you look so cool --

I’m just honestly surprised the record label allowed you guys to even make the request let alone accept it. But I guess you guys must be that talented they were willing to bend a little. Of course my cousin found it. I ain’t judging I’m just saying if you’re gonna strip always remember where your clothes land.

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We are pretty fucking talented. Plus they’ve got their own things they’re setting up as well. While we’re signed we don’t have a manager yet so I think they’re waitin’ to find the perfect one for us before we head out anywhere. Eviana always has my back, she’s the best. Fair enough - it certainly wasn’t the first shirt I lost.

[PM] Because of the close proximity you and Aaron are often the one that get the most comparison, yes.  But based on some things he’s said, I wonder if he’s comparing us to Mathias and Jason now, especially since the Hive mentioned Mathias might have given Jason a promise ring for Christmas.  And we spent time during the holidays with Soren, Manny, and the twins, and I wonder if he’s not making comparisons there too.  I also see it not just when it comes to relationships though.  He wants to be this person and have the career of that person.  Which, I get the ambition and having a role model, and someone to mentor yourself after, but I miss Ross.  Maybe it’s not fair of me to say that.  Since it’s his career and this is obviously what he wants.  I worry though that what I have to offer him isn’t enough and that’s why he keeps comparing himself, and our relationship, to others.

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[ PM ] I feel like every time I tell Ross not to compare his and yours relationship he gets upset when I tell him the reasons. Not that I think the time and length of knowing a person should define the center of a relationship, but it certainly helps make things go a bit... different. At least in my opinion. I mean, I miss Ross too. It’s something I’ve noticed a lot too, and something that’s makin’ me anxious about the signing and everything. Sure, role models are great and they’re what inspire the love of somethin’ ... but I worry he’s going to try and achieve that same greatness too fast. Does that make sense? Like Beyoncé, has all this success that I feel Ross is trying to pack in a short time. He’s gonna burn out. It’s not healthy. It’s okay to just chill and take everything day by day and enjoy what you’ve got, ya know?

I’m just hoping it’s better than last year.  Really, it shouldn’t be that hard to be better; considering everything that came down last year.  

I will take that peace for sure, although there is still a lot of turmoil going on so who knows.  Thanks for that.  Evie keeps offering too but life keeps happening.  

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Agreed.

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Right?! Part of me wishes I’d come home sooner– or more often– to do stuff with the fam. Blaine’s been pretty helpful with stuff I don’t really get the first time around– I didn’t realize how much goes into a theatre production before I actually became part of one. It’s a little overwhelming even with a small part but I’m just glad to be part of it all.

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I think family time is super important. Like I dunno, maybe I got lucky that I’m super tight with my fam but I feel like even if they didn’t wanna hang out with me, they’d still wanna hang out with me. Family is weird like that ya know? It is super overwhelming but it’s gives a whole new perspective into it and I just have a shit ton of respect to those who do it a lot. I don’t know if that’ll be me, I’m way too comfortable rockin’ out with a guitar on stage instead of bein’ vulnerable but kudos to those who can.

[PM] Which is exactly what he said.  The need to make sure it’s perfect.  I think it’s also a bit of his want to have it all. I think he might see the grass as being greener other places sometimes or maybe has some fomo.  

I don’t want to add to your plate, but if it comes up… sure.  

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[ PM ] I’m not.. hm. I agree with that. He does a lot of relationship comparison... and not that it’s a bad thing.. just makes me concerned, ya know? I think you and Ross are great together and it makes me sad when y’all get compared to Aaron and I. 

I’ve decided a little less pressure on myself and the new year.  Here’s hoping though.  And thank you, for what you said.  That kind of means a lot.

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Less pressure is definitely important. While I think it’s important to have expectations and things for yourself, the stress of the pressure just makes it not enjoyable.

*

If you don’t mind, I’ll decide for myself if you’re the hottest thing or not. Depending on how you actually sound. I haven’t heard it yet. What could possibly be more serious?

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Well if you’re not a fan of rock music you’re not gonna dig us. That’s cool though, we know that the music ain’t for everyone but for those who dig the rock vibe we’re going to blow ‘em all way. Plus we’re all smokin’ hot. It’s a plus. Well I’m currently in a musical and I’m tryin’ to not bail on commitments, and I’ve got a daughter... so definitely important. 

jisung: so

jisung: i have an idea for my youtube channel

jisung: but

jisung: i kinda need a band

jisung: would you be interested?

stevie: sup dude!

stevie: oh? for sure. i gotta talk to the boys but i'm sure they'd be down.

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I know I definitely wanna celebrate Lunar New Year with the fam– it’s the first time in a long time and I wanna recreate Christmastime when we all got together, y'know? I think the more I rehearse and run through the lines, the more comfortable I get with the role. But I know you’re gonna be awesome– Roger is like, the perfect role for you! Y'know, cuz of the rockstar vibes… not– not because of the AIDS.

Oh yeah, I love the food there loads. Live music is just another reason to go there more often now!

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I think those are bomb ideas, Tommy! That’ll be such a special thing. It’s always nice to do things with your family. Not that time runs short with them, but I think spending all the time together that you can is great. Hell yeah, that’s the way to do it! Plus I’m sure if you needed any help Blaine or even Mathias would be down to help. Mathias has been helpin’ me a lot with stuff. My voice is definitely not made for the theatre life so it’s been a rollercoaster but I’m stoked. Haha, thanks, dude. And yeah, glad it’s mostly for the rockstar vibes.

[PM]: To tell you the truth, I’m not even sure if that’s the actual case. Because he’s been so excited about it and in some ways, still is very excited about it.  So on one hand Ross brings up things that make me feel like the album is all good and going ahead, and the next moment brings up something, that maybe makes it seem like things are not good at all.  So I am not sure what to think at the moment.  I figured if you’d noticed something too, then maybe it would help give me a clue as to what is actually going on.

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[ PM ] That’s so... weird. I guess maybe he’s realizing things may need more work? Wants to make it perfect. That is a weird Berry trait after all, ya know?