the virginity thief.

self care is watching all three john mulaney specials because sometimes you really just need to laugh

The short involves Goofy doing domestic chores for his wife, which was an odd concept in the 1950′s. So based on the Milkman not knowing who he was kissing in this bit, it implies that Goofy’s wife was fucking the Milkman.

Power move

remember twilight and how edward and bella couldn’t do it bc edward was afraid he’d fuck her to death?

i remember bella willing to die for the dick

this is my favourite vine tbh

ME TOO

everyone who died at the battle of hogwarts missed All Star by Smash Mouth’s release two days later

me: *walks into Macdonald* hey can i get a fuckin uuhhhhhhhhh employee: I Know What You Want. me: Say It. Out Loud. employee: Borger