too sassy for you

This conversation is a lot deeper than I originally anticipated. That’s true though. I’ve come to know plenty of people who don’t show the real them. 

What can I say? I’m like a philosopher when I get a few drinks in me. Everyone’s got the shit they keep locked up. 

Yeah I couldn’t really sleep much last night so I just gave up doing it, probably cause I didn’t watch anything to drowse me to sleep but morning’s kinda pretty if you look past how tired you are. Okay so not Mimosa’s…what did you take too much then? Do tell me if I should be curious or deeply concerned or both first though. 

Ah, you’re one of those that has to watch something in order to properly drift off? The morning is definitely beautiful. -Especially around here. Neither, I don’t think. It was mostly beers and a few shots.

This sounds like the most millennial bullshit ever, but I’m really trying to figure myself and my life out a bit, and this seems like the most distracting, publicly viewed, and appropriate place to do it. Although, the perks aren’t bad either…

That’s not millennial bullshit; mot in my eyes, anyway. -And at least you seem to understand pretty well what it is that you’re getting into. And which perks might those be, might I ask?

How do you not remember? You travelled to these places.

You don’t pay attention to the details when you’re having fun.

Then what’s stopping us, Tess? You can choose the movie.

Spy. No question. Jason Statham’s character in that movie is the only thing I’ll ever need in my life.

Don’t be silly, I don’t leave for a couple days and I’d love to spend some of those hours with you if I’d be allowed? How about we head towards a living room and pass out to the sounds of some hilarious movie?

Well, you know I can’t quite say no to a request like that.

Figuratively speaking, dearest. Though I think we ought to get you to bed. You have this look in your eyes that makes me worry for your sanity. 

I’m fine. -Gonna go grab a snack and a water so I don’t feel completely awful in the morning. I’ll see you soon, I guess?

Just a break, Tess. Just a break. Unfortunately for the wider public, I’ll be back after taking a breather off in an elysian field of sorts. 

Elysian Fields? What do you mean by that?

The situations are vastly different considering that you at least get a good bye. I’d bring you something back from where ‘m headed though I hardly think there will be much to bring back apart from the sunshine. Though Hawaii has more than enough as it is. 

That’s because I never properly left. -Didn’t intend to either I just-...went out and stayed out. -And I never had my phone off me so y’all were able to contact me at any time. I don’t need any gifts, Ayd. Just-...focus on you and figure out whatever it is that you need to figure out. 

You as well, Tessa Richards. I’m Hannah Langsley.

What brings you to our humble abode, Hannah?

Though that is incredibly deep and sound advice, it’s temporary. Just a couple weeks getaway, I’ve got everything planned and paid for so there’s no turning back now. I just need a break, Tess. Bit of a disappearing act where I leave my laptop and phone turned off for a couple weeks. Hey presto. 

Yes, well, we all need to try and disappear every now and again, don’t we? -Though, next time you’re not allowed to remark on me doing it seeing as you just judged me for leaving the house only to turn around and tell me that you’re disappearing without a way to reach you. 

–.. ‘m going away for awhile.

— It’s not going to fix anything, Ayd. You know that as well as I do. -You can run from em’, you can drown em’ with alcohol or cover them with drugs, you can distract yourself with anything else but-...when you wake up in the morning, problems are still there. Just the same as how you left em’. 

And her heart was the best part, it would always calm the storm for those who were afraid of a little rain.

We ought to create a sad saga concerning the sad love lives of Ayden Summers and Tessa Richard’s unfortunate love lives. If you ever feel saddened about the quality of yours, do just consider mine. That should perk you right back up. I hardly think that you are a plain Jane. You’re an extremely beautiful woman, Tess. I’ll spend time telling you so if that’s what it takes for you to believe it. I think it’s more an Ayden Summers sort of thing. Even prior to my time on the show–.. It’s not so much the whole camera issue or the horrible word people like to slap on me famous. It’s the normality that I fear I’ll never be able to have due to my position. Which is where I begin to come across as somewhat spoilt, so please spare your judgement. I understand I have been blessed with all these opportunities. Whether it comes to wealth or being given a platform to make a real change, which I am so fortunate for, I find myself craving basic things. Such as blending into a crowd. Having a high school life, a university life, where you could make mistakes. A life where you can make mistakes. I crave the thought of one day being able to settle down with children and a husband. I s’pose after however many years, I’m craving the quiet. Ah, it’s all incredibly whiney and feels somewhat off for me to be behaving in such a way. Apologies, you seem to be my outlet.

The tragedy of love. -It’s always an adventure best avoided unless you are or you are feeling particularly sadistic or masc-maso-...masco-fuck. -You know what word I’m getting at here, right? No, no; I don’t need to nor do I desire to hear anything about the way I look. If it’s an ego boost I am concerned with or in need of, I’d just put on my skimpiest clothing and stroll into the nearest place full of drunk tourists. If you’re really worried about me judging you, I’m going to have to question how well you really know me. Everyone has their shit, just because you did or didn’t live a more privileged life does not make it any less relevant or any less shitty. Don’t let anyone or anything let you think that you can’t have exactly what you want. Yeah, it’s hard, I’m sure but there are places you can go. Don’t you remember your trip to Texas? In Bowie we’re so out of the loop that half the people that know me don’t even know I’m on a show now or that I’m meeting these fabulous celebrities at charity events; let alone knowing who any of you are. I’m not saying it’s easy because I can only imagine it won’t be...-but it can be done. Especially if it’s what you want. Eh, don’t apologize; I’ve always been good at that.