactly doing anything wrong, just a little weird. "I'm Y/N." You moved to shake his hand but remembered last minute that he wasn't the biggest fan of them which lead to a very awkward wave. "Uh, nice game?"   "Would you, uh," He says, the confidence he had mustered up leaving now that you were looking at him. "Would you want to stay a little longer? Maybe get some bad street coffee?"   You try to remind yourself that he's a complete stranger and you weren't one to go off without a care. You rarely gave out your number when people asked because it felt like too much too fast. But coffee never hurt anybody. Street coffee, however. "How about we go to a café?" His eyebrows shot up at the suggestion, not expecting you to agree. "I know one that's pretty quiet this early. Plus, I'm sure we both have some questions." You laughed awkwardly, knowing that the question of 'why do you lose on purpose?' was a lot different than 'why do you keep showing up when I'm in a tournament?" but you figured it was best to put it out there.   His smile brightens and he gestures for you to lead the way. "After you."

----   "Maybe he hunts his victims in places where singles hang out." Spencer thought, "You know, bars, nightclubs, chess tournaments." He listed, paying more attention to the case than what he was saying. He didn't realize what he had said until Hotch trailed off and restarted the discussion. He turned to JJ, slightly confused, but he was just met with a look he knew all too well. She wanted to talk about his love life which wasn't his favorite topic when it came to JJ.   Though, ever since meeting you, he understood why people gushed about their significant others. Not that he would gush, it's just that he was excited to be with you and, maybe, after the case he'd finally tell them about you. Or at least JJ. You were always on his mind and the team starting to get curious, especially since he was having more and more slip ups like he just did.   After meeting for coffee, the two of you basically talked every day. He had told you about his job and, almost immediately, you started to worry about him which lead to 'still alive' texts every now and then in your inbox. You kept odd hours which meant no matter what time zone he was in, you were probably awake and happy to answer, especially when he called. You had learned quickly that if he was calling on a case he needed something normal to get him to the end of it. You were happy to be that for him. If either of you were being honest, you didn't really know when you started dating. He had a bad case, though he didn't want you to know that. The jet had landed and he immediately pulled out his phone, calling you even though it was well past midnight. It didn't matter, he knew you'd answer. And you did. He had gone over to your apartment, take out in his hands and a weight on his shoulder, but it lifted the slightest bit when you opened the door with a smile. You had spent the night catching up and ignoring the elephant in the room while Netflix asked if you were still watching in the background. You weren't sure how it happened but when you woke up the two of you were laid out on your couch, take out on the floor and your head on his chest. It was almost seven in the morning and if you didn't leave right away you were going to be late to work but then the body beneath you started to stir, pulling you closer to him in his drowsy state. He obviously needed his sleep and who were you to take that from him?   "What time is it?" He had mumbled, still half asleep.   Without thinking, you had leaned up and given him a soft kiss that matched the new morning. His smile was just as sweet. "Go back to sleep, Spence." He patted your hip in response, falling back asleep immediately with you in his arms. You had texted your boss and told him you were using a sick day and settled back down on his chest. When the two of you woke up, everything had changed but nothing was that different.    That was months ago and he was pretty confident that you weren't going anywhere. He knew for a fact that he wasn't.

----

     The countryside of France was nowhere near as romantic as the brochures had you believe. You sat at a rusty table with lukewarm coffee and the smell of cow shit in your nose with none of the offenders in sight. The only thing that made it worth it was when you leaned your head slightly to the left and, in the very corner of your eye, you were able to see a glimpse of red hair. "You keep doing that and our cover is gonna be blown," Nat whispered into her mic. You sighed, looking straight ahead into an empty field once more and went back to pretending you were a tourist admiring the scenery.

   "Italy was better." You leave it at that, not able to risk long sentences as she could. It seemed a bit unfair that she was allowed to read a book while you had nothing but she was supposed to be a regular. Regulars read, tourists awe. There was a hum of agreement in your air and you found yourself smiling at the sky. The two of you had found a moment of peace in Italy, something rare ever since you stepped foot in Europe. Even though you were still on a mission, there was always a mission it seemed, you had to be a couple to find your target. She had worn a long, brown wig that skimmed the bottom of her back and a red dress that reminded you of her signature color. She spoke in another language the entire night, wrapped in your arms as the two of you moved across the dance floor and pretended to be enamored by only each other and not looking for Shield's most wanted. It was hard to know how she felt, what was fake and what was real, but you were sure that you weren't the only one who got a little lost as you danced the night away. It only took two weeks, another country, and a small hum for your suspicions to be proven right.

    The small bubble that had surrounded the café you were at popped suddenly when a group of sleazy men walked in. You refrained from rolling your eyes at the sight of them. It was one thing to be a bad guy but it was almost worse to be such a stereotype and look the part. You sipped your drink calmly as you watched them approach Nat, pushing your protective side down and letting her handle the situation until she said the code word. "Do you speak English, mon ange?"

    You roll your eyes then, his fake French accent leaving you no other choice. It was almost sad how easy these missions were and all because men seemed to think with what was in their pants instead of what was in their heads. Fury sent the two of you out because you were the perfect combo of beautiful and deadly so even if they didn't take the bait, which so far hadn't happened, you'd be able to get the job done. "Almost as good as you." She giggled, no doubt pushing her fake glasses up further to seem nervous.

   The second sleazy man stepped closer, standing behind Natasha without her knowing and you felt your hackles rise. But you waited. The first man leaned forward, grabbing a strand of her hair and tugging slightly like a third-grader, "Come with me and maybe I'll show you a thing or two." You heard the whirr of a weapon behind you but both you and Natasha pretended you didn't. There was someone in Europe smuggling alien tech and the two of you had spent months jumping from country to country collecting the stolen weapons and getting closer to the main source. These two idiots were the last ones before the boss, you had to be careful.

   "But, I'm still on chapter four." She pouted to the man above her though mischief glinted in her eyes. In the blink of an eye, you stood up with mug in hand and slammed it into the second guy's head. At the exact moment, Natasha had slammed the first guys head down onto the steel table and you understood that he was hers to deal with. Which meant you had to get the weapon. You ducked as he threw a punch, lunging for his other hand that he seemed to forget about in the heat of the moment. He wrapped around you the moment you were close, keeping you to his chest with an arm clamped around your neck. They were always so predictable. You brought your head forward, pushing back as hard as you could, effectively breaking his nose. He flinched, dropping the weapon into your waiting hand as he stepped back. As the cherry on top, you swept his feet from under him and held him under your foot, staring him down as the blood pooled from his face.

   "I'd say that was pretty easy, love. How about you?" The first man made his way into your sight as she kicked him into the chair she once sat in.

    "Walk in the park." She smirked. She leaned towards the man, much like he did minutes ago, and the confidence in both of them faded quickly. "Now, tell us where your boss is."

    You pointed the weapon towards the man under you and watched him shiver in fear. You wouldn't use it, you needed them alive and well, but fear was the easiest way to get answers. "You heard the lady. Talk."

 ----

    It took three months before you were allowed back to base. Someone had warned the smuggler and he had stopped all business, leading the two of you on a wild goose chase from Poland to Ukraine. You stepped off the Quinjet, pushing the smuggler roughly into some lower level's arms, and headed towards the exit. "Y/L/N, Fury requires a debrief of your mission!" The lower level, Mark might've been his name, yelled after you. You almost felt bad with how panic he sounded, not knowing what to do with a wanted criminal in his care and disobedient agents. He had to learn one way or another.

   "Don't lose that asshole and that's all the debrief he'll need!" You responded, not even looking back to know that Nat was following right behind you. The two of you were tired, physically and of Fury's bullshit, and the only thing you wanted to do was go home and take a nap. Fury had other ideas.

   Coulson stood in front of you, blocking the exit with nothing but his attitude, and you wanted to scream. It had been half a year of smelly hotel rooms and stupid men, you just wanted to make dinner for your girlfriend that wasn't frozen. "We need Romanoff."

   "Like hell you do." You weren't one to talk back, you had always been the one to stay silent and glare when things weren't going your way. Even Nat was surprised, never seeing you so exhausted.

   "Agent." Coulson's voice didn't waver but you knew that you were about to cross a line if you continued. No one called you Agent unless you were in deep shit. You couldn't find it in yourself to care.

   "You have your big bad, that's all you need." You grabbed Nat's hand, a rare display of affection as if that would stop them from taking her. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we're heading home and she won't be available until next week." You walked past Coulson, not seeing the smirk shared between Nat and him as you did, and headed to wherever your car was. 

   "He's gonna be upset," Nat said after a while, not letting go of your hand as the two of you walked through the compound. It was almost funny how many people did double-takes to see if what they saw was real; the two most ruthless spies shield had, holding hands? Impossible.

   "He can tell me all about it when the week is up." You smiled, kissing her temple as the two of you made it to your car.

     It had been almost a month, a case in Alaska making communication hard for the entire team, and the only call you got was one saying that he was on his way back. That was eight hours ago and you were on the edge of your seat. You always tried to stay up for him, knowing that after a hard case seeing a familiar smile always made him feel better. But there were times where you were already asleep and he made his entrance by climbing in the bed behind you and holding you until the morning. You weren't really sure who it was more for, you or him, and in the end, it didn't really matter. He was perfect, in every way, shape, and form, and you tried not to let his job get in between the two of you. It had been almost three years and it was getting harder to look past everything but, still, you tried. For him.

    The door didn't open until well past midnight and Spencer walked into you knocked out on the couch, halfway onto the floor. He smiled, ignoring the twinge of pain from his freshly cut lip, and placed his bag on the floor. He loved coming home to you no matter the state but his favorite was when you were fast asleep. You could catch up in the morning when the two of you had morning breath and were still half asleep but, for now, all he wanted to do was look at you. His eyes traced every valley and hill on your face, relearning your beauty even though he could never forget it, and like magic, he was already starting to feel more human. He picked you up carefully, something you always questioned as to how he could, and carried you to your bedroom. His heart warmed at the sight of his pajamas already laid out for him and, not for the first time, he wondered what he did to deserve you. He settled on the better after getting ready and, in your sleep, you threw your arm over him and snuggled into his chest. He looked down at you with nothing but adoration, stroking your hair as you fell deeper and deeper into sleep, and he couldn't contain his excitement for the coming days. The team was grounded after such a long case which meant he had all the time in the world with you, jobs be damned. He had plans, terrifying, life-changing plans, and all he could do was hope you liked them.

----

    You woke up with a smile on your face, the weight of his arm letting you know that he was actually here and it wasn't just a dream. His thumb traced the exposed skin of your stomach, the sensation likely what woke you up, and you wondered how long he's been up. You turned to see him immediately, surprising him with your sudden movement, and all you could do was smile. He was a bit beaten up; a cut on his lip and a bruise on his cheek letting you know he got hit by a gun. The worrywart in you wanted to scan every inch of his body to make sure he wasn't too hurt but he pulled you closer, kissing you sweetly despite his injury, and the thought escaped your mind immediately. You pulled back, scrunching your nose as you did, "You have morning breath, love." You whispered, not wanting to break the little bubble that the morning had created.

    "So do you." He whispered back, moving in to kiss you again. You could always tell how a case went by how he kissed you. Rough kisses, the ones that were more teeth clashing than lips meeting, meant someone had died. They would end with the both of you breathless, his eyes squeezed shut because the moment he met yours he knew he would cry. Desperate kisses scared you the most, the ones where the moment the door opened you were being pushed to the closest surface as he tried to touch as much as you as possible because it meant he had almost died. Then there were times where he would come to your door and all he could do was hold you because the victim was too much like you for him to handle. But sweet kisses, sweet kisses like this were the best. He was soft and caring, taking his time relearning your mouth, and that meant everything was fine. It was probably a hard case but, in the end, the good guys won and he just wanted to celebrate by being with you.

    "I missed you." You breathed against his lips, keeping your eyes closed in case he disappeared under your fingertips.

    "I missed you more." He took your hand, leaving kitten like kisses on each one waiting for you look at you. You smiled when you did, unable to keep the happiness hidden when he was right in front of you. "So much that now we have two weeks all to ourselves."

    You sat up, staring at him like he had two heads. "Are you serious?!" He nodded, smiling so brightly that you almost didn't want to kiss him just to see it a little longer. Almost.

    "I'm taking that as you're excited?" You hit him playfully as he laughed, settling down on his chest when the two of you calmed down. He stroked your arm, staring at the ceiling, and you could hear his heartbeat pick up. "What if- What if I wanted to introduce you to the team?" You looked up at him to see if he was serious but he was avoiding your gaze. You never had a problem that they didn't know about you. He liked to keep his life private and, from what he told you, you knew that the moment they found out about you they'd never let him live it down. You couldn't blame him for wanting to keep you to himself and after a while, you never really thought about it. You just enjoyed the stories of his family that he came home with every now and then. Your silence only made him more nervous. "Would," He cleared his throat, "would you still be excited?"

    You leaned up, pecking him on the lips, and looked him in the eyes when you said, "I would be ecstatic." That smile you loved was back and, even though you were extremely nervous at the thought of meeting them, you were so happy to have put that look on his face.

----

    Unbeknownst to you, Spencer had more plans than just introducing you to the team and said other plans were the reason he was fumbling around so much. You stood outside a beautiful house, something quaint and homey that you could only assume was JJ's and watched him wring his fingers. "Hey." You took his hand, swinging it slightly as he looked at you almost frightened, "I'm the one who's supposed to be terrified, not you." You said it with a smile, making sure he knew that you weren't actually terrified. It was nerve-wracking knowing the people you had been hearing about for years were right behind that door but your excitement at meeting them was outweighing everything else.

    He kissed the top of your forehead, pausing for a moment and just breathing. "You look beautiful." He said, squeezing your hand as he did. You had gone simple, not really knowing what the dress code was for something like this. You kissed his hand, letting him know that you were ready whenever he was. He took another deep breath and headed towards the door.

    An excited, smiling blonde was waiting for you before you could even knock and you knew immediately that the infamous Garcia was standing right in front of you. "Ah!" She shrieked, tugging you into a hug that felt way too natural for just meeting. She pulled back, looking you over like a proud mom before hugging you tight again. "It's so nice to finally meet you!!"

    Spencer chuckled from behind you, still holding onto your hand even though you were trying to return Garcia's enthusiastic embrace. "You've only known about her for a week, Garcia."

    She let go of you to point at Spencer, "And that was two years too late, mister. I have catching up to do." He raised his free hand in surrender and gestured for her to continue. She winked at you and stage whispered, "We'll have girl talk later." You giggled, whatever nerves you had flying out the window. "Now, c' mon lovebugs everyone is excited to meet the girl who stole our genius's heart."

    "Is this her house?" You whispered to Spencer as you followed her to where everyone else was.

    He chuckled, "No, it's not hers." There was a blush on his cheeks that you didn't quite understand. He was never one to blush when he was nervous but you'd be lying if you said it wasn't adorable. You were about to ask why he was red all of a sudden when a pair of hands slapped his shoulders from behind.

    "Pretty boy, you didn't tell us she was this out of your league." The man's eyes twinkled as he teased your boyfriend and you finally had a face to the Morgan you heard so much about.

    "I'd argue that he's the one out of league here." You laughed, watching as Morgan rustled Spencer's hair before heading to you.

    "Beautiful and delusional. You really got lucky, kid." He chuckled, opening his arms with a question on his face and you couldn't deny him a hug. He was practically Spencer's big brother. You knew that the reason you still had a boyfriend was because of the man hugging you and that he did everything in his power to make sure he was safe. "Name's Derek, sweetheart. Everyone here calls me Morgan, though."

    "Thank you for protecting him." You whispered, hoping that Spencer couldn't hear you.

    Luckily, Morgan did. "Thank you for being there." You separated, a new understanding between the two of you as you smiled at each other. You had a lot of thank you's to give out tonight.

    "Did I miss something?" Spencer asked, adorably confused. Morgan laughed, hitting his shoulder and leaving to join everyone in the kitchen.

    "Not at all, love." You kissed his cheek and grabbed his hand again, dragging him to the kitchen. It was a bit strange that there were no pictures of family or any real decoration in the living room but you brushed it off and assumed whoever's house this was had just moved in. You'd ask after dinner when you got to know everyone a little more.

    "There they are! The couple of the hour." An older man raised his glass as you entered the room and you hoped you were right to guess that he was Rossi.

    Another blonde laughed as she moved to hug Spencer. You felt your heart tug as you saw him return it and you knew that had to be JJ. She was the one he trusted the most and you knew from experience how rare it was for him to let people in. It was one thing to hear him say he loved them and another to see just how much he did. "Ignore him and Hotch, they've had a bit too much to drink."

    "Not enough, you mean!" Rossi interjected.

    "That explains why Hotch is smiling," Spence said, a little quieter so his boss wouldn't hear.

    She stared at you for a moment while two other women greeted Spencer. She was the only one who knew he was seeing someone, he could never hide much from her, but she never knew your name or what you looked like. She had heard him gush about you from the very first date, she had been there for every insecurity he had and every milestone he didn't know how to celebrate, and seeing you was somewhat staggering. You were having the same experience, only able to look at her as you remembered every story Spence had told you about her boys and how much he cared about them. She had done more than accepted him; she understood him. She let out a breath that sounded like it was supposed to be a laugh, her eyes slightly watery, "I'm JJ."

    "Y/N." You'd be lying if you said you weren't a little emotional too. She hugged you tightly, thanking you for more than you could ever know without saying a word. You hoped she understood that you were doing the same.

    "This is Emily and Tara." She gestured to the girls after the two of you collected yourselves You waved, all hugged out already but, luckily, they didn't seem like they needed one.

    "Heard a whole lot about you this week." Tara smiled. "Couldn't get the guy to stop talking about you once he started."

    "Imagine if we knew the whole time. Oof." Emily shook her head, giving Spencer a small smirk to know she was joking.

    "Quick, before they corrupt you." He moved you away from the girls, leaving them laughing behind him, and headed towards the island where Rossi and Hotch were. "You okay?" He whispered, rubbing the small of your back calmingly.

    "What did I do to deserve you?" You mumbled, somewhat lost in the moment and his eyes.

    "I ask myself that every day." He kissed your temple, smiling when Morgan wolf whistled. "Now let's get something to eat."

----

    The night started to die down and one by one everyone left. You and JJ were still talking over a glass of wine when Spencer came back into the kitchen, having just finished his goodbyes. "You're kidding." You laughed, the wine making it last longer than it should've.

    JJ shook her head violently, making you laugh even more. "Shhh." She held a finger to her lips, sloppily, side-eyeing Spencer as he came back into the room. You mimicked her, tilting in your seat as you did.

    "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?" He sighed.

    "You didn't tell me you tried to date JJ!" You exclaimed, unable to keep your mouth closed. "That's so cute." You drawled it out, your voice way too high pitched but JJ was right with you on the wine drunk front so you weren't thinking too much about it. Garcia had been too but that's why she had to leave, hanging on Morgan as he dragged her to his car. Spencer was probably about to do the same to you.

    "Oh no." He groaned, sitting next to you and pulling your chair closer despite his embarrassment. You leaned into him, out of love and lack of balance, fully ready to ask if you could sleep over at your new friend's house.

    "You guys are so cute." JJ pouted like she was talking about a puppy. Her phone went off and she sighed when she read the text, "Will's here. I gotta get going."

    "Wait." You sat up, staring at her in confusion. She smiled as she saw how nervous Spencer was next to you. "What? I thought this was your house."

    She shook her head and you turned to Spencer for answers. "Spence?"

    The smile on his face was one you knew well. It was the smile he had before he asked you out, the same one he wore when he asked you to be his girlfriend, and when he first asked you to spend the night. It was a smile that led to first, something nervous and small that you saw as only for you. "It's ours." He said outright. You stared at him, blinking slowly while you tried to process what he said. "If you want."

    JJ blew kisses as she rushed towards the door, leaving the two of you alone in the house. In your house. "Ours?" You squeaked.

    He nodded, "I know it's small but I figured we didn't need much space. I know you always wanted to get a cat and your building doesn't allow them and I figured we could start looking after we moved in so that when I'm gone you're not alone alone." He was talking fast, your wine idled mind barely keeping up but with each word the smile grew more and more on your face. "And I should've asked, I really should've just asked, I'm sorry but we've been talking about it more lately and I should've done this years ago but I was scared. Not that I'm not scared now because of course I am but it was different-" You stopped him with a kiss, something slow and sweet that allowed him to take a breath. You touched the side of his face, staring into the eyes of the man you knew you would marry, sitting in your kitchen and you couldn't help the couple of tears that fell out. You looked around, seeing the place with new, hopeful eyes.

    "I love it. I love it so much." You choked out. You grabbed his face and made sure he knew you were telling the truth. There was no room for doubt in him, not with you. Not with this. "I love you."

    "I'm gonna marry you someday." He said absentmindedly like he was just talking out loud and you couldn't hear.

    "Don't wait another three years to."

***** A/N

I hope you enjoyed this, I missed writing for spencer and Im trying to get back into doing things because I want to. let me know what you think and sorry for any mistakes!

Tag List

---

   "Well, aren't you a lovely little surprise this morning." A smile broke out on Lucifer's face the moment he saw you and he was quick to forget whatever Chloe was telling him in favor of walking towards you. It had only been a day since you last saw the man, his arms wrapped around you as he tried to convince you that the serial killer would turn himself in, but still, he acted like it had been ages. When you had finally escaped from his tight grip, you had pouted and told him you wouldn't be able to sleep over for a while; your current case the only thing keeping you up in the coming nights. Needless to say, it was a happy surprise that he got to see you at the station. "I believe there's a filing room with our name on it. If you'd hurry along that way." He gestured like he was directing traffic and you couldn't help but laugh despite the heat in your cheeks from the public display. He never was one to whisper and, if he did, then it was only for something deliciously sinful.

   "Lucifer, leave them alone." Chloe sighed, slapping his shoulder as she joined your little bubble. "I'm sorry, Y/N, I'll try to keep a tighter leash on him." You held in the temptation to laugh even more when she interrupted, Lucifer's face beyond offended. You weren't sure why but no one at the precinct seemed to believe that the two of you were an item. Sure, you weren't the biggest fan of public displays of affection but that didn't mean Lucifer wasn't. Whether it be flirting with you from across the room or tugging you into his side whenever he was close, he always made sure you knew you were his. There was even that one incident where he slapped your ass while he walked by and, while it wasn't unwelcomed, it was a little too much for the environment. Yet, with all of that in your coworkers' faces, they wrapped it up to Lucifer being Lucifer. In Chloe and Dan's case, they did everything in their power to try and stop Lucifer which was what you always found hilarious.

   Lucifer lifted a finger, ready to gesture to you and say something far from appropriate for the workplace. You jumped in before he could, your cheeks not able to get any hotter at this point, "No need, Chloe. He's no harm." His gaze shifted to you, his eyebrow raised in a silent promise of what harm he could be. You held in a sigh, wishing you could take him up on that filing room offer.

   "How's the case going?" Lucifer rolled his eyes and started pacing behind the two of you as you talked shop. You smiled softly at his childish antics. You knew that it just came from a place of wanting to keep you to himself but, unfortunately, the world wasn't so kind to let that happen.

   "It's a tough nut to crack but I got a new lead. I'm hopeful."

   "Yes, well, with a partner like Detective Douche, you'll need all the hope you can get." You and the detective turned together, giving Lucifer the same look of exasperation. "What did I say?" He asked, far too innocently for it to be genuine. The day you got partnered with Dan was, according to Lucifer, the worst day of his life. Despite the dramatics, he did tend to get jealous whenever you spent too much time with the other man. Not because he didn't trust you but just because he didn't like to share.

   Chloe sighed and turned back to you, "If you need any help, let me know okay?"

   You nodded, a smile on your face as you did. You and Chloe had always been close, though it might shock people. The chemistry between her and Lucifer was enough to make any one night stand doubt themselves but to be in a relationship with the man was a whole other obstacle. Admittedly, in the beginning, you were a bit hesitant because of her but Lucifer had let you known his true feelings and that they were only for you. It was hard to doubt much after that. Chloe was first in both of your lives; in yours as a best friend and in his as a partner. It only seemed fair that as a couple you would share her. "I will. You do the same." She smiled and walked away, heading towards Ella and expecting Lucifer to be right behind her. Instead, he was in front of you, looking like an abandoned puppy.

   "What's that face for?" You said, quietly. It wasn't often that he showed when he was upset, often opting for the silent but deadly approach to his feelings, but this was something softer. Something you only ever saw when he just wakes up and wraps his arms around you.

   "There's no face." He muttered, offended that you even suggested such a thing even though there most definitely was a face. "I just didn't expect you to be one so obsessed with their work."

   Dating Lucifer meant a lot of things but, the most important thing was that you had to learn how to read between the lines. You looked around, making sure no one was looking, and when the coast was clear you stood a little taller and kissed him sweetly. "I'll miss you too, Luci."

   He deflated from his puffed up state, smiling down at you with lovesick eyes and you couldn't believe that you got to see this side of him. "See you soon?"

   "Of course." With a final peck, you headed to question a witness, hoping that the case could catch a break and you'd find yourself back in Lucifer's arms in no time. He watched the door shut behind you, an idea on how he could make that happen starting in his head.

----

   When you walked onto the crime scene, the first thing you were expecting to see was the same MO from the past three; bullet to the head, limbs cut off post mortem, scary clean area. What you weren't expecting was Lucifer sitting at a piano playing your favorite song. "Lovely, you're finally here!" He picked up the pace to his song and you were quick to get to him and put a stop to it.

   "What are you doing here?" You whispered, somewhat harshly. You were always a perfectionist and your boyfriend messing with evidence to serenade you was really messing that up.

   "Lucifer thought it would be a good idea if we helped out." Chloe batted at Lucifer's hands, forcing him to stop playing, and all you could do was stare at him. You understood what he was doing, of course, you did, but it still made your blood slightly boil. This wasn't your first case, hell, this wasn't even your first serial killer, you didn't need any help besides your partner's.

   He stared up at you, beyond excited at the thought of working together, and you felt yourself calm down almost instantly. Because, yes, while it was slightly annoying, it came from a good place. That was how most things went with Lucifer when he wanted things done, anyway. "No need for long hours when you have four extra hands to help." He stood up from the piano bench and slithered behind you, his large hands grabbing onto your shoulders in an attempt to give you a massage. "Besides, you're far too stressed. How are you supposed to catch a killer with your back all in knots?" He said it almost frantically, his thumbs becoming aggressive as he worked at one of your 'knots'. And, while you appreciated it after a long day of work, you weren't too happy about it in the middle of a murder scene. Neither was Chloe from how she was glaring bullets at Lucifer.

   "Lucifer." She hissed, looking at him as if he had two heads. His hands stopped and you didn't even have to see his face to know he was looking back at her, annoyed that she had interrupted him. She rubbed her temple, "Y/N, I'm so sorry for all this but I do think we can help."

   "Yeah, okay, I'll catch you guys up." You walked out of Lucifer's grasp, no doubt making him pout, and walked over towards Ella. "Anything different?"

   "'Fraid not, homie. We'll keep looking but this place looks just as spotless as the others." You sighed, nodding as you looked at the poor girl on the floor.

   "Three bodies, so far, all found in this same position." You started, ignoring Lucifer's "Well, that's no fun.". For once, you were happy to have Chloe as a barrier between the two of you. "The body is cut up and the area is always cleaned as if they're going to clean up after themselves and never get around to finishing the job.” You glared at Lucifer before he could say something about always finishing and, just as expected, he stopped in his tracks. You really knew him too well.

   "It's almost like he's taunting us." Chloe thought out loud. You had worked with her when you first became a detective, it's how the two of you became so close, and if it weren't for Lucifer being so distracting you'd be beyond grateful that she was here to help. "'I could hide if I want to but why would I?'"

   You sighed, running your hand down your face as you did. "Exactly." It wasn't often you let cases get to you but you had been on this one for weeks and, still, you had nothing. Nothing but more dead bodies and you couldn't help but feel guilty.

   "Hey." You opened your eyes to see Lucifer crouching in front of you, something soft in his eyes as he traced the side of your face. "We're gonna catch this, vermin. You have my word." Just like that, you felt a small bit of the weight you carried be lifted off your shoulders. Lucifer kept his word, no matter the promise, and that was more relaxing than any massage. When you had first met Lucifer, it felt like a bubble had surrounded the two of you and no one else existed. As time went on and feelings were shared, you thought that feeling would disappear after a while. But, as he stood in front of you, promising to do something he had no interest in just because he knew it would make you feel better; you were stuck in that bubble again. So stuck that you didn't see the silent conversation Ella and Chloe were having right next to you as they watched the interaction take place.

----

   You had a suspect. A real -most likely the killer- suspect after weeks and it was all thanks to Lucifer. He had pulled way too many strings and you didn't even want to ask if any of them were illegal because the guy was right there and all you had to do was get a confession. You walked into the room, placing your file down on the table, and prepared yourself for a long night of questioning. But, before you could even sit down, the suspect sputtered out, "I-I did it. I killed those girls." His eyes absolutely frantic as he did.

   You stood there, more than shocked at the immediate confession. You turned to look at the two-way mirror, where Chloe and Lucifer were, a confused look on your face. Without you knowing, Lucifer gave you a thumbs up, a proud look on his face as if you had pried the truth out of the man's mouth. You turned back to the man, doubt suddenly clouding your mind that he was the right guy. "And what exactly did you do?" You wouldn't put it past Lucifer to tell someone to confess just so you could close the case faster. But, to your surprise, the man started listing off details that had never gone further than you and Ella. Things you had forgotten to tell Lucifer and Chloe in your haste to catch the guy before he could kill again. Somehow, Lucifer was one step ahead of you.

   You walked out of the interrogation room, confused but happy that it was over. You didn't have a chance to collect your bearings before arms were encircling you and your face was smashed against a suited chest. "Well done, love. Another criminal behind bars all thanks to you."

   You tried to move away but all his grasp would allow is for you to turn around so he was behind you and you could see the detective. "Is this usually how it goes?" You asked, hoping her answer was yes so something could make sense because no matter how much Lucifer loved flirting; this amount of affection was never shown in public.

   Chloe covered her mouth, trying to wipe away as a smile as she watched Lucifer hug you from behind like it was nothing. "I mean, if there's something in it for him then, yeah, my suspects start talking a lot faster." She pointed towards the scene in front of her, not sure exactly what it was she was seeing, to begin with. "But, all of this. That hasn't ever been a part of it."

   "So, what exactly are you getting out of this Lucifer? And, please, don't say what I know you want to." People were starting to notice that, not only, was Lucifer hugging someone but he was daring anyone to question him while he did. In the right circumstance, it would be adorable.

   "I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about." He stopped hugging you, sensing the start of you being annoyed, but still kept an arm around you. "The satisfaction of a job well done is enough for me."

   "I thought you didn't lie?" You looked up at him, feeling yourself forget where you were as you stared into his eyes.

   "Now, I didn't say the satisfaction had to be mine." He caressed your cheek with the back of his hand, holding your face after so you had no choice but to keep looking at him. "I'm nothing if not a selfless lover."

   You giggled, actually giggled, and Chloe felt she had to step in. She knew where this led, she'd seen it too many times, and she didn't want you to get sucked into the tornado that was Lucifer Morningstar. "Okay, this seems a bit excessive, Lucifer. Even for you."

   Lucifer exhaled in a way that spelled nothing but trouble. "I mean, honestly, how dull must you all be?" You placed your hand on his chest, holding him back but also reminding him that there was no need to be hostile. "The truth is detective,  I can be as excessive as I please when it comes to my relationships. Thank you, kindly." Though, you were sure he was aiming for threatening; he sounded like a petulant child and you couldn't help but laugh. It only made it worse when you turned to Chloe and saw her shocked face.

   She turned to you, waiting for your denial but it wouldn't come. "We've been together for a while now, Chlo."

   "So, this whole time I thought he was harassing you. You two were dating?"

    "Yes. Quite annoying by the way." You hit his chest and, because he loved to humor you, he pretended it actually hurt.

   "I thought you guys would catch on at some point. It's not like he's great at hiding it." You said, finally managing to separate yourself from Lucifer.

   "It's Lucifer, Y/N. I just thought he was going the extra mile with you cause you were playing hard to get."

   "Quite the opposite actually." You turned and glared at him, the comment far from necessary. Chloe shook her head but smiled at you nevertheless. She wished you luck and went to her desk, having paperwork of her own to do before the day ended. You turned to Lucifer, an eyebrow raised and arms crossed. "What did I do now?" He sighed, childishly.

   "Did you do all of this-" You pointed towards the interrogation room, "just so you had an excuse to let everyone know we're together?"

   "No." You placed your hands on your hips, waiting for the truth to inevitably come out. "Well, not at first."

   You laughed, adoration no doubt in your eyes as you looked at the man. "What am I going to do with you, Morningstar?"

   He pulled you close, his hands replacing yours on your hips and his forehead pressed against yours. If you didn't have an audience before, then you definitely had one now, but you didn't care. It was the end of the workday, you had just caught a killer, and you deserved a little love. "I can think of a couple of things." He whispered, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

   "I love you." You mouthed the words, wanting them just for the two of you and not the entire precinct.

   The mischief faded as he rubbed your noses together, something small and sweet that was only ever there for you. "I love you too."

********

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed. Let me know what you thought! Requests are open and if you really like what I do then I’d appreciate if you bought me a coffee (in bio) Sorry for any mistakes :)

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     "Can you please tell me why you didn't show up when I asked?" Lucifer barged into the restaurant like he owned the place and, honestly, he probably did for all you knew. However, the didn't excuse him interrupting your shift just to throw a tantrum which you knew was coming.

      You ignored him, smiling reassuringly to your customers as you put their food in front of them. "Enjoy your meal." You rushed back to the counter to get the next order and he was quick to race behind you.

     The only problem was, in your hurry, you had forgotten how much he absolutely hated being ignored. "Hello? Honestly, have you gone deaf? Do I need to raise my voice because I was certain everyone heard me-" He started to obnoxiously grow louder until you had no choice but to turn around and give him attention. He fell back into his normal posture, a smug look on his face despite the annoyed one on yours. "Ah, there we go. Now, where were we?"

    "What do you want, Lucifer?" You hissed, keeping your voice down though it didn't really matter; he had brought plenty of attention towards the two of you with his yelling. "If you can't tell, I'm working."

    "Yes, but I told you to come meet me at Lux." He said it so seriously that you had to take a moment and pause. All you did was look at him, waiting to see if maybe he'd understand just how crazy what he said was. "Would you stop looking at me like that and take that ridiculous outfit off so we can go." He gestured towards the door.

    "I am working" You said it slowly, thinking maybe he'd understand you. You had already taken too much time out of your shift to talk to him, you probably wouldn't be able to get a break now because of him.

    "Yes, I heard you the first time. I don't see how that's relevant here, love."

    "Lucifer, I don't have time for this." You sighed, turning around and grabbing the loaded tray behind you. "I will come to Lux when I get off, maybe."

    "Maybe?" He scoffed, following you like a confused puppy.

    "Yes, maybe. Because I actually work instead of dancing and drinking in a club I own." You placed the plate of fries and drink on the table with a fake smile, more annoyed by the man next to than anything. You hoped this didn’t affect your tips. "And when my job- that I need to be able to live, by the way- is over I tend to be too tired to be your little pet." You snapped your head towards him, tilting it sarcastically. "Do you understand that or should I explain it a different way?"

    "Crystal clear, love." You were the only one who ever talked to him like that, besides Maze of course, and it's why he let you stick around so long. Though, it always confused you that when other people acted the same as you, they left screaming. He nodded to you in dismissal and walked away. You let out the breath you had held, turning to apologize to your customers when he was suddenly back and stealing a fry from the table. "Though, I must say, you're such a good pet to have." He threw the fry in his mouth and left you standing open mouthed as he walked away. You definitely weren't getting a tip after that.

------

    It was late and you were tired but, somehow, you still found yourself walking into the nightclub at it's prime hour. The headache you left work with only grew stronger as you walked through the doors and music was blasted towards. You closed your eyes, gyrating bodies pressed against you if they didn't push by, and you were wondering why you were even here. "My pet!" The accented voice carried over the noise, forcing you to open your eyes and see the joy on Lucifer's face. It would've been nice to think that he was happy to see you but that wasn't really something Lucifer felt. Not towards you, at least.

    You rolled your eyes and made your way towards him. "You're not gonna let that go, are you?" You yelled. He danced closer towards you, probably too close, but you were pinned by his gaze and couldn't move.

    "Who am I to deny you such a great title?" He smiled down at you, mischief twinkling in his eyes. If it was anyone else, you would slap them and be on your way. Even if you didn't have feelings for Lucifer, which you hated to admit, he was a man that could say or do anything and get away with it. There was something about, some kind of charm, where a nickname like 'pet' was just the same as him calling you 'love'.

    "Why did you want me to come?" He smirked, ignoring you in favor of taking a drink and gesturing for you to join him in his dance. You shook your head, too tired to even sway, but he wasn't having it.

    "Must you be such a buzzkill." There was some anger in his tone but you ignored it. Your headache wasn't getting any better and it didn't seem like you needed to be there in the first place. Lucifer or not, you needed to go home. You turned to go, not bothering with a goodbye that he'd throw another tantrum over, when he took your arm and pulled you into his chest. You caught yourself and tried to push off him but his hand had dropped his glass to was hold you against him. He lowered his head to whisper in your ear, his voice dripping with something akin to hunger, "Now where do you think you're going, love?"

    You squinted at him, the green of the club blurring around him as if it refused to interrupt his presence, Sometimes, in moments where he pulled you into the tornado that was him, like now, it was easy to see him as a fallen angel. "You're drunk." It was rare that he let himself even touch you, let alone be so affectionate, if that's what you could call it.

    He pressed his forehead to yours, staring into your soul through your eyes and smirking. "The devil could never." He leaned back just the slightest, his hand now on your hip as he moved you along to the beat of the music. You had almost forgotten where you were and, more importantly, that you weren't alone.

    "Lucifer-" You tried but he hushed you immediately, another drink in his hand as he pressed a finger to his mouth.

    "Ah, ah." He grabbed your hand and twirled you around. "We're dancing."

    "One dance and then you tell me why you needed me." You told him rather than asked, poking his chest as you said it.

    Something glinted in his eyes as he downed the drink before giving you his full attention. "One dance it is, pet."

------

    Honestly, you should've known better than to dance with the devil. He was addicting in the best and worst way and while it was technically only one dance; it had lasted for hours. The drinks that magically appeared for him started to appear for you and, by the end of the night, you were too trashed to go back home. "I feel like it's still kinda a lie." You slurred, slumped against his chest in the elevator on the way to his penthouse. You weren't that drunk; you weren't even in heels, you could definitely still walk. But you would take any excuse to be close to him.

    "It's not my fault you lost track of time." The doors opened and he helped you to the couch. What he didn't expect was you pulling him down with you. You weren't strong enough to actually do it but you did make him budge and you counted that as a win.

    You huffed and dropped his arm, giving up on trying to get him to join you on the couch. "You were supposed to tell me something."

    "Ah, yes. It's probably good that you're not sober for this." he settled down next to you and the small sober you in the back of your head woke up a little at his words. What could he do that would warrant you needing to be drunk? "Do you know that song? Ain't no rest for the wicked, I believe?"

    "Money don't grow on trees." You said seriously, continuing the song without thinking about it. It was one of your favorites.

    He chuckled, "Yes, certainly not for the likes of you." He sat back on the couch, crossing his legs and looking at you like he wanted to see your reaction. If your mind wasn't a daze, you would've been stressed as to what reaction he was watching out for. "You live here now." He stated, staring at you with no cracks in his face.

    You laughed, because how could you not. The laughter only died down when you saw just how serious his face was and then the panic, and some anger, started to surface. "I'm sorry, what?"

    "Maze moved out and there's an opening. Though we could always share a bed." He winked but you had no time to relish in it.

    "That's what you wanted to tell me?" He nodded but there was something still bothering you. It took awhile for you to realize what, his announcement not sobering you up enough. "What do you mean 'now'?"

    "I had your things moved in." He tilted his head as if you were stupid to even ask. "If Maze can have the Detective as a roomie then it's only fair that I have one as well."

    There was so much to unpack, like the fact that he already moved you in without ever asking, but that's not what bothered you the most. "I can't afford living here, Lucifer."

   "Yes, Y/N, that's the point." He sighed, annoyed now.  "You can finally get rid of that awful job and actually answer when I call."

     "This is all because I couldn't answer you today!?" You looked at him like he was crazy though with how unaffected he was by it, you could've had nothing but a blank expression on your face. You stood up, tripping over yourself slightly. "I need to go home."

    "Well, you know where Maze's old room is." You were going to argue with him, tell him that no, you meant your actual house, but he lifted his eyebrow knowing exactly what you were thinking. You weren’t sure if it was his weird voodoo or if he actually knew you but, either way, he always won. You sighed and made your way to Maze's room, that was more like a whole other house, and fell onto a new mattress surrounded by all your stuff. When you woke up and were sober, you were going to have a very serious conversation with a certain someone about how none of what he did was okay. Yet, as you fell deeper into the mattress, the frustration you were supposed to feel melted away and you fell asleep almost instantly.

-------

    You woke up, groggy with a piercing headache that made you wish you were still asleep. You groaned, rolling over to the side, only to shoot up when you saw all the unpacked boxes around you. You got up and started rifling through them, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Lucifer hadn't actually done as he said. But as you pulled out item after item that was yours, there was no such luck. The only thing you didn't own in the room was the mattress you had slept on because apparently giving you a place to stay wasn't enough for the man. Speaking of which; you had to find him. "Lucifer!" You yelled into the empty room, immediately regretting it as your headache made itself known once again. You groaned, your "Lucifer Morningstar!" more pitying than threatening. It's probably why he answered to that one.

    "Ah! You're finally awake." He smiled, his arms open wide as he walked towards you with barely any clothing on. He was wearing a robe, the sash trailing behind him uselessly, and boxer that hung way too low. There was no way you could live there with that being teased in front of you everyday. Well, that was one reason at least. "I thought you were going to sleep through the day."

    You glared at him, more so because you were still half asleep and not because you were actually mad. It was always hard for you to stay mad at Lucifer, even if he deserved it. "Wait," The gears in your head took a while to turn but when they did, you raced to find some kind of clock. "What time is it?!"

    "Little after noon. I decided to follow your lead and sleep in a little." He watched you race back to your room, tripping over your pants legs as you tried to change quickly. He laughed darkly as he followed you, his robe falling off his shoulders as he did. "I always did like how to the point you were, love."

    You stood up, wrinkled shirt in your hand as you pointed at him. "No." You said like you were talking to a disobedient dog. He looked at you like you personally offended him and, knowing him, you probably had by denying him. "I'm late for work and I need to hurry up and leave so I can beg them not to fire me." You mumbled while trying to collect yourself.

    "The only one you should be begging is me." You raised an eyebrow at him, not having the time to deal with his flirting. He sighed, annoyed, and deflated against the door frame. "There's no need to rush just to quit some silly job."

    You pocketed your phone that was thankfully charged and glared at the mess that was in the mirror; it was going to have to work. "What part of anything that's happening made you think I was quitting my job?"

    "The part where I told you, you don't have to anymore." He walked behind you as you raced to the elevator. "You're welcome, by the way." He said sarcastically.

    "Ohh, just you wait until I get back." You pressed the elevator button, angrier than you actually were. You pointed at him through the closing doors, "We will be talking about that and it won't be a good one."

-------

    "I just don't understand what their problem is." Lucifer had gone to Linda's office after you had rushed out of the house. It only seemed right to go to her; she often had the answers when he couldn’t find them himself for whatever reason. "I mean, I've given them everything. A place to stay, an income, freedom, really-" He paced the length of the room, the doctor watching him with shocked eyes. Never in her career had she met a man that was so arrogant and oblivious at the same time. Then again, she had never been the therapist to the devil either. "-and they run back to that place and scold me like a dog." He fell back onto the couch, pure confusion on his face as he continued, "They even turned me down for sex." He gestured towards himself as if to say 'Me!'. In her head, Linda made a note to give you a medal or a pat on the back, at least. "Can you believe that?"

    "Have you taken a moment to think about how they would feel about all this?" She pushed up her glasses and held in a sigh. His feelings towards you was always a touchy subject, especially since he refused to admit what he knew was true. "From what you've said it doesn't seem like you ever asked if they wanted any of that."

    "Of course, Y/N wants that! Who wouldn't?" He crossed his legs and started to gesture wildly with his hand as he hit his points. "There's no more annoying customers and long hours. They never have to worry about another bill or missed call; it's the perfect scenario."

    "Missed call?" The doctor hummed, hoping this was the moment where she could get him to admit how he felt out loud.

    "Yes, I find it hard to believe that they can miss a call when we live in the same building." He rolled his eyes like she was being the dull one.

    "Could you explain to me exactly why you're so enamored with Y/N?" She leaned forward, wanting to pluck the answers right out of his mouth. "They don't share the same effects as the detective so why?"

    He squinted towards her, suddenly suspect. That was nothing new for when she started to pry. "What are you up to, Doctor?"

    "Just humor me."

    He sighed and looked towards the window, actually giving the question some thought. "The only other person who talks to me the way they do is Maze."

    "And how is that? With respect?"

    "Without fear." He answered immediately. He didn't realize it before but after saying it; that was the reason. Even the detective had hesitancy in her voice every now and then, how could she not with the mysteries that continues to pile around him? But Y/N, Y/N never showed any hint of fear. You had walked in on interrogations, seen people run for the hills at the sight of him, you had even seen a flicker of fire in his eyes. Yet, you continued to stand up to him like you had the strength of a thousand men. You smirked when he yelled, pulled when he pushed, you sassed him like no other human would and it was because of that that he kept you around. "It's instinct but they seem to not feel that."

    "Or maybe they just ignore it." She jumped in, smiling slightly. "Maybe they feel something else instead that overpowers that."

    "Did you not hear me when I said they denied my offer of sex? Y/N doesn't feel any lust towards me-"

    "What about the other 'l' word?" Linda interrupted. Lucifer stopped in his tracks, staring at her as if she had two heads. She leaned back, her smirk finally letting itself be known on her face. "Maybe you feel it as well?"

    He stood up quickly, turning and waving as he headed to the door. "Great session Doc but I have previous engagements to attend to."

    "Why else would you move them in!?" She yelled after him, knowing the question wouldn't fall on deaf ears.

-----

    You returned to Lucifer's late at night, tired but still employed. The elevator doors opened and you were surprised to see nothing but a dark room. There were no gyrating bodies, no flashing lights, or orgies in the corner. There was just a slumped body at a piano with an almost empty glass in front of him. You sighed and made your way over to him, not wanting to argue but knowing that it was inevitable. You sat on the piano bench next to him, not saying anything for a moment. It was nice to be in silence with him, sometimes it felt like you learned more about him in moments like this than when you talked throughout the night. He was the first to break the silence, "Do you still have that awful job?" His voice was barely over a whisper but anything else would be too loud in the space then. It had turned intimate, the only people in the world being the two of you.

    "Thankfully, yes." He nodded but said nothing else. You stared at the keys in front of you, tracing them but not daring to press down. He watched your hands, completely fixated. "Why did you move me in?"

    He laughed though it sounded more like a scoff. "Y'know the doctor asked me the exact same question today."

    "Do you have the answer?"

    "The only person more wicked than the devil is the people who fraternize with him." He spoke into his cup like you weren't even there and his words were just an afterthought.

    "Are you back on that song?" You tried to hold in your laugh but it was truly ridiculous.

    "It got me thinking and so did Linda, I suppose." He thought out loud. "I've condemned you to an eternity of suffering for what?" His crazed eyes met yours and you held your breath. You had never seen him so emotional over someone that wasn't himself. When you didn't reply he did scoff, "Because I enjoy you? There no good reason to do such a thing."

    You placed your hand on his knee, attempting to stable him after the spiral he was putting himself into. "I enjoy your company too." He stared at your hand so you quickly took it away. Instead, you took the drink of his hand and finished the shot that was in it. You were going to need it for this conversation. "It's just a bit much for someone to tell you to quit your job and to live with them."

    He groaned, "I'm realizing that."

    "What else are you realizing?" You had never seen him so human. You had grown used to him thinking that he was the devil but you never thought anything of it. Everyone had their things. But there was no denying that something about Lucifer Morningstar wasn't of this world. This, however, was the most human you've ever seen him.

    "That I might feel more than just lust for you." He let out between clenched teeth, as if it hurt him to admit. Meanwhile, your heart started to speed up because there was no way he was saying what you thought he was. "Linda had the audacity to use the phrase 'other "l" word' so take that as you will."

    'Other 'l' word' you mouthed, not wanting to say it out loud but wanting to make sure it was real. You nodded to yourself after gathering your thoughts. It may be the worst decision you could ever make but there was no way in hell you were going to pass this up.

    "Okay."

    "Okay? The devil tells you he might be in love with you and all you have to say is okay?!" You smirked the moment the word actually left his lips and followed it with your own. You kept it soft and sweet, more of a peck than an actual kiss, because he deserved something slow.

    You pulled away with a smile on your face but you stayed close. "I might be in love with the devil. Sorry if it took a while to process."

    His hand covered your hip as his eyes searched your face for some kind of lie. "What is it you desire?" He whispered, something vulnerable in his tone.

    "A date." You escaped his hold and stood up, heading backwards towards your room that you were suddenly okay with. Well, not completely but that was a talk for another day. "Can you handle that?"

You couldn't wrap your head around it. It was absolutely crazy, right? There was no way the man you loved, your best friend, was actually Oliver Queen. Or rather he wasn't Oliver Queen? You closed your eyes tightly, trying to ward off the impending headache while still trying to understand what was happening. They had switched bodies or lives, somehow. At least that's what they thought. But if you were listening to what they were saying then the Barry Allen you knew was Barry Allen, up until this morning when they were forced into this reality and he turned into Oliver Queen. You groaned, the headache now pounding behind your eyes. "Y/N." You opened your eyes to see Oliver, no, Barry, looking at you with pain you never thought you would see on the vigilante's face. Though it was all too common to see on the flash's. He stepped forward, the hurt look only worsening when you took a step away from him. "I know it's a lot but I need you to believe us right now."

"Maybe we should just run a couple tests, yeah? " Iris interjected, stepping in between you and the two vigilantes. She looked to Caitlin desperately, "We can do that right?"

Caitlin nodded quickly, "Yeah, yeah, we can do that." She ushered the heroes to the med bay but Oliver Queen still tried to look back at you.

"What do you think?" Iris stood next to you while the others followed Caitlin. The two of you had surprisingly gotten closer after her and Barry broke up, everyone expecting that you would give her the third degree as the honorary best friend. Instead, she had confronted you about your feelings, stating that the fact he reciprocated them was one of the reasons she had to end things. You didn't believe her then and, if this whole body swap thing checked out, then you definitely didn't believe it now. The two of you had been each other's rocks when it came to Barry Allen and the world that came with him, this was no different.

"I think that Oliver Queen has never shown that he knew I existed until today." You replied. She nodded,  rubbing your arm before she went to join the rest of them.

"We're going to have to lock them up." The accent startled you from behind. You hadn't realized that Sherloque hadn't followed them. He gestured towards them, "They'll probably ask you to subdue Mr. Allen."

You shook your head, "I won't." He quirked his eyebrow but gave no response. "No matter what Barry it is, I won't do that to him." He smirked, the way he always did when he solved a mystery no one else knew existed, and you tried not to roll your eyes. "I'm gonna go get some air." You mumbled, leaving before he could say anything else. You had to think… a lot.

-------

What was supposed to be a simple break somehow turned into you walking all the way home. Not exactly the best place to go when you wanted to stop thinking about Barry, especially since the two of you lived together. When they had broken up, they wanted each other to have everything they shared which was basically the opposite of every split couple out there. In the end, Iris kept their house and Barry moved in with you. It was supposed to be for a couple months but as the months slowly morphed into a year, neither one of you wanted him to leave. So, he stayed and you never regretted it for a second. That is, until you realized that that morning instead of waking up to your best friend, you might've woken up to Oliver Queen in your living room instead.

You weren't exactly sure what to believe still. Apart of you always wanted to believe in Barry, no matter what face he wore, because when it came down to it; you trusted him more than anyone. But it was always safer, for everyone, to take precaution. Even if that precaution meant throwing the two vigilantes into the time vault. You sighed, it was times like this where you wondered how Iris did it. How she managed to be in love with Barry and not worry every second, to not let her emotions run her every decision. She was stronger than you ever could be, another reason you knew it could never work out with Barry. "You're doubting yourself again." You jumped, clutching your chest as you turn to see Oliver. "You're jumpy today." He smirked.

"I have good reason to be." He held his hands up in surrender, playfully, an easy smile on his face. Maybe you were looking for it too much, but it was so easy to see your Barry when he did stuff like that.

"I'm not gonna argue with you there." He carefully sat down next to you and you wondered when they were going to say this was all a joke. Or when Iris and Cisco were going to burst through your door and knock the green arrow out. "I know this is hard to understand."

You ignored the look in his eyes for answers, "What did they find? There's no way they would've let you go if they found something."

He smiled sadly, "They found nothing and they still don't believe us. Oliver thought his best chance would be to talk to Iris. So, I went looking for you." You didn't want to connect the dots that your heart so desperately wanted you to; that the real Barry chose you because maybe that wasn't the case.

"How'd you know where to find me?" The man in front of you was Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow. Yet, the more he talked and the more you were simply with him, apart of you deep down knew that wasn't the case.

He laughed, "You always come back here when you need to think. It's a lot harder to catch up with you without my speed."

You cracked a smile without thinking and, for a moment, it felt normal. You knew it wasn't going to last long and from the look on, maybe, Barry's face, he knew it too. "Tell me something no one but us would know." You stared him in the eyes, waiting. "Not Oliver, not Iris, just us."

The blue haze of Cisco's vibe started in the corner of the room, starting a time for Barry to say something and say it fast. No matter how tough he was, the Green Arrow could be taken down a lot faster than the Flash. Especially by surprise. He still hadn't noticed the stretched out arm that was coming towards him. Instead, he looked you dead in the eye, smiled, and said "I love you." right before Ralph knocked him out.

--------

You went back to Star Labs with Ralph and the unconscious Green Arrow, more confused than you thought you could be. His statement was general, it could mean anything. Well, not anything, but it wasn't something only the two of you knew. Everyone knew that Barry loved his friends, Barry loved everyone. It didn't make sense for him to use that as his ticket out of the time vault. Though, you'd be lying if you said you weren't secretly hoping that that was Barry down there. And that he meant it the way you always wanted him to.

"So what's the plan?" Iris asked when Ralph came back up from the vault.

"We're going to look for any reason they might be," Caitlin gestured with her hands for a bit, "like this."

"There's been some weird ass weather going on. Red sky, crazy lightning. We think it might be connected"  Cisco swiveled his chair over to Caitlin and the two of them got to work.

"So you think they can be telling the truth?" It was the first thing you had said since getting back, too lost in your thoughts to contribute anything.

Everyone looked to each other before they looked at you, the simple action saying enough; they didn't. Iris put her hand on your shoulder. "We don't know yet. But we're going to try and figure it out."

Everyone separated then, each with their own job to do; yours being to watch the security camera of the vault. You listened as they argued, like an old married couple you might add, and couched each other through their different skills. They were going to escape no matter what, there was no stopping that, but you could stop them from escaping to another Earth. You just hoped you could get there faster than Oliver could learn how to phase.

It was perfect timing really, the two showing up just as you grabbed the transporter. Oliver groaned in frustration while Barry looked at you in desperation. It was getting a lot easier to separate them. "Y/N, please."

"I can't let you guys go." Even as you said it, you weren't sure why you were stopping them. Maybe because it was the right thing to do or maybe because you just wanted answers.

"Y/N, deep down you know this isn't us." He stepped closer to you, a look in his eyes that you only ever saw in Barry's. Your Barry's. "You know something isn't right." He whispered.

"I don't know what I know anymore." You slumped, not only talking about the two of them anymore.

And, just like always, Barry knew exactly what you were talking about. He lifted you head, making you look at him and his too sweet smile. "You've always known. You just didn't want to believe it."

You scoffed, "I always believe you." It was the truth and you both knew it. From the moment you saw Oliver, you knew something was wrong. Just like the moment Barry said those words, you knew what he meant.

"Even now?" He had always had the power to make you feel like it was only ever the two of you in the world. This was no different. Sure, he didn't look like himself and the person who did was currently pacing a hole into the floor, but he was your Barry. There was no doubt about it.

You kissed him, it was quick and a shock to the both of you, but it was just right for the moment. When he was himself again, you'd have all the time in the world for that. He just needed to fix reality first. You pulled back, smiling like a lovesick idiot. Lucky for you, the same smile was on his face too. "Even now." You whispered.

You dropped the transporter in his hand, to which Oliver gave a very gruff "Finally" causing the both of you to laugh.

"I hope you know when you fix everything we are having a serious discussion on the right time for love confessions."

He opened the portal and turned to you, "You still haven't said it back."

------

Spencer had changed after, well, everything. It was understandable; jail as an innocent man was nowhere near sunshine and rainbows and his mother wasn't getting any better. But despite the pain that came from those experiences, that continued to come, that wasn't the change you saw. Somehow, he managed to be more distant and closer than he had ever been, at the same time. At first, you didn't notice it; you were too worried about him in general to analyze every little thing he did. It wasn't until after a case, when everyone was tired and just wanted to erase the entire past week, that you did.

You had just gotten back to your desk, the others already in their cars leaving to their loved ones, when you turned to see Spencer waiting for you. You smiled, shouldering your bag, and walked over to him. "You didn't have to wait y'know."

He had smiled back, though it was no longer as bright as it once was. "I know."

He walked you to your car which wasn't new. He had always been that much of a gentleman and if the two of you were ever the last ones, he was happy to walk with you. It's one of the reasons you fallen for him. What was different was the hug. You had hugged Spencer before, the whole team had, he was comfortable enough with all of you to accept them. But that was just it, he accepted the hugs but he never doled them out. You had turned to thank him the way you always would and were engulfed in his long arms. You were surprised at first but you were never one to turn down a hug, especially not from him. There was a strange desperation to it and you weren't sure if it was coming from you or him. It was obvious that neither of you wanted it to end, for what reasons you weren't sure.  When you did separate there was something about his expression that you couldn't quite understand but just as quick as it came, it left and so did he. You had chalked it up to the case, it had taken a toll on everyone and he just wanted comfort. Looking back, you were just in denial.

-------

After that first time you started to realize it more and more. The constant attempts at affection that, for anyone else, wouldn’t have warranted questioning. No one bats an eye when there are side hugs and handshakes but it was different with Spencer. He had started to linger when he had to let go, his grip tight, and with no clue as to why in his eyes.  The others started to notice when he brought you coffee. Again, it wasn't anything new. He was the sweetest man you knew and when he had time in the morning he would bring you a cup. However, he would always place it on your desk with a soft smile and nod away your thanks. That morning, he had handed it to you, the same desperation you had felt in the hug clouding his eyes. You had grabbed for it without thinking, too focused on the case file in front of you, and your hands had overlapped. Spencer wasn't as bad as he once was when it came to people touching him, especially when it came to the team, but there were still moments where he would react. Usually when it was out of his control. You had quickly looked up when you felt more than just the warmth of the drink, ready to apologize, but the soft smile was still in place.

"Thanks Spence." You took the drink and he nodded your thanks away, like nothing had changed, and maybe to him it hadn't. But you weren't the only one to notice the exchange, JJ side eyeing you while attempting to hide her shock.

She had brought it up to you at lunch. "What happened earlier with the coffee?" In a world full of profilers, every little thing was important. It was sometimes too much.

"I don't really know. I wasn't thinking." Spencer walked into the kitchen before you two could continue the conversation, both of you smiling at him as he entered.

He returned the smile and your own dulled to match it. It hurt not to see it as bright as it could be, you hoped that one day you’d see it again. He went to the cabinet behind you, touching the small of your back to excuse you. Not much to the normal eye but for you and JJ it was another one of those moments. Spencer was the type to wait silently next to someone, maybe even have polite small talk, until the other person moved. When he left the kitchen, JJ turned to you in excitement. "Are you two together?"

You shook your head, "No, stuff like that has been happening a lot more recently."

"Maybe he finally realized his feelings for you and this is his way of showing you." She smirked, not thinking too much into it.

You scoffed, "Yeah right." Even if that was the case, which you doubted, there  was something else at play. You could feel it. Spencer was never one for casual touches, something had changed, and you wanted to make sure it came from a good place.

---------

Before you could ask him, the team was called on a case. It wasn't too bad, you had stopped the unsub before he could hurt anyone else and the team was all safe. Yet, the air still felt tense. You had opted out of drinks with the team, just wanting to stay at home and binge watch tv while eating take out. Spencer had stopped you before you could leave.

"Hey, you okay?" He was always the one to see right through you, even when you yourself didn't know how you felt. It was sometimes scary how well he knew you.

"Yea, I'm good, Spence." You didn't know why you felt the way you did. It was a good case, you should want to celebrate but there was a weight you couldn't shake off. Like everything from the past months decided to make itself known then.

He looked at you, searching your eyes, and, for a second, your bright eyes matched his dull ones. You had no right to feel the way you did, Spencer had been through hell and back. You should be trying to comfort him not the other way around. "I'm always here for you, Y/N."

Your laugh was wet, you couldn't look him in the eye anymore, afraid he would see something he shouldn't. You were probably already too late. You wiped at your eyes even though there was nothing there, a preemptive action. "I should be telling you that."

His laugh was short but genuine. He stroked the side of your cheek, "Yeah but I already know it." He leaned down and placed a kiss on your cheek. You were sure you had stopped breathing. "Good night Y/N." He whispered.

You watched him walk away, stopping yourself from touching your cheek. "Are you?" You said after him. He stopped, only turning his head to look back at you. You shrugged, "Okay?" The two of you stood there for a while, neither of you knowing quite what to say. So you gestured behind you towards the exit, "Wanna join me for some take out and tv?"

He had turned, his face warm, "I'd like that."

--------

It was half way into a season of Doctor Who when you got up the courage to ask him. The two of you sat on your couch, close but not touching, empty take out containers surrounding you. You had shuffled to look at him, your knee touching his leg. He paused the tv.

"Why have you been so touchy?" You didn't know how to say it but that definitely wasn't how you should've. You grimaced, "I don't mean like- I mean affectionate, I guess."

"So you noticed?" He was neutral, no hint at what was going on underneath. That was another problem with profilers, they know how to hide the emotions they want to.

"Kinda hard not to." You shrugged. "You don't have to tell me, I'm just worried."

His eyes shot to yours then, hurt drowning in them. You sucked in a breath, wanting to pull him into a hug immediately. "What does that say about me? That showing affection worries people."

"It's not like that Spence." You struggled to find the right thing to say again. "It's just that we know this isn't the usual for you."

"You mean it's not normal." He said under his breath.

"No." You said immediately. "That's far from what I mean."

He took a deep breath and nodded to himself, "I know it is." He turned to you again, "Things have just been different."

"Different how?" He hesitated, his body seizing up with the effort. "You can tell me anything, you know that Spence." You put your hand on his knee for comfort and when he put his own over yours, you hid your surprise perfectly.

He clutched onto your hand, "After everything, it seems so useless to keep everyone at a distance. To flinch at the idea of actually showing how much I care." He looked at your hands, a small smile on his face. "But at the same time, it's because of all of it that I want to keep all of you safe."

"Away from you doesn't mean safe, Spence." You said quietly. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, your focus torn between his words and the way his thumb stroked over your knuckles. It made sense, that after everything he'd want to show everyone how much he really cared. For him, putting aside his discomforts was the way to do that.

"I did some really bad things Y/N." The shame and guilt that coated his words stung. You moved closer, using your free hand to make him look at you.

"You did what you had to do to survive." You were the closest you had ever been to him, your noses only a couple inches apart.

"How can you believe that?" You were sure his eyes flickered to your lips but it could've just been your imagination.

"I have never believed in anything the way I believe in you." It came out too strong, you were supposed to say that you had never believed in anything more than that. The closeness and his eyes staring into your soul distracted you, possibly for the better.

His kissed you so softly that, at first, you didn't even think he had moved. It was a whisper before the promise. His hand faintly touched the side of your face, not directing just holding, and you felt like you were floating. The promise came when he pulled you closer, the desperation you had seen and felt so often, bleeding into you as his delicate kisses became almost rough. You let go of his hand to grasp onto his face with both of yours, one slipping into his hair just because you could. For so long you wondered if you would ever have this and now that it was here, you were sure you were dreaming. You were kneeling on your couch, pressing up against the genius of your dreams as he poured every emotion he had ever felt into your lips. There was no way it was a reality.

You pulled back, both of you out of breath but smiling in a way where neither of you would be stopping anytime soon. For a second, you saw a glimpse of his old smile, the light taking over his face. He put his forehead against yours and closed his eyes, simply being. "So is that why I've been getting the special treatment?"

He laughed and opened his eyes again to look at you, "You noticed that too?"