Welcome to The Jasmine Dragon

The universe delivers you to me as an act of providence.

—

“The Painted Lady , she’s part of our town’s lore they say she’s a river spirit, who watches over our town in times of need”

I INTRODUCE TO YOU….

                                                                      Why do you ｅｘｐｅｃｔ happiness?

                                                                      We weren’t made to be “happy”.

               ᴡᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴜʀᴠɪᴠᴇ.

"Then you didn't love her the way I did!"

—

Inspired by this post, made by the fantastic ladybuhg.

"And here I thought erections lasting four hours or more were a myth."

"I’m telling you, honey and cinnamon cure everything."

"This is going to sting."

"Don’t swallow that.  It’s a suppository."

"At this point, how is your liver even still functioning?"

"I hope you’re not scared of needles."

"So, uh, does a vibrating dildo stuck in the ass warrant an emergency room visit?"

"You’re running a fever.  Get back in bed."

"Don’t tell me you’re afraid of doctors."

"No, urine does not help jellyfish stings and don’t you dare unzip your pants!"

"I hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson about inappropriate uses for vacuum hoses."

"Stop scratching or I’ll duct tape oven mitts to your hands."

"You won’t feel a thing."

"I made you chicken noodle soup."

"It’s just a finger prick - don’t be such a baby."

"The pregnancy test is positive."

"Have you tried drinking out of the wrong side of a glass?"

"Does that hurt?"