ah these pretzels suck

Hyperion would like to remind you that your chances of survival increases by 69% when you accept Handsome Jack as your savior.

“Y A W N. Has anyone ever told you you’re the personification of a yawn?”        If eye rolls could be heard, his would be louder than any alarm this kid has ever heard.Or perhaps she could hear his exaggerated chewing showing how enthusiastic he was about hearing her bitch about him.       “Go on, keep talking, kiddo. Maybe you’ll get smarter the more you insult a smart person”.

You know me, cupcake, always in a good mood when I get to hear the voices of the so-called “competition”. I don’t want you hurt, I know the truth hurts but I just can’t have you admitting defeat so easily. Although you should, but that’s for another day. Right now I just want you to remember how hard you’re gonna have to work if you ever want to beat Hyperion and all our lovely shades of yellow. Found new ways to throw your guns like savages?

Hyperion would like to remind you that calling youself trash is a copyright infrigment, and that the only person allowed to call you 'trash' is Handsome Jack himself.