My cat sleeps in positions that remind me of the grotesque plaster casts of people and animals that died in agony in Pompeii. My cat sleeps like a wilted and dying spider that has just been sprayed with Raid.

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools

your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools

your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths

It’s summer so I have family members being like “Come visit me on the mountain. It’s almost raspberry season. I got new chickens, come see them.” Like, guys, I CAN’T. I CANNOT leave my cats alone overnight. I trusted Tommy to be alone in the house overnight (before she was insulin dependent) but Odette will build a nuclear reactor in the house and allow it to meltdown if I leave her alone for more than 5 hours.

Being physically strong does kinda mess with your head when you have health problems I think. Like you know that logically your muscle mass isn’t gonna stop you from having a sleep disorder or asthma or whatever but when it happens anyways you’re like damn life really doesn’t work like comic books huh? Frankly I am disappointed.

I’ve lived alone cooking for one and I’ve been the main cook in the house for several people. I’ve worked with a budget of ten dollars and I’ve worked with a weekly budget of three hundred dollars. And either way there’s just never enough freezer space somehow.

Do you want to see more sword crime? 👀

I’d die on the hill that “stranger danger” is a deeply unhelpful mentality to have. “Ooooh everyone is out to get me they’re all gonna perpetrate harm that’s actually more likely to come from someone I already know. I better never talk to anyone in my community who I don’t already know, just to be safe. I’m sure there are no other biases interwoven with this mentality” like oh my god human traffickers do not just randomly spawn in every parking lot. You don’t have to go solo hitchhiking across the country but you also don’t have to live in fear that every guy on the street is the knife man who’s gonna get you. Like have situational awareness, yeah. But most of the time the guy on the street is not knife man he’s actually just a guy on the street and he’s probably pretty chill, and you’re driving yourself crazy by living in a constant state of unnecessary fear.

cleaned out the garage and found my old thinking cap from when i would think

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

me switching between lmao, lol, haha, and keysmashing to keep my laughter fresh and fun

This. Please. Whether I'm avoiding spoilers for a show or people promoting eating disorders, if I block a tag it means I don't want to see it. Spell your fucking tags properly.

WE SAY SHIT HERE SIR

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