Things Joe Says in His Sleep

Agent double oh seven's in there, plus a couple of bears, and a big, crazy lettuce.

M: aww look who is handsome! J: not as handsome as my six foot cock! M: pardon? Six foot cock? J: yeah because I found this bag of hello kitty miniatures. And they're all messed up. So I'm going to refurbish them and sell them for Christmas. If I can't sell them for Christmas I'm going to sell them for thanksgiving. M: sounds like a solid plan. J: yeah except they keep talking about my six foot cock! M: well maybe that'll make them a quick sell this thanksgiving. J: (laughs) maybe. hey did I say anything in my sleep? M: nope!

I don't think you should crack my back for a while. I don't want you to break it!

I had a dream I robbed a bank for you. I was one of those damn meddling kids!

J: Onions! [Uncontrollable laughter followed by snoring.]

This nation was built on the backs of perverts.

M: ...

J: UGANDA!

J: Momomomomomomomomomo.

J: I'd cut it off!

It's like we're trapped in this exponential grandma's house!

The dead ones can be used as fuel.

I'm so glad I'm home and not in an ambulance. A boo hoo wagon. A baby wanna ba ba mobile.

That's why there are so many poems. Because charcoal turns into diamonds and the diamonds turn into poems.

I had a dream about the cattle blaze. I could have fed a whole herd. It's a mutation that causes cows to grow vegetation right out of their skin. All kinds of vegetables. Some of them were turning into lions.

J: Awwww, you're my dove coat.

Yep, wearing boots and being a lesbian.