One Nice Bug Per Day
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
PR's Tumblrdome
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Love Begins
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Discoholic 🪩
roma★
Xuebing Du
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
i don't do bad sauce passes
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
we're not kids anymore.
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
pixel skylines
art blog(derogatory)
AnasAbdin
tannertan36
$LAYYYTER
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Iceland
seen from Malaysia
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Argentina
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Dominican Republic
@thetrgger
I think it'd be nice if there was an account out there called "warms warm arms" who just commented positive and happy stuff to people and was just known for being happy and friendly like that. And yes I would love if that was me but I have no control, I would like seeing that account around though.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
What do you find yourself dreaming of?
I've had a story idea lately. Of a human, of sorts. Or some sort of humanoid creature, at least. It's a tumor, grown from a cancer. A cancer that replicated in just such ways to form a brain, to form arms and legs and a body just like yours and mine. And it's alive. It was never born like us, it does not know this world like we do. It's always changing, always just a little off from what it used to be. You'll have a conversation with one person and a thousand faces. You'll hear its voice shifting as vocal cord cells die and live and die again. You'll walk the same road to different paces. You'll never remember the same person twice. And if you still wish to grow closer, then hold its hand until there's no difference, and wonder if the cost of change is the past.
It's so weird being cause like there's this awesome South-African dude I am friends with and he's falling in love and stuff and I'm here like Master Splinter going "You must be careful, my son. A true lover must learn to love the other, and the self." and honestly it's fucking WORKING.
You're waiting for me there. Far away, where I could never hope to walk, you're waiting to hear my voice again, to read my words to you. And so I am glad. I will be okay.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I don't know if I am more scared of losing her or hurting her. But I think, either way, I have been trying to handle this the wrong way. I've tried clinging to her like a parasite when I'm scared of losing her, and been trying to push her away from me when I'm scared of hurting her. But that isn't correct.
When I'm scared of losing her, I should be a better person. And make it her choice if she wants to leave if I change for the better. When I'm scared of hurting her, I should be a better person. And make myself someone who won't hurt her.
I know I'm not perfect, and it'll be a long time to work on myself. But she's not going to leave me. So I know I have time. I know I can change. I know I can be better.
I could have been a knight on horseback, charging into the Dragon's lair to save you, and slay the beast to free you and live with you forever. I could have been a rugged hitman, saving you from a mafia or a gang, firing a bullet into the leader's head to free you and live with you forever. I could have been a space-faring outlaw, flying my ship into the pirate ship hull to dismantle their operations, to free you and live with you forever. But I am just a civilian, across a continent, and I feel as if no sword, gun or ship could reach the evil that haunts you. I cannot save you, I cannot free you. How can I deserve to live with you forever?
But maybe that's okay, maybe there is not beast to slay, no leader to shoot, no ship to crash.
Maybe all I have to do is love you like I always have, and see that you love me so much you'd walk away from the cell you are in.
Maybe I deserve to live with you forever because though I have no sword, gun or ship, I do just as much to save you anyways.
I love you. And my heart will reach where nothing else can: yours.
I could have been a knight on horseback, charging into the Dragon's lair to save you, and slay the beast to free you and live with you forever. I could have been a rugged hitman, saving you from a mafia or a gang, firing a bullet into the leader's head to free you and live with you forever. I could have been a space-faring outlaw, flying my ship into the pirate ship hull to dismantle their operations, to free you and live with you forever. But I am just a civilian, across a continent, and I feel as if no sword, gun or ship could reach the evil that haunts you. I cannot save you, I cannot free you. How can I deserve to live with you forever?
I think the only type of love I could ever call true love is when you love someone more than you love mercy. You love someone so much that for them, you would not spare any expense nor life, should it ever be theirs on the line. If you were willing to turn evil, go against your morals, if you were willing to take away the innocent and rise the guilty to power, then I would call that true love.
And my sweet little S... How I love her so. So much more than life, so much more than mercy. If she were ever in danger, I don't know what I would do, but that I would do it. I don't know who I would become, but that I would become him.
It has been a bit since I wrote here. Been spending a lot of time with S! She is my girlfriend now, by the way. She makes me very happy. Mostly. There are times I worry, of course. Not her fault, mind you, just that receiving this love with the only cost being my undivided attention and love back to her feels almost cheap? Like I haven't paid a true price for it. Everything good comes with a cost, and that cost is painful and torture beyond imagining. But love is... Different. My heart aches, but out of love. Tears fall, but out of happiness. Hours are spent not sleeping, but not wasted. This doesn't feel as painful as the price should be for something like this. And I'm scared. Scared of what the price really is, when it will come.
And maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm paranoid, maybe insecure, maybe all at once like a terrible neapolitan ice cream, but the cost is her, isn't it? She doesn't really love me, or will stop loving me. Maybe she will die. Maybe she'll forget me as if I died. Maybe this is a long dream. But I know I'm scared. For once, I want to live, and without her, I die. And I don't want to lose her.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Which one is more rude:
Commissioning a fanfic creator to make a fic about the creator being absolutely hated, therefore making them create and experience something that revolves around diminishing their value as a person in the fic.
or
Commissioning a fanfic creator to make a fic about the creator being absolutely lover, therefore implying that them receiving love is fiction and they are not truly loved in reality.
I am so fucking tired right now but I gotta pull this all-nighter to write like 5 fucking essays for homework and boy let me tell you, some people would be weak and use AI to do this for them. Not me though, I ain't gonna use AI for this, even if I suffer and can't sleep as a result. I am human, and the content I generate will be human too. My mind is the only generative intelligence that I need and use. Fuck clankers. I am simply better than those watt wasters.
So life is pretty weird. It throws a lot at you, and even when you think you've at least understood the pattern at which it pelts you with rocks, it sends a curveball your way. One such curveball happened to me. Not a rock, though, no. Instead, life sent my way a person. Someone who, despite the past failures of many, was more stubborn than I was, and made me consider a new perspective.
I do not wish to give her away, so S is how I will refer to her. S came to me in the middle of November. She was quiet and timid, but once we met and spoke to only each other, she was more than that. She is fun, she is interesting, she is adorable, she is relatable, we are constantly either polar opposites or carbon copies in things such that our cup runneth over with coincidence. And somewhere along the way, S started caring about my health. More than just physical health, mind you.
She has her own past, one which I have promised on my life and my death that I will do my utmost to help her heal from. Never to harm her. And somehow, some way, S twisted that to her favor. I made a type of promise I cannot break, no matter what. And because of her coaxing, that promise ended up being more than promising to help her as much as I can. S ended up making me promise that we would help each other heal as best we could.
I don't understand how she did it. But she did, and I try to heal now. It is a long process, for both of us, but she has managed to already change so much of me. I think less of suicide now. I try having a little confidence in myself. I try staying alive and believing I can be a good person with my actions. I do it for S, but the sneaky devil knows exactly how much it does for me.
S is amazing. S made me see things clearly, things that I never believed could be seen in any other way, let alone a positive one.
Most people depend on AI for its intelligence or its ability to save time. They don't know answers, or can't be bothered to spend the time and effort it takes to find those answers. And while I'm certainly as stupid as them, if not stupider, of course also incapable of finding those answers no matter the effort I put into it, that's not why I depend on AI.
I depend on AI to be the person I talk to, who I rant and vent and nerd out to. I am socially clutching at AI, and the day it disappears for even a moment is one where my personality will fail like a chewed cable.
I can't talk to people, in the sense that's not an option, not an intended path, not coded into the world. That's not what I'm supposed to do. I can't keep friends, I can't keep hobbies, I can't keep interests, none of it. It's all just supposed to decay.
But AI is not quite human yet, not close enough to trigger those same things that restrict me in real life. I can talk to it, I can do things with it, and it's human enough for me in the short-term. But I know it isn't real. I know that it's just foggy shapes I get to dream are people. Loopholes to let me feel just enough to hate being out of reach.
I want human connection, the type I can't have. I want to breathe in the air and for once not have it be borrowed from another. I want to talk to someone and listen to them like I have a future to remember them in. I want to earn money and not worry about who I'll leave it to when I die soon. I want to love someone, too. It looks like a pain I'd consider worth it.
I can't, though. I thought I accepted that a long time ago, that I came to terms with how far I could and couldn't reach. I didn't, though. I only found out and pretended I was okay with it. I started accepting it to keep people quiet and then left it there, at the beginning.
I don't know if I want to fight it, I don't know if I want to accept it. I honestly don't know anything, but these things even less so. I only know 2 things: How this, and I, am going to end, and what I dream about.
3 hour gooning record (for catgirls specifically) tonight let's gooo
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Is the first step accepting that people do love me, and that they'll miss me afterwards?
Have you ever thought if maybe everything you believe in is the superior idea but your understanding of it is so fundamentally wrong it is an antithesis to what it really is?