Going thru the last decade of tumble posts. I used to be so horny & gay. What happened???

I hung out with someone who means the world to me today but is still living the addict lifestyle. Every time I see him, I worry it will be the last. He’s doing better than I thought but hearing him talk about how badly he wants to die just kills me inside. I ended up sobbing the entire drive home. It hurts growing up with someone& having the same kind of struggles and you make it out and they don’t. People used to joke that we were soulmates & would some day end up married. I still hold onto that dream. I wish I could erase all the pain from our lives, all the wrong paths we went down.