Student to Surgeon

As future doctors, most medical students share that similar quality that we want to help other people. Ironically, being in medical school temporarily forces us to do what’s opposite of our nature: to be selfish. The hours I spend working and studying mean when I’m free to call family- they’re either not awake yet or already in bed. I often wonder if my family knows I love them most, even though my priorities don’t show it. My brother’s getting married and I don’t know if I’ll make the wedding. I’m missing my cousin’s wedding in 2 months. My 90 year old grandmother fell and broke her hip, was hospitalized twice, and moved into assisted living and I haven’t seen her since her move 8 weeks ago. I didn’t help her move. I wasn’t there to drive her to appointments or bring groceries/food after her fall. My great aunt had a heart attack and I finally spoke to her a week afterwards when SHE called ME. My nephews’ birthdays come and go and I haven’t sent cards or called. My mom hasn’t had help around her house or with yardwork in months. Family cancers and surgeries, new jobs and trips. I stay off facebook because I can barely keep up with my own life, let alone the lives of my loved ones. 

It’s a terrible existence- and you feel as though you let the people who matter in your heart down. Repeatedly. I hope they forgive me one day. 

I hope they know the reason I neglect them and forget important details for family is so that I can remember other things that might save or improve quality of someone’s life someday. A lot of the stuff seems so very minute, specific and ultimately not helpful, but maybe someday it’ll be useful (glycine, lysine and proline make up collagen?). Some helpful things I learned about today were reconciling pregnancy dating when there’s a discrepancy between last known menstrual periods and ultrasound, non immune causes of fetal hydrops and management, management of hepatitis B in pregnancy, how to manage advanced maternal age and obesity in pregnancy with respect to antenatal testing. 

The OB/GYN residency match has become increasingly competitive for lots of reasons. It’s a transitional time -the single accreditation system that has essentially united all residencies under the ACGME has essentially removed the separate-match barrier between traditionally MD vs DO residencies accepting their respective candidates. Despite the political move, it seems most MD programs will continue to discriminate wildly against DOs-- for example the University of Colorado-Denver charges a modest $150 fee for externship to MD students in their fourth year to rotate at their hospital whereas they charge an exorbitant $4,150 to osteopathic students and IMGs. On my midwest rotations I often run into students from ‘west coast’ schools- Western U, PNWU, AZCOM, Rocky Vista- because their home states in the west are barren of D.O.-friendly OB/GYN programs. It’s surprising that the part of the USA with the holistic reputation similar to osteopathic philosophy isn’t training doctors to practice in that way. 

I’d love to be at an academic osteopathic residency where I am supported and welcomed and the holistic osteopathic philosophy is continued in my education. So, as part of my fourth year education I am doing rotations at a variety of hospitals with traditionally AOA-accredited residencies. I’m currently on my 3rd rotation and applications are due in 2 weeks. Competition is ramping up. Pressure is on to behave perfectly every day on these ‘away’ rotations (also known as auditions or sub-internships) because it is essentially a 2-4week interview. You aren’t the only one interviewing for the residency slot on the rotation- currently, I share the rotation with 6 other hopeful students. Last rotation there were 4 of us; the one before that 6. We try to be friends, but there is always that undercurrent of competition that you know you need to watch your back.