Thalia Clark

that was a little hard now with one of his said ex-wives seated right next to him. his occasional excursions to denver were meant to be a relief from life in providence peak. though, by all accounts, his life was pretty sweet, there were still times that saul felt a bit suffocated by it all. being mr. providence peak had its pitfalls, and in denver, he had more freedom to be a bit more ostentatious, a little more wild, without worrying that it would somehow tarnish his reputation in town. “goodness, thalia, world domination doesn’t happen in a day. i’m playing the long con.” it was a bit of progress from her frosty greeting, so saul took it as a win. his mouth twitched to one side when she mentioned the gala’s menu. “where does one purchase fresh lobster in denver, anyway? they offer a lovely vegan option of salad, though.” talk about nostalgia… their first meeting went a lot like this, menu and all, though he doubted they were going to sneak away to a deli like they had before. his gaze traveled away from her face to the plate in front of her where he noticed the little placard that designated her seat.

mrs. thalia clark-weissberg.

fucking nostalgia, alright. he jutted his chin towards the offending paper. “have you not updated your contact information in the charity’s registry?” saul asked, mainly curious about the outdated name. it had briefly been a problem when they first married, as his two previous wives took his last name fully upon their nuptials, but they had quickly moved past it. at that point in time, any fight they had was easily fixed and smoothed over with sex and an i love you. didn’t work so well towards the end, though.

While Kathleen surely didn't intend for her to be spending more time with Saul of all people, he was the best person for her to practice on. There were a handful of people Thalia became comfortable with other the years. The most notable were all now living in Providence Peak like it was a sitcom: Kathleen, Leon, and Saul. If there was anyone who could teach her to fully live again, it was the man sitting next to her. She could make an effort that night to just talk to Saul, maybe meet the other donors in attendance. "You have always been appropriately pragmatic." Thalia remarked. Out of everyone, a random bid for world domination from him would not be entirely unsurprising.

"I believe they consider flash frozen to be fresh. How a bottom-feeder could ever be considered fresh is beyond me." It felt like she was talking more than she had in months, since their meeting at the baseball game. It made her feel flustered. Thalia took a sip of water as a reprieve. Saul was still home base in her heart. He knew so well at one point. Her gaze moved to the name-card as well. It was unpleasant to look at that elegant script and remember what they once were. Things were really nice for a while. Really damn nice.

"I agreed to attend on a whim. It did not cross my mind to check." She liked having his last name. Not enough to be fully rid of the name of the family that adopted her and gave her a new life, but it felt like it fit. Until people started only referring to her as a Mrs. "I suppose I should review my information next time." She also didn't anticipate he was also be in attendance. "This is my first non-work event in quite a while. I may have forgotten the ritual." It was an honest confession, as much of a bid for help as she was capable of issuing.

"fuck, wasn't it like... our names?" probably their names in a flaming heart with a sword, something utterly tacky. "or maybe some profound nirvana quote." leon's gaze softened at the memory. they'd been so intertwined at that time, so sure of who they were to each other, of the emotions that bound them, both trying to escape the orwellian surveillance established by the intimidating older sisterr.

it had all started with leon trying to make the goth girl smile, until he'd been able to see it and stayed for her. there was something soft and significant, in the way thalia used to smile, once you got past her walls, down to her soft, simple core. "that kathleen intervention wasn't all that bad in the end," not that having thalia's name tattooed on his bicep would have been a mistake, but they weren't even adults then. she had been right to prevent them from making such a foolish mistake.

and now, she was still meddling. leon didn't think it was for the same reasons, though. he wondered how much the sister knew about what had transpired in new york. while most of his memories with thalia were positive, he couldn't forget the bitterness of their last moments. they hadn't been much more than an anchor for each other in the big city; a familiar point, a vague reminder of providence peak. it had been comforting, comfortable. but looking at thalia now… the end seemed distant. insignificant. theirs had been, after all, a relationship built on friendship, and leon found himself surprisingly hoping it could happen again.

so perhaps this kathleen intervention was a feeble attempt to give them both, notorious loners and introverts, a chance to reconnect. to escape their own minds.

"There was a barbed wire heart proposed if memory serves correctly." As soon as Leon relaxed, Thalia relaxed. Internally, at least. She didn't mind when most people were either upset or anxious around her. It was just a factor of life. Leon was different. At one point, she even considered marrying him. If he didn't want to spend any time with her, maybe she really deserved to be alone. She would be the monster that everyone seemed to picture her as. At least that was how she felt.

"I was livid at her." Thalia almost smiled at the memory. It was yet another instance of Kathleen proving she was correct and knew best for her little sister. There was a reason why Thalia almost never went against Kathleen's advice. The few times she did, even as an adult, it didn't end well. Her divorce was evidence of that. Best not to even think about that on this date though. She raised her glass and echoed his sentiment. "To Kathleen."

She took a sip for just a second longer than was classically appropriate. It was Leon. She'd cried in his lap one time they got drunk and her grunge makeup ran down her cheeks. They drove nearly 24 hours straight to catch their favorite band in Seattle then just slept in the car to avoid paying for a hotel room. There were countless examples of her being a mess around him. She didn't think there was anyone else she'd push herself to loosen up around.

"I must ask about the bagel shop, Leon." She regarded him with her regular neutral expression but she was excited to hear his response. She used to love how he would be enthusiastic about the things he cared about. He had such passion. Thalia was curious about how he ended up back in Providence Peak too but it truly didn't seem like the time. "Why serve coffee at all?" There were too many people who complained about the bagel shop coffee for Thalia to not be aware of it.

“hm, well, i didn’t think you’d be here.” and if he had, he doubted she would’ve wanted to be trapped in a car with him for the entire ride up to denver. or, rather, he didn’t want to be trapped with her. not out of anger or resentment, but fear that it would be awkward. again, their previous conversation at the baseball game had eased some of the tension between them, but it was never easy to be around someone that reminded him of his own failures for long periods of time. (it was the entire reason, after all, he had such a strained adult relationship with micah.) “hippie.” saul tested her with another tease, smirking slightly as he picked up the water glass placed on the table before them. “i have plans to be mr. denver as well, actually.” it was undeniable that saul liked to be liked. “as i recall, you’re the one who just tolerates these things.”

As much as she felt like they were about to begin a new chapter in their relationship, there was still an automatic inclination to avoid solo time with him. What if they slipped into an accidental discussion of each other's flaws? "Mr. Denver?" She repeated. "I must say that sounds like you are aiming low. I expect to see a Mr. America contest proposal published by the end of next year." Why did she decide to attend? Kathleen of course. Her sister wore her down, constantly pushing the message that getting out of Providence Peak would be refreshing and this would be a great way to meet people. Better to table her sister as well, to put the invisible negative force into the corner with all the other topics she didn't want to talk about. "Yes, they are rather tedious." Thalia inclined her head slightly. "However I would be remiss to ignore an invitation that boasted a shellfish buffet." Just like the social event where they met, the food was remarkably noninclusive. At least she wasn't alone in it. While everyone else would be chowing down on crab and slurping oysters, she wouldn't be the only one with an empty plate.

(she had been a few years younger, which did not give him the best press, especially with her sister kathleen. but leon had always been the most gentlemanly with thalia!)

and finding each other back in new york, years after. it had been convenient then, to rekindle.

now... now. they were both back in providence peak, and if he read thalia's face as well as he did years before, she was noticeably unhappy to share the same air as him. that would make for an interesting evening, for sure. leon did hope his own expression wasn't as grieving. after all, his night could have been way more productive: flat out drunk in his own bed, absolutely alone. the best a man could wish for. "please, yes." leon agreed nonchalantly, offered her the wine list so she could choose to her liking. his eyes lingered on her left hand; weirdly glad to find it ring-free.

weariness seemed to seep in his bones already; exhausted for the conversation that was to come. leon didn't deal really well with awkward situations, especially when he knew pertinently he wasn't welcome. "you think that's her definition of helping, or a prank?" he mused aloud, while the server left their table with their wine order. "... she always did have the strangest fucking sense of humour, no?"

Thalia looked at him for a few moments while she considered her response. "Helping, I believe." She answered. Her answer to her sister was that Leon would be what she needed when she needed him. In high school, they were Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, the prom King and Queen should there have been a goth category. He was a lifeline in New York, not just because being around him reminded her to eat but because she found her feet. She learned how to live in New York and be a socialite and then she met Saul. Things with Leon ended cordially, or maybe just as cordial as it could be considering she didn't ever want to have a conversation about her feelings. Maybe Kathleen put the two of them together because Leon had saved her twice before and the odds were good for it happening a third time.

Her main worry was this it would be a purely antagonistic evening. Thalia wanted an evening in public where she didn't feel like someone was angry with her. Her gaze didn't leave his face although she was noting the changes in the past few years. They hadn't been in such close proximity in ages. She liked the differences. "Do you recall what we were going to tattoo on each other? Before Kath caught us?" The question probably came out of left field for him but she felt like it was necessary. Her sister undoubtedly had reasons for this reunion and she ought to play along. Since he didn't leave as soon as she walked in, Thalia assumed they could at least catch up.

Walking around the aisles of the flower shop, Yas was trying to find something cute to put up in her house to brighten the mood. She wasn't sure what she wanted, browsing more for the sake of something to do than any real desire to be there. Her fingers drifted over the price tag of one of the displays for a moment, attention caught up reading the numbers before another figure stepped into her line of sight. Yas wasn't the type of person to actively dislike anyone and, really, she had nothing against Thalia. She was, however, the type of person to stick up for the people she cared about in any scenario. In this case, it was a distinct loyalty to Saul that had a frown creasing her brows. "Thalia," she said simply as a greeting, her voice barely disguising the touch of distaste that accompanied her words.

so, he was going stag to the gala tonight. just because he was going alone, however, didn’t mean he was going to leave the gala all by himself. his brief affair with sara had come to an end earlier that week, so there would be no guilt within him if he ended up taking someone back to his hotel room. why not enjoy himself? denver wasn’t providence peak, and he had no real ties to anyone attending the gala as well. there was a lesser chance that he would accidentally hit on some other long-lost aksoy sister or someone’s estranged wife like back home.

Immediately any good will she was harboring towards him disappeared. Her only reaction was a slight tightening of her jaw. It was a skill she developed early on when people would try to get a reaction out of her. It was a coping mechanism she became too deeply buried in that there was no way to revert to the bubbly and silly girl she was when her parents were still alive. Therapists asserted that it would pass but it just became who she was. "Hello, Saul." She forgot how in his element he could be. He was thrown off his rhythm at the baseball game but this was the same man she met all those years ago.

after the spring extravaganza, leon felt so weary that he had to close shop for a day or two. it wouldn't hurt the business, but he needed to ensure his head was back in the game before facing the world again. between the incident with saul and the unsettling radio silence from eli, things had grown uncomfortably lonely. it left him feeling off-balance, yearning for the bustling streets of New York to drown out the noise within his own mind.

a distraction was exactly what he needed, and one was on the horizon.

if drowning his sorrows in a bottle hadn't provided solace recently, then he'd have to change tactics. that was the only reason he agreed to kathleen's suggestion. it had been ages since he'd seen her; they had reconnected during the extravaganza, and she had visited his shop a few times since its reopening. kathleen had always been a force of nature. so different than her sister, whom leon carefully avoided mentioning at all times. their ...thing had ended, and they hadn't spoken much since.

so when kathleen gently nudged him to meet one of her "friends" who was newly "single" and assured they would hit it off, leon didn't think much of it. but now, as thalia stood before him for this ridiculous blind date, he should have known better. "i'm going to murder your sister," he muttered under his breath, though he rose to his feet to greet the woman properly with a half-hearted hug and a kiss on the cheek. last he knew, thalia was married. If this was some sick joke...

"it's been awhile," he said, his tone cautious as he studied her, unsure of what to make of the unexpected reunion. "you look good, thalia."

Trying to resist her hermit tendencies after the divorce was difficult. Despite being back in Colorado with her sister a phone call away, Thalia felt listless. Her complete lack of energy translated to the inability to resist Kathleen's wishes. A blind date? She truly couldn't think of anything worse. It was only out of her love for Kathleen that she even considered it. And no one else could be quite so devious as to set up high school exes. Especially when she knew that Thalia studiously avoided Leon's store for more reasons than just not being a food fanatic.

"You as well, Leon." Thalia sighed as she approached. This was meddling at its finest and was already feeling drained by what would undoubtedly be an unpleasant dinner. "Kathleen will be receiving a very strongly worded text, please be assured." At least Leon was one of the few she didn't feel the need to put a different persona on for. This could simply be a reason for her to not stay in her apartment with a 7 PM bed time. She gestured for him to sit after returning the gesture in the least uncomfortable way possible. "This is quite the unexpected reunion. Would I be wrong in requesting we order a bottle of wine before discussing anything?"

For the first noticeable time before the divorce, Thalia felt hopeful. Her feelings for Saul were still too tangled to fully understand but she knew she didn't want to lose him. Perhaps they could just be friends. There would be a period of adjustment but she felt like she wasn't going to run away next time she saw him. There really weren't many other people whose company she genuinely enjoyed and he was still second on that list. Even after everything. "I worry that you are exceedingly quick to think ill of yourself." Thalia said after a moment of contemplation. If they were to be friends then she would be honest with him. There were new faint lines on his face, slightly more grey in his hair. Had they been this close since the divorce? Hell, even since before the divorce during those periods of coldness? Those dormant butterflies in her gut could still wake up then. She just wished it wasn't for her handsome ex-husband.

"You were a good husband, Saul. We were simply not meant to be." She smiled, or as close to a smile as was usual for her. "I will do my best to find happiness. I truly–" Her train of thought was interrupted by a cheer from the baseball game. For a while there, she forgot about the reason why the two of them were even there. "Well I would hate for you to miss seeing your team lose. Thank you for the water." Thalia did feel lighter. Not just from her dizziness fading into background noise but the conversation which addressed multiple questions from their turbulent relationship. "I will see you around." She resisted touching his arm again. Maybe without the easy access to physical contact, they could actually learn to communicate.

“thank you, birdie.” at least, by her account, he hadn’t completely failed her. she was right, they weren’t meant to be. not when they couldn’t communicate like they had needed to. in fact, he was sure this was the most honest conversation he had with thalia in years now. all he wanted was her for to find happiness, and though he hated that it couldn’t have been with him, he didn’t want her to be wounded forever. eventually, they would find the perfect place in each other’s lives, and while he couldn’t be the husband that she needed, he could try to be the friend she did. he wouldn’t fail her this time. the cheering behind them distracted her and saul flinched at the sudden cacophony. he should probably get back to rachel before she thought he had been murdered or something, anyway. “oh, ha-ha. we’ll see, maybe they’ll turn it around. score a touchdown, whatever it is.” he was just kidding about the touchdown part, though it wasn’t too far off from the truth that saul didn’t know shit about any sport. “you’re welcome.” saul jutted his chin towards the water bottle he gave her, then walked around thalia. “i’ll see you around, alright? we’ll talk soon.” saul continued on his walk to the stands, hands full of snacks and drinks for him and rachel, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

though there had never been an instance of violence between either of them, he flinched involuntarily as thalia reached out a hand. the weight of it on his arm felt comforting, yet slightly odd. like it was forbidden for them to touch anymore, which in itself, felt odd. when they were married, at least for the first few years, they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. when words failed them, all he had to do was put his own hand on her collarbone and it was like any tension in them both evaporated. he missed that. he missed when their marriage could be fixed with a kiss. a tenderness flashed in his eyes, and for a moment, he could’ve believed they were six years in the past again. back when he hadn’t disappointed her with his distance and they thrived off of the excitement of a new relationship. with every relationship, not just his previous marriages, it was easier at the start. eventually, though, saul would hurt them in some way. he always did. 

there was a slow rumble of a laugh deep in his chest. she could always make him laugh. “i won’t lie, i have been able to find some humor in the situation.” all things considered, her sister’s vocal hatred of him didn’t disrupt his life too much. not anymore, at least. it had been different fresh after the divorce, but things had settled. saul was busier than ever these days, he had a stable client base and made many positive connections throughout providence peak. the longer he spent out of his cold, lonely home, the better. he had never been able to sit still for long, always needing some sort of stimulation in order to get through the day, and he had spent many nights lately falling asleep at the office before waking up in the dark. if he waited until the last possible minute to go home, then it wouldn’t bother him as much to return to an empty house. less time to think about how he missed having someone around. kate finding a place of her own to stay made it all the more obvious that he was lonely.

as soon as she placed her hand on his arm, she took it away. saul mourned the loss, but it was probably for the best. the conversation was already emotionally charged, he could imagine adding physicality to it would only make things harder. “you don’t have to know. just do whatever feels right.” saul advised softly, fixing an encouraging smile on his face. “i don’t know about happy, but i'm getting by. i’m trying to make the best out of my time here.” the plan had been to retire in providence peak in fifteen years when they had first moved out, but after the divorce, the future was still up in the air. his office lease and his mortgage kept him in providence peak, and he loved the friendships he had formed within the last three years, but he would always consider the east coast to be his true home. “you’ve got a bright future ahead of you, thalia. i know you’re going to be better off without me, and you’ll end up happy with the life you’ve lived. it’ll just take some time, that’s all, but it will happen for you.”

For the first noticeable time before the divorce, Thalia felt hopeful. Her feelings for Saul were still too tangled to fully understand but she knew she didn't want to lose him. Perhaps they could just be friends. There would be a period of adjustment but she felt like she wasn't going to run away next time she saw him. There really weren't many other people whose company she genuinely enjoyed and he was still second on that list. Even after everything. "I worry that you are exceedingly quick to think ill of yourself." Thalia said after a moment of contemplation. If they were to be friends then she would be honest with him. There were new faint lines on his face, slightly more grey in his hair. Had they been this close since the divorce? Hell, even since before the divorce during those periods of coldness? Those dormant butterflies in her gut could still wake up then. She just wished it wasn't for her handsome ex-husband.

"You were a good husband, Saul. We were simply not meant to be." She smiled, or as close to a smile as was usual for her. "I will do my best to find happiness. I truly–" Her train of thought was interrupted by a cheer from the baseball game. For a while there, she forgot about the reason why the two of them were even there. "Well I would hate for you to miss seeing your team lose. Thank you for the water." Thalia did feel lighter. Not just from her dizziness fading into background noise but the conversation which addressed multiple questions from their turbulent relationship. "I will see you around." She resisted touching his arm again. Maybe without the easy access to physical contact, they could actually learn to communicate.