The Televisionaries

Selfie is a show that shouldn’t work. The premise is regressive and anti-tech, the idea that Eliza’s only hope of becoming a better person is the mentorship of a male co-worker is more than a little gross and the will they/won’t they, opposites-attract romance is as tired as it is boring. On the surface, nothing about Selfie stands out as unique or interesting.

So when the show debuted with a stunningly bad pilot (although, admittedly, many of the things that seemed so wrong in that first episode make a little more sense now), it wasn’t must of a surprise. No one was really expecting anything more—I certainly wasn’t. What was surprising, though, was that the problems weren’t insurmountable. The pilot was obnoxious and offensive, but John Cho and Karen Gillan had such great chemistry and it was almost enough to make you forget how angry you were about what you were watching.

Even more surprising, the show got better—fast. Eliza’s social media obsession was reduced to an afterthought, a symptom of her greater narcissism issues; Henry was revealed to be laughably unqualified to mentor anyone about their personal lives and the show rightly treated him as such; and their chemistry proved to be so palpably sexual that it elevated what would’ve been a hokey romantic storyline on a lesser show. All the things that seemed like weakness at the outset were narrative clichés set up for the show to subvert further down the line.

This week’s episode, “Landline,” could have turned out one of two ways. The first we’ve seen thousands of times before. Henry and Eliza are close friends, but they’re torn apart because he’s in a new relationship. He pushes her away because his girlfriend gets jealous and she acts irrationally because she can’t handle being ignored.

In the second, Henry only pushes Eliza away because he expects his new girlfriend to get jealous. He expects certain behaviors because that’s how society (and Larry) have taught him to expect women to behave. In reality, she’s perfectly fine that he’s friends with Eliza. And why wouldn’t she be? She’s a self-assured woman with her own “throngs of male cohorts”—she’s Phylicia Rashad.

And Eliza doesn’t act irrationally because she needs a man to make into a better person. She acts irrationally because he’s actually her only friend. She goes crazy because the fear of being completely alone is enough to make anyone crazy.

That first version of “Landline” could easily have been an episode of the recently departed Manhattan Love Story, a show that clung so desperately to reductive stereotypes and lazy conventions that the show floated off into space tied to a balloon of its own rom-com adorableness. Its characters were paper-thin, existing just enough to fill the space between plot points.

Selfie isn’t interested in being the show we’ve seen thousands of times before. It wants to make that show better. Its characters are realistic and grounded. They keep the show tied to a world we recognize and never let the narrative take over. Even when the show is telling the most outlandish stories it’s driven by real, established character motivations.

That’s what really makes Selfie great. Its feet are firmly planted on earth, but its head is in a whole different universe. Every week, the show gleefully revels in the surreal—Eliza fell into a goddamn manhole at one point—and every week it pulls it off because it never lets itself get carried away.

Selfie is canceled, so who knows if/when it airs.

-Reid

Selfie has been working its way toward a big romantic climax for a while now. From the moment Eliza showed up outside of Henry’s house at the end of the pilot, it was easy to envision the moment they finally got together. Even though they’re total opposites and can’t stop bickering, they eventually realize they actually like each other’s flaws and that they’ve fallen head over heels in loooove. Four O’s. So at some point down the line, possibly after a few inconvenient obstacles to stretch the story out as long as possible, one of them finally confesses their love for the other—standing in the rain to mirror the start of their relationship, of course—and they have a magical kiss while some triumphant indie-pop song plays in the background.

It’s all stuff we’ve seen thousands of times before and Selfie hasn’t made much of an effort to deviate from it yet. In the show’s first few episodes we’ve watched Henry and Eliza grow closer together, share intimate moments, exchange lingering glances, etc. All the things we’ve come to expect from a traditional will they/won’t they relationship. For a show so unique in so many ways, the romantic elements thus far have been pretty by-the-book.

In this week’s episodes Henry and Eliza are just starting to realize their feelings for each other, but neither is ready to admit it. Right on schedule.

The predictability will start to wear a little thin eventually, but Selfie has been doing an excellent job of making it work so far. The progression of the story is familiar but organic and any scenes John Cho and Karen Gillan share—which, in retrospect, is most of them—are delightful to watch. The characters and their relationship have been so well-developed that it isn’t hard to understand why they’d be attracted to each other. If the initial set-up was a little (read: a lot) goofy, the show has since proven its ability to balance out the goofy and the surreal with natural, human storytelling.

The progression of Henry and Eliza’s romance from subtext to not-so-sub-text was the focus of this week’s episodes, but the way they use the show's secondary characters is just as interesting. Most of the show’s scenes are between Henry and Eliza and nearly all of them feature at least one or the other, but Selfie has still managed to surreptitiously build a full cast of interesting characters along the way.

At the start of the series, Eliza didn’t even know Charmonique’s name, but by “Never Block Cookies,” they’re scheming together. Eliza isn’t being forced to have a conversation with her or guilt tripped into babysitting, they’re actually spending time together like real friends. The character has been fleshed out well, even without much screen time.  She only has one solo subplot under her belt, but she’s still a full, interesting character. When she admits her urges to “block” other peoples’ romance (“It’s like, I want people to be happy, but on the other hand, no I don’t.”), it’s unexpected, but not surprising because it’s so Charmonique.

If there’s one thing Selfie does better than anything else, it’s capture a point of view. Even though it’s a new show, Selfie seems so easily self-assured because its perspective and the perspectives of all of its characters are so specific. Characters are sharply defined from the moment they’re introduced. Even those with only a few appearances—Larry, Joan, Terrence—are individual personalities with unique characteristics.

This is also the reason the show is so funny. The characters aren’t just there to deliver the jokes, they deliver jokes from a specific point of view. It’s funny to see Larry get excited by the possibility of Eliza’s interest in Henry, but it’s even funnier knowing Larry’s history of getting excited and being wrong.

With Manhattan Love Story the first casualty of the new season, Selfie is starting to look especially vulnerable to cancellation (the choice to air two new episodes a week doesn’t bode well either). Selfie is easily the one of the best comedies on TV and in a perfect world that would be enough to keep it on the air. But this isn’t a perfect world, this is ABC. And here quality isn’t the deciding factor (R.I.P. Trophy Wife, Don’t Trust The B——, Happy Endings). Keep your fingers crossed.

Selfie airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on ABC

-Reid

My biggest complaint about How To Get Away With Murder thus far has been how flat the non-Annalise characters have been. Snappy one-liners and steamy sex scenes don’t count as character development, so the students are little more than one or two vague characteristics pretending to be a human being.

(Side note: The group has been dubbed the “Keating Five” by the show itself. I mean, come on. Just let the internet take care of that stuff for you, show)

Michaela is high-strung, Connor is irreverent, Laurel is caring and Asher is a doofus. As for Wes, it’s hard to even pick out one adjective to describe him (“boring” immediately springs to mind, but that doesn’t really count). He’s neither as ambitious nor as preternaturally talented as the others. Combine that with Alfred Enoch’s unfortunate acting choice of staring confusedly at everything unfolding before him, and his distinguishing characteristic has been his utter average-ness. He’s the everyman, the audience surrogate, special because he isn’t special at all. That’s been a problem.

In “Freakin’ Whack-A-Mole,” though, Murder is finally giving Wes some direction. He’s acting as a foil to Annalise, which means he’s more defined by what he isn’t than who he is, but it’s better than nothing. Annalise lives in gray areas, doing whatever it takes to win because she knows the world doesn’t reward heroes. Wes, on the other hand, is much more driven by the ideal of “goodness.” He protects Rebecca at all costs because it’s the right thing to do.

He’s not even afraid to call Annalise out on her bullshit. The trophy, a physical representation of her approval, means nothing to him if she isn’t living up to his standards, so he rejects it completely. The rest of the Keating Five only see the Annalise she projects, they clamor to get their hands on the trophy and when they see her fearlessly annihilate a senator in court, they talk about wanting to be her. They’re dazzled, but he can see sides of her they don’t.

Wes believes Rebecca is innocent and it’s looking more and more like Annalise’s husband could be guilty. At the top of the episode Wes challenges her to do what’s right and defend Rebecca, but by the end of the hour, Annalise still isn’t ready to let her husband go. She knows that the people with the power to create their own truth are the one’s rewarded—she literally says it in the episode—so she’s going to create her own truth and protect them both.

What she also knows, because she’s seen it first-hand, is that when people abuse their power, somebody else gets screwed. Whether it’s minority families losing their low-cost housing to line a senator’s pockets, a man framed for a murder he didn’t commit or a son who loses faith in the father he used to idolize, someone has to pay the consequences.

The show is setting up Wes and Annalise to be at odds further down the line and that’s a promising sign. Real conflict driven by real character motivations has been sorely lacking thus far and it’s about time Murder fleshed out a character enough to believably go toe-to-toe with Annalise.

How To Get Away With Murder airs Thursdays at 10/9c on ABC.

-Reid

Jake isn't feeling so great, his restless legs are bothering him. It isn't helping that BMO is loudly practicing his karate moves. He decides to go make soup and as he does so a fly lands on the side of the pot and starts drinking, totally grossed out Jake kills the fly. But that night, the fly returns as a GHOST FLY. 

Jake, BMO and Finn all get run out of the house by the ghost fly then call in Peppermint Butler to rid the house of this evil spirit. He draws protective circles around them and then gets down to business - but the ghost fly steals his bag and P Butler has to get out of there. Getting weary as the night wears on, Finn decides to try and expand his circle over to his comic book. When he does so the fly gets him and takes over his body.

There's only one thing they can do, BMO has to temporarily kill Jake so that he can be a ghost (he'll come back as a ghost after having unfinished business in the form of an unfinished joke) and fight the ghost fly on his plane. He does just that and Jake battles the ghost fly. It isn't until he accidentally knocks over the soup and the ghost fly drinks from it that he realizes the soup was his unfinished business - but the soup had to die by falling onto the floor first.

Cut to Jake waking up in a hospital, obviously having needed some extra reviving, and everyone being happy. 

This was a really fun episode of Adventure Time and I'd missed it dearly. Having Jake turn into a ghost in order to fight the fly ghost was fantastic and another great character moment as Jake would do anything to help Finn. It also had some great insight into the weirder side of BMO. Adventure Time airs at 6pm on Cartoon Network Tuesdays. 

Debbie thinks it's about time that Tom and Carol get their divorce finalized, there's no reason to put it off. They politely agree to meet and finish out all the details. Ray and Nathan have made fancy drinks, Kip comes over with Carol to act as her "lawyer" and all seems to be off to a good start until Carol gets a look at the divorce papers. It claims this was a no-fault divorce but she demands it says it was Tom's fault, he is the one who left. 

They get into an argument and decide then they just can't get divorced. Tom leaves to head back to Debbie's house and Carol goes with him. The next day no one has heard from them so Nathan, Debbie and Kip head over to the house and it's been dismantled. They head upstairs to find Tom and Carol in bed together. 

We montage through their previous night together. They discovered that all the things they hated about each other they've changed in their year apart. Tom knows how to do laundry, Carol can drive herself to the store, they both even like Game of Thrones, they can't figure out how to fight anymore.

They've decided to give their marriage another try. Debbie and Nathan are not happy. To try and convince Tom and Carol that they are not meant to be together they play the a couples quiz. Debbie and Adam VS Nathan and Ray (work spouses who are celebrating 10 years as being each other's emergency contacts) VS Tom and Carol.

Of course, it turns out that Tom and Carol really know nothing about each other. To top it all off, Carol learns that the only reason Tom likes Game of Thrones is for the boobs. That's it, they're going through with the divorce. They use a banquet hall they'd booked years ago for an anniversary party to have an official uncoupling ceremony. It's all very sweet and sentimental all leading up to a "last dance". 

This episode knocks it out of the park in every way. Every single character is utilized, we get some fantastic Ray/Nathan time and we get a real sweetness between Carol and Tom. The jokes are packed in. There's a runner of Debbie pretending to not know common phrases (Nathan: Haven't you ever heard of the phrase if it ain't broke, don't fix it? Debbie: No, I've never heard that before) and a great line of Tom revealing his desired superpower (I want to talk to dogs. I like dogs, I want to know why they don't like me). 

Top to bottom this was the best episode of The Millers and it really gives me a lot of faith in the upcoming season. The Millers airs on CBS at 8:30 

- Sammie

The problem with 2 Broke Girls isn't that it's bad, it's not. The jokes are fast and more than half of them land and the relationship between Max and Caroline is one of the best friendship bonds on TV. But something about it just ends up feeling lackluster. Years ago I said I wanted better for this show, and I still do.

The premiere centered around another celebrity guest they were able to land. A reality producer stops by the cupcake window and says she wants to bring by a reality show to shoot there. It turns out to be Keeping up with the Kardashians. In true form, they do a binge watching scene where Caroline and Max become obsessed with the show.

Cut to the next day and the Kardashians don't make it by, the reality producer comes by to tell them it isn't going to happen. So, Max goes to Kim K's hotel and throws cupcakes at her, Caroline gets her hair stuck in her murphy bed and in the end Kim K does stop by the cupcake window to buy a cupcake and tweet about it to her 22 million followers. 

The episode was fine, really it was. There were some good jokes about the lube in Caroline's nightstand being "makeup remover" and the hair getting trapped in the Murphy bed was great but other than that it wasn't too remarkable. I get that guest star episodes are a viewers draw but I feel like the show takes a step back during these episodes as it tries to shoehorn in the exciting guest. 2 Broke Girls airs at 8pm on CBS Mondays.

- Sammie

Constantine is about a guy, who is on a begrudging mission to save the living from a bunch of demons and hellish beasts. Only he isn't great at it, he is only decent. The episode introduces our guy after he has admitted himself in a mental institution after an exorcism gone bad. He's running away from his emotions! 

After a spooky tip off that a demon is after an old friend's daughter, he checks himself out to save her. We are introduced to Liv, who is totally a manic pixie dream girl with newly awakened powers to see the world, "how it really is," full of monsters. She doesn't trust Constantine, but then learns to when an electric sink hole almost kills her and her neighbor mysteriously dies and then reanimates to almost kill her. Ok. 

There are angels. Of course. This time they are kinda creepy in a way where I'm not sure I trust them. There is a guy who can come back to life, but in a non-demon-possessed way so he can make Constantine rack of lamb for the rest of his life. That interests me as I love lamb and strong silent types.

So far, there are two former Lost alums cast, which is always great to see. I found the heart to heart between Liv and Constantine to be highly obnoxious. "You run from your emotions with humor." Yup, I know. I've been watching the show. You don't have to tell me in dialog. Turns out Constantine's secret mission is to find the spirit of his dead mother and save a little girl he sent to hell. Both sound like terrible ideas, but could make for great creepy emotional television. In the end, Liv decides to hide from her new found powers to see a cousin in California. I wonder how long that will last? 

Ultimately, so far it's just your standard demon show. Nothing about it is new or different for the genre, however I personally love the genre enough to keep going with this new series. It has major Heroes vibes in a sense that it might not be so "demon of the week" format and more solving one big huge problem, which I think I'd prefer in this case. Although, I could be majorly wrong.

Ok. So Jake is in some box getting “interrogated”, basically getting politely asked for a confession for killing Jerry. This isn’t his first rodeo, so he is waiting out for the president to come to him. The president finally comes, they bro out. Jake reminds us they are both “good guy white hats.” This is really about Fitz’ need to OWN Olivia. More on that later.

Olivia and Quinn witness a murder, they are working on that case I don’t care about from a few episodes ago. Quinn opens up the body to find a key in the stomach. Which was cool, because I love ballzy Quinn, but I just realized that if the girl just swallowed a key. Wouldn’t it be in her throat? Anyway, they are on that case. It’s only cool because Olivia gets to threaten people again, which is a contrast because she has found out from Cy that Jake is being held for Jerry’s murder. She feels helpless. This is all happening as she is trying to put her firm back together. So many feels that she is drinking “cheap” wine.

Millie finds out Jerry was murdered and didn’t just randomly die. This makes her shower again. Cool.

David tells Abby how he used the B6-13 files for evil. He says they both got to stop trying to be Olivia Pope, but who doesn’t want to win all the time and have a fabulous coat collection?

Huck is watching his real family from the street. His wife won’t let him see his son. When she relents, it’s just a trick to get him to see a therapist. She doesn’t believe him. He told the truth and she lied to him. Every time Huck cries, I cry.

Then Abby hugs Olivia, I cried again.

I didn’t write about last week’s episode because I have stuff to do okay! However, I am still raging over Fitz. The guy judges his manhood solely on possessing a woman against her better judgement. Punches a guy over having sex with her without his blessing and not over presumably killing his son. I understand that the white hat has to get dirty sometimes, that’s the whole point of the show basically, but Fitz is always out of control. He is basically a carbon copy of the Father he despises. I love that Millie points that out at every opportunity to hurt him, but it’s absolutely true. He hasn’t raped anyone’s wife yet, but he does continually wish to rule over Olivia. Keep her kept. Anyway, this has been another Fitz-hate rant. Goodnight and may the gladiators bless you.

How To Get Away With Murder’s characters aren’t friends—it’s right there in the title of this week’s episode—but they have no choice but to trust each other. They have to work together on Annalise’s cases and, even more important, they have to Get Away With Murder together. They’re a bunch of independent, self-interested individuals who are busy living their own lives, and suddenly they’ve found themselves having to put their fate in the hands of people they don’t even like.

Typically, this would be a good source of drama, but the characters on Murder are too underdeveloped to make it work. The structure of the show means the flash-forwards always replay the same events, focusing on a different character each time. New details are revealed, but the points of view aren’t specific enough to make any one version significantly different from the others. They fight, they argue, they yell, but it still feels completely devoid of conflict.

Because the show doesn’t want us to know how the students found themselves having to dispose of Sam Keating’s body, it limits the usefulness of the flash-forwards. The characters can’t argue about why they’re doing what they’re doing—that would give away too much—so they just argue about how they’re doing it. And disagreement over the logistics of disposing of a body isn’t the most interesting disagreement to be had when disposing of a body.

Laurel, the bleeding-heart Ivy Leaguer respected by no one, gets the spotlight this week and it highlights many of the show’s weaknesses. For one, she’s probably the least interesting of Annalise’s students (with the possible exception of Matt McGorry’s Asher who doesn’t seem to be important beyond comic relief) and the show doesn’t bother to try to change that. We see events as they happen around her, but she isn’t the reason they happen. Even when she “wins” the case for the team by slipping one of the jurors information, it’s not specific to her character. Any of the other students could have been substituted in and the episode would have worked just as well.

The character far more fully realized than any of the others is still Annalise. After last week’s episode, she’s dealing with the fallout of finding out that her husband has been sleeping with one of his students. She loves him, but she’s finally seeing what kind of person he is (a liar, a cheater, an all-around slimy human being) and she has to deal with it. From betrayal to rage to exhaustion, Annalise gets to have full, human reaction because she’s a well-developed, three-dimensional character.

The final scene this week, Wes discovering that the penis on Lila’s phone belongs to Annalise’s husband, plays out in stark contrast to last week’s. Where last week saw Annalise stripping down, preparing to confront her husband unencumbered, this week Wes catches her completely off-guard. She’s again undressed and bare-faced, but this time it’s not by choice. Her flustered reaction is markedly different from the calm Annalise who confronted her husband last week.

None of the other characters have the same complexity Annalise does because she’s the show’s central character, but she still isn’t the one driving the story. We only see her reacting to her husband’s actions in one timeline and she doesn’t even appear in the other. The students have far more impact on how the story plays out week-to-week. The only problem is they’re much less interesting to watch.

How To Get Away With Murder airs Thursdays at 10/9c on ABC.

-Reid

First of all. That was the most trendy dressed junkie I have ever seen. He can buy $100 boots but needs to panhandle for drugs? 

I'm turning on Gordon, because he doesn't respect the sanctity of lunchtime.

Why show the body crushing at all if it's gonna look like you squashed a paper doll?

Everything about the story is too convenient. 

Oh wow, terrorist is at the previously name dropped event where a central character is already headed. Who'd have thunk it?

Where is Barbara? Oh yeah, Gordon didn't need his ego soothed or his intentions questioned this episode. 

It's not the ridiculous murder of the week in the episodes that make me hate it, it's how they solve them. So easy, boring, and cheap. I feel cheated. The only remotely enjoyable element of this show is the occasional hint to the stories we already know, like when they mention Venom. It's why Penguin's storyline is the only interesting one for me. Fish Mooney was cool for a while, but the fact that her weaponized woman was for Falcone, (presumedly to give the guy airtime and a pretty thing to act with) was so predictable I could of puked. I thought Fish would be more creative than that.  

I'm over it.

After choosing to side with the women and send Drew home last week, Jeremy feels like he’s in a good place. He’s not wrong. As soon as they get back to camp after Tribal Council, Jon is prostrating himself at Jeremy’s feet, desperately trying to convince him of his loyalty (come on, man. Have a little dignity). But he immediately dooms himself when he utters the phrase, “I’m in a beautiful spot right now.” I don’t think it’s likely that the producers chose to have tribe swap at this moment just to mess with Jeremy, but you have to admit, he was tempting fate with that one.

When the tribes arrive at Hero Arena, Coyopa is shocked—shocked—to see that Drew was the one voted out. They were so sure that he was “Mr. Popular” over there. Alec is so surprised that he even sheds a few tears. He just can’t believe that he finally beat his Big Bro at something for the first time. While it’s nice to see his ego get a reprieve from what is obviously a pretty crippling inferiority complex, you have to wonder whether or not he actually “beat” Drew at anything. Sure, he outlasted him in the game and credit where credit’s due there, but let’s not forget that Drew threw that challenge. Aside from, you know, not sucking enough to lose to a guy trying to lose, Alec didn’t really do much that constitutes “beating” his brother.

Anyway, after that little bit of hoopla, Jeff tells them all to drop their buffs. It’s time for a tribe swap. The new Hunahpu is made up of Josh and Reed, Natalie, Alec, Jeremy, Julie and Wes. Coyopa has Keith playing seventh wheel to Jon and Jaclyn, Baylor and Missy, and Dale and Kelley. At first glance, it looks like either Keith, Reed or Josh will be the first to go. The only solo player and the only couple are easy first votes.

There’s no reward challenge this week, so the Survivors head back to their new homes. Usually a tribe swap indicates the start of a whole new game. It’s enough of a disturbance to the old alliances and power dynamics that the players have to completely rethink their strategy. This season, though, who knows what that means? No one has a strategy to rethink.

So instead of strategy, we get a lot of rice drama. Now, I’ll admit that in the grand scheme of things food is far more important than Survivor—I think on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs it goes food, shelter, love, free Wi-Fi and then Survivor—but honestly, I really don’t give a shit. If they’re fighting about rice, then they’re not playing the game and isn’t that really the whole point?

The crux of the issue is that Hunahpu was much less conservative about their rice intake, so Wes, Josh and Alec are shocked—shocked—to learn that their new tribe only has a few scoops of rice left when the tribe they left behind had anywhere from half to two-thirds to three times their original supply left, depending on who’s talking and how melodramatic they’re feeling about the whole situation.

My first instinct here is to point out that Hunahpu did have more mouths to feed than Coyopa. The math just wasn’t in their rice-consuming favor. But then Missy tries to make rice at the Coyopa camp and Dale’s head nearly explodes. He’s so surprised, his socks are physically knocked off of his feet. Clearly, the old Hunahpu got a little too comfortable over-eating.

At the immunity challenge, the tribes have to dig up a bag of keys, crawl through a mud pit, shake sandbags out of a tree (note: not actually a tree, this is not Animal Crossing) and toss ten of the bags onto a platform. Sounds like a lot of challenge, right? Like a lot of time for a big comeback or an exciting back-and-forth? Well it’s not. I don’t know if they all just misunderstood the rules of the show and think that wearing orange means they have to stink at everything, but the new Coyopa is no better than the old one. They took years to find their bag, couldn’t figure out how to shake the tree (note: still not a tree) and even though they didn’t get a chance to try the last leg, I’m pretty sure that was for the best.

Coyopa shuffles back to camp, with their tails between their legs, trying to figure out who’s going home, but Hunahpu has one more thing to take care of before they leave. They need more rice, so they tell Jeff that they’re willing to make a trade. This is ridiculous for many, many reasons. But mainly, if you’re just asking for things, why not ask for cheeseburgers?

Jeff is obviously willing to give them more rice—they aren’t going to let half the cast just starve to death—he just needs some time to think of how best to gouge them in return (Had they not asked and simply waited to see how it played out, they definitely would’ve gotten the rice eventually and probably would’ve gotten a better deal too). He also points out that this is probably why Hunahpu was winning so many challenges, all that rice gave them more energy. What he’s forgetting is that Coyopa sucked right out of the gate, long before they were starving.

(Side note: You could probably trace this whole rice debacle back to Hunahpu losing their flint. Had they not lost it, they wouldn’t have had to trade away fishing gear, meaning they could’ve offset their rice consumption with fish and wouldn’t be in such a crisis.)

(Side-side note: You could probably also trace it back to them eating two full meals a day.)

Meanwhile, Keith seems to be off the hook. The big to-do over rice portions has caused a rift between Miss and Baylor and Dale and Kelley. They’ve turned on each other and now they’re fighting over Jon and Jaclyn’s votes. Dale tries to win them over by telling them that Baylor is a flip-flopper who can’t be trusted. Baylor tries to win them over by fawning over them and telling them that they’re a super cute couple.

Flattery wins the day and Jon and Jaclyn vote with Baylor and her mom to send home Kelley. So to anyone who was thinking, “Man, I really want to see more of Missy and Baylor.” Congratulations, you horrible monster.

Survivor: San Juan Del Sur—Blood vs. Water airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on CBS.

-Reid

Amy pretends to be home sick but surprises karma at school with an elaborate scavenger hunt recounting their whole life and friendship together. They start out in Karma's room where Amy's filled the whole thing with balls to create a ball pit. Karma is having fun until Amy announces the next clue is on one of the zillion of balls. 

Meanwhile, Theo and Liam decide to go take an MMA class which Shane obviously doesn't want to go to. He runs into Lauren on the way out and the two decide to crash the MMA class. 

All Karma wants to do is read a letter from Liam that he left in her locker but Amy insists that there are no presents or cards until the scavenger hunt is over. They continue through their lives stopping in with Karma's Aunt "Sage" for a tea leaf reading. At this point, Karma is desperate so she grabs Amy's jacket (where the card was) to find that it's gone. She insists they retrace their steps to find the card. 

At the gym we get some banter between Theo and Shane as well as Lauren trying to suss out Theo. Lauren is worried that Liam told Theo about her secret but Liam didn't, and says that she's lucky that the only thing standing in between her and what she wants is herself.

Amy and Karma are back in the ball pit digging through the balls. Karma finally admits that the card she's looking for is from Liam and Amy hands it over, she had it the entire time. Karma breaks down, telling Amy that she chose their friendship over her chance to be with Liam. 

The show ends on Amy and Karma having a nice beat and Liam showing up at Amy's request. She is basically giving them the go ahead and saying she doesn't want to stand in the way of them being together. 

Faking It is moving the story along at a fantastic pace. Karma and Liam were bound to get together at some point and it was great that it was Amy that helped them finally do so. Now, is Liam going to tell Karma about he and Amy's hookup? That's the biggest question mark. I also love that they continue to explore Theo as a protruding force in Liam and Shane's friendship. It's quite excellent. Faking It airs on MTV Tuesdays at 10:30. 

Jake's moving in to Annie's place and Gil, Dennah and Kay are helping but once the boxes are down they all immediately ditch them. Of course, Jake goes right to changing things in Annie's apartment. Putting up his big TV in the living room, moving her knick-knacks, Annie is dying inside. She goes to talk to her Dads about it when Dennah crashes to talk about how someone thought she was old - but she's shut down deeming Annie's problem more crucial.

Annie goes back to her apartment to find Jake rocking out on the couch with a guitar making a total mess and Annie leaves to chill in her Volkswagen in the parking garage. Meanwhile Gil has set up shop at a 24 hour buffet and he is determined to stay there forever and cash in on as much food as he can. He manages to stay there 29 hours before accidentally leaving when Jake comes in asking for advice and he follows him out. 

Annie has made her car into a little apartment on wheels. She's wearing her bathrobe, she's hung up curtains, she's got wine, candles and the Real Housewives. Dennah spots her and jumps into her car - she's gotten botox after Gil told her that she should get it to combat looking old and obviously she's had an allergic reaction. Then, one by one, everyone piles into Annie's car apartment all telling her she has to go talk to Jake. 

As soon as she steps out of her car, wine glass in hand, there's a cop there. He ends up letting her go as Jake shows up to talk to her about everything. We end on the three side characters going back to the buffet so they can watch the "changing of the soups" song and dance that Gil experienced in his overnight stay there and Annie and Jake laying in her car watching the Real Housewives. 

This is a really, really great episode with the quick quips we've come to expect from David Caspe and gang. I'm warming up to the side characters and was so pleased the Dads were in this episode again. I thought this was a great opportunity to showcase everyone's eccentricities and I have nothing to say other than, great freaking episode. Marry Me airs on NBC at 9pm on Tuesdays. 

Marcus and Will sumo wrestle wrapped in bubble wrap as they discuss Will's upcoming move. Marcus' last request is that Will finds him a best friend to replace him. Will goes to Marcus' school to talk to kids and decides they're all beneath Marcus and that what he needs is another adult friend. He brings over Andy, Zach Cregger and his manager to all play in the dating game to try and match up Marcus with one of them.

Meanwhile, Will had talked to Sam and she was discouraged with his lack of packing so she offered to come out to help him finish and then drive across the country with him. She shows up early, during the dating game, and is pretty annoyed that he's just goofing off instead of packing. 

Marcus is matched up with Andy and tries to be friends with him which of course doesn't work. Then while everyone is packing the next day the cops come over because of Will's ad. Marcus put up an ad in New York for a young friend for Will in NY. The cops accept this and leave.

That night they are all having dinner around the boxes and it's actually super sentimental. Will gives a speech about how they aren't just his friends but his family and I start feeling things and get less mad about this fake-out. 

The next day Sam and Will are on the truck heading towards New York and she tells him to pull over. She says she'll fly back to NY and he should drive back to San Fran. She loves him too much to take him away from the place where he's supposed to be. Those people are his family. And she's crying, and he's crying and I'm crying and we end on Will returning for good. 

Okay, so I legit had feels even though we all knew this was coming. It's not how TV works, he isn't going to leave but I felt things. I'm glad we're done with the faux moving but it really left us with this great emotional moment. Will needs to be there with his people. Ugh, feelings. About a Boy airs on NBC Tuesdays at 9:30. 

It's looking like about time that Carol got her own place. Nathan has been taking her all over the city looking for a new abode (though, of course, she loves the place right next door - it comes furnished!). He ends up discovering a senior citizen center near Debbie's house (perfect) and tries to get her in there.

He's stopped in his tracks when they find out from the guy in charge, Kip (Sean Hayes), that there's nine people in front of her on the list. After learning that Kip and his former partner love Nathan he tries to seduce him in an attempt to move Carol up the list. It turns out it wasn't Kip that was attracted to him but his partner. So, in an attempt to make Kip's partner jealous he and Nathan have to pretend to be dating. 

In the end, they're discovered and Carol moves in next door - with Kip.

There were some great moments in this episode. A runner of pig latin (also the only other language I speak), a pug in a sweater and a gag about how stupid Nathan is. It was weird having the whole episode be an A-line (unless you count Tom having a hookup as a storyline) but it was overall successful. My biggest concern moving forward is the addition of Kip. While I like Sean Hayes, having him move in with Carol feels like such a shoehorn move to have him be a part of the show. I'm cautiously optimistic that he'll bring a lot to the show but hopefully not at the neglect of any of the established characters. The Millers airs on CBS at 8:30 on Mondays.