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in my head

when i was 11

i knew i'd be dead

by 16

i got caught

within the thought

by the women in the mirror

who said you've gotta fight

inside there is still a survivor

i know of your pain

im so damn use to always writing about my -sadness / or how my ex took everything i ever had , about all the dark places i've been to and feelings i went through ,

but

with you ....

how do i write about how your kiss brought me back ?

how you grounded me to where i feel myself again

i was a blank canvas but you have poured your colors into me , i am FLOWING ... no RADIATING, how you probably saved me ...

but i'll never tell you that ...

my breath ,

maybe if i am yo drink enough vodka i won't be able to taste your lips , you taught me .

when i wrote it's not the words , it's the fact it's about you ,

the abstract parts of the mind are clinging to different versions of myself , and i can't ..

crawl in my skin