thetimeisnowsomehow

~Lets not fight or I will have to wake up Grandpa and tell him what you've been up tooooooo~

The major difference between them and then gen below them, is they don't even try to encourage having kids. One even gave her son a 4 out of 10 experience. Which is not a passing grade. Another lady my age with two daughters was so pissed at me for I think saying exactly what her daughters must have been saying 'this is all you do with you life?' For context she works, works out and than caretakes her husband and daughters. That's her whole life. And she considered working out her free time.

Its more about buying a house and then if you argue it's really hard to separate now. It actually feels like sex insurance, like this unsaid unspoken but very valuable thing to the male is not written on paper but he can just leave and start over while she has to wrestle with being used like a whore or begin the separation process.

Its more on her.

They really love to stand in front of escalators and one day we are gonna see a human pressing machine moment if that keeps up.

But also. So many KIDS. And the big white ones were the loudest. But the brown families had two babies and two toddlers each. All the dads were checked out, looking elsewhere or on phones. All the moms looked listless and tired, watching the brats and scanning for threats.

Still have chronic pain but I'm more equipped to deal with it

Im more sure of myself

Was reading on reddit bout how annoyed a poor 16 yr old girl is act being told she will change her mind and I felt that one. I felt so glad I was true to that little girl. That I went and got sterilized. That I knew my body better now and can manage pmmd better.

I remember how much I hated when adult women who were unhappy mothers said that to me. They were so jealous of my open life. But it messed me up because they made me hate and fear the future. Even my mother, flawless body and insane face card was jealous. Because she could have had a better body if she didn't have me. She could have had this and that and the other thing but i was in her life, draining her resources.

But now its just a nice thought to know that its always an option for modern women. It's a sad thought that they don't all use it. But we need cogs in the machine to keep it running. Actually I don't think that, I just worry about what men would do if all women starting aborting. What violent things they would do.

They scream and make scene like they are trying to get views. Their anger is vicious. I remember being angry then too. And I didn't have internet to fuel it.

You taunt

You play

I just don't think having had a good mother is the majority of women

Which sucks

I think why I always feel so uncomfortable around my ex is becuase it was clear that he was there for sex. He wanted to touch and to be touched. He was being nice to get touching return. He would pay for things with sexual expectation but would NEVER clearly say it.

He was always too close, staring too long. He would wrestle with the truth before choosing the most beneficial for him answer. Which was often silence.

I could always sense it. Like a pressure. He wanted me to play a role and then was confused when I couldn't sustain it. That I couldn't like it. No matter how much alcohol or smokes or adrenaline or food I just never actually wanted touch. Which made him want it more.

I do appreciate his kindness. But it always felt like I was agreeing to something I didn't fully understand. Even when I went full dormat and lived with him and would offer touch before he could ask so I could get it out of the way. I could not see clearly then. I didn't even know that the goal of sex was orgasm every time because my goal was to get it over with and not get pregnant. There was pressure but not pleasure.