kam:

In regards to Hoseok, from a thoughtful question I was recently asked:

Sunshine. Hope. Angel. These words are all synonymous with Hoseok and rightly so, but

They do not define him. They are not exhaustive. Though they are a list of adjectives that absolutely do describe his soul and the message he conveys through his music as an artist, he is not limited to a one-dimensional image.

As fans we need to recognise that we really know nothing. There are members like Namjoon and Yoongi who wear their heart on their sleeve in their lyrics and don’t keep their struggles from us. That is fine.

If we think about it, we really don’t know much about members like Seokjin or Hoseok, such as about their experiences predebut. They choose not to share their stories, and most likely we will never know. That is also fine.

There are a few things they have chosen to show us.

We only just found out through Burn The Stage how bad things were at one point with Hoseok actually leaving the group. He came back, because of his members.

In the one and half years of the rappers were stuck together training alone, Yoongi revealed this:

He even said Hoseok should have been called “J-Sad”. Their early days were heartbreakingly difficult.

I have seen people call his on-camera persona “fake” or “loud” or “annoying”. Whilst it is true that we simply will never see all the worst parts of their lives, they have already shown us so much. Such claims come from people who can’t be bothered to learn about him as a whole person.

Hoseok is not just an outgoing, funny mood maker. He is a huge comfort to his members. He plays a huge role as a “second leader”. He takes his title as the Dance Leader incredibly seriously. 

Whether or not Hoseok had to change himself to adapt to his on-camera/stage persona (it’s very common for new idol members to be assigned personality “roles” within their group) or he naturally rose to it and became more and more true to himself, that doesn’t make his care and affection any less genuine. 

Taking such a position is infinitely selfless. Constantly putting other’s worries and emotions before yourself is a huge sacrifice and can take its toll on anyone. 

As Jimin said, he is “a hyung that’s brighter than anyone but also a hyung that gets tired faster than anyone”.

Hobi took on this role as a “hopeful existence” for his members. For when they are nervous backstage, need to break the ice during overseas interviews, or are struggling with their performance. 

When he is needed he is there.

But let’s not forget that when he needs them, 

they are there for him too.

Hoseok is a multi-faceted, gorgeous-hearted, kind, golden human. 

A blessing to this world and to our lives. 

結 F Version Icons

there are so many important messages that suga is trying to convey to his listeners through his mixtape and im sure that if you’ve read the lyric translations, you definitely know what i mean. i am seriously blown away that we’ve been fans of bts for what, 3 years now? for 3 years, ARMYs have easily labelled yoongi as ‘lazy’, given him that ‘idagf’ image, and yet, we were oblivious to so many of his hardships. we’ve always known that he’s hardworking, more quiet than the other members, and more reflective, but this mixtape honestly blew me away because yoongi’s gone through so much in his idol career and we had no idea. 

first off, he touches on a sensitive topic that idols don’t speak openly about: mental health. he raps about seeing a psychiatrist, battling with depression, self-hate, experiencing social phobia since age 18, putting on a front, and loneliness. His entire song “The Last” really touches on this:

a word said like habit, oh, I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck those words are all words I use to hide my weak self that time I want to erase, that’s right, the memories I want to erase of that day I had that concert I was afraid of people, so I hid in the bathroom and stared at myself

and in “So Far Away”:

I’m in so much pain and lonliness but people around me keeping telling me to regain my consciousness I try to vent my anger but I only got myself so what’s the point of venting my anger I’m scared to open my eyes everyday and start breathing

these lyrics from ‘At Dawn’ also illustrate this:

I pretend I’m not lonely, I pretend I’m not suffering I pretend I’m okay for no reason, meaninglessly I pretend to be strong don’t come over the wall I’ve put up in front of myself don’t throw me off this island in this wide sea 

he also talks about his struggles during his trainee days and i dont think he’s ever talked in depth about this period of his life. this mixtape gives us some insight about him moving to seoul, getting a part time job to afford the cost of living in the city, going to school dead tired after work, and still training with big hit to live out his dreams

was I needy for success? No just needy for money it’d been a long time since I forgot the words ‘in style’ I practiced at night and went to my part time job at dawn then even if I dragged that tired body to school I just slept I became 20 that way, the sight of the graduation room was suspicious

and the fact that he admits he puts up a front:

I hide the self that’s behind my defensive posture I hide myself completely like I’ve become a criminal, always I can’t even take one step outside the dorm that’s like a prison 

all of these are reasons im so moved. because it really highlights how idols only show one side of themselves to the camera, and fans can never really know them fully. we only know the version of bts’ min yoongi that he wants to show us through shows and broadcasts. 

behind every idol rapper who succeeds there’s a weak self standing, it’s a little dangerous I fall sometimes again into depression and compulsion hell no, anyway I don’t even know if that’s the real me