thesmutlord

My journey into writing fics started when I was watching a very old Diamonds in the Rough video. Nilesy and Sjin made some joke about "giving the shippers more fuel" (I think that was the same episode anyway) and one way or another, my curiosity was piqued and I found my way to the slash tags here on tumblr. I read some very nice fics about Sjips and Honeyphos, and was amazed by the works of artists and writers (and downright in awe of Myranium, my first senpai).

A little bit of background on me, I never was in ANY fandoms, nor had I heard of headcanons, otp, shipping, any of that stuff. I didn't even know these things existed. And I was delighted and amused that so many people were interested in imagining these boys on youtube being gay for each other. My amusement turned into fascination, and I became a nightly lurker of certain tags and blogs, yearning for more! But I still didn't really know my way around this place or what it was all about.

But what I did know, however, is I really wanted to push Nilesy and Sjin's faces together and make them kiss. But I didn't understand why, despite my extensive searches, there wasn't any shippy Nilesy/Sjin fics or artwork out there yet, that I could find. So, inspired by the wonderful characterization Myra had put out there, I felt it was my duty to try my own hand at writing this stuff myself. Thus, thesmutlord was born.

I made my blog but left it postless for at least a couple weeks as I worked diligently on my first fic. When I had finally gotten it to a point I was ready to show off, it was unfinished but I was still preparing myself to write the actual dirty scenes for the first time ever, but I was curious if I would get any feedback so I decided to post it anyway in its half-finished state. So I finally did, late one night, being careful to use only the tags I'd found in my searches.

The next day I went to work and forgot all about it until the evening. I went to a friend's house after work for a visit and suddenly remembered I hadn't checked on it, so I quietly opened the mobile app on my phone and navigated to the page. And I was blown away, it had 11 notes!! It was even reblogged a few times with very encouraging comments! In my head I was flipping out haha. Even the great and powerful Myranium had liked it, if not on the first day then within a couple of days. It lit the fire under me to finish this fic and also start working on my next fic idea, a headcanon I had (before I knew it was a headcanon or what headcanons were) for a Sips character called Miss Bacon.

After receiving the like from Myra, I messaged her, and we eventually exchanged gchat names and started talking every day. She taught me about all the terms and proper tagging and stuff like that. And we brainstormed together and exchanged notes on characters. Without Myra and her encouragement about my writing I don't know that I would have finished half of what I have to show off today. Befriending her and the support of people who liked what I wrote led to me connecting to a group of fellow shippers on Skype, and we eventually nicknamed our little group The Van. We all shared ideas and helped each other out and I must also give them credit for really helping me and my stories. Catterfly, Meelane, Countthelions and Yogdrabbles were infinitely encouraging and had infinite good ideas. So thank you forever to everyone from the Van for accepting me and giving me a little fandom family to call my own.

So, that leads up to several months ago. I lost my job and had to move out of town and back in with my parents. I've always suffered from anxiety and bouts of pretty severe depression and this was a big change for me, so I paused from writing. Then I continued to focus on other things, trying to get a job, trying out some temp jobs and hating them, and dealing with living with my family which is not a very good thing for me mentally. There just became less and less energy to spend on stuff like writing after a while.

And then at some point during all of that, everything kind of changed. Tekkit ended its run, they finally got the factory functional and there was no real reason for them to continue on that server build. But literally all of my headcanons still rested firmly within that world. The machine fics and the infatuation series still took place there, and the big changes to the server would cause big changes to how my stories were planned to go. The video content started changing too, they were starting to collab more with people like hatfilms, who I must controversially admit I never really got very into. It seemed like the accepted headcanons for certain characters were changing into something I wasn't familiar with, and since the videos were changing as well I was less connected to them, and the constant fuel on the shipping fire that was the series like Tekkit and Diamonds was drying up. So I kept extending my break on writing until I was ready to go back and either revamp how the things in the series played out, or just ignore the changes and write them how it was intended. But I pretty much had stopped watching new uploads from virtually all yogs channels by that point. Things just didn't feel the same.

But that's about where life stepped in. I got a better job and am trying to get things settled here so my partner Binchute can move here, and in the meantime started working on other projects that were more related to other stuff I was getting into.

So, will I ever finish the series I started? Maybe. I would still love to write the next chapter of the machine fic I had outlined (and there was a sketch for the accompanying artwork for). I would love to write more infatuation or write more sjips pwp, those were always fun. My otps will never ever die, I say that with confidence. But at this phase of my life, it's not seeming like the most likely thing to happen, at least for a while. (I do still have a sjips pwp completed in my drafts that has never been released because Binny and I became too busy to devote the time to finishing up the art and stuff for it.) I would also love to finally write out the planned posts I have for the askpuppysjin blog that we accidentally let fizzle out much before its time.

So as for what happened to this blog, the simple answer is nothing. Which is a disappointing answer, I know. For now I will just continue to occasionally reblog random nice dirty drawings I happen to come across on my dash. And maybe someday I'll find the time again to write more. But thank you all so very much for liking what I made, and sticking around with me during my very lengthy dry spell. You are all amazing and wonderful and quite perverted and I love that about you.

If for some reason you'd want to see more occasional posts from me, I do have a casual blog where I sometimes put stuff, and I keep meaning to post there more often, but we'll see if I actually remember to.

Please never hesitate to inbox me if you ever want to just say hello or have any questions about anything, just please don't be anon when you do so I can message you back privately. I still check my dash every day so I will be able to get back to you as soon as I can. A kiss for all of you: u3u

I hope this wasn't too ridiculous and long-winded. Well, let's be honest, I know it was. Sorry again to mobile users. An extra kiss for you and your pro scrolling skills u3u.

And thank you for reading if you did!