King Fucked It

I'm sick of the way that I feel like I can't talk to anyone about what's going on in my head because everyone's so fucked and especially now because of this year long lockdown we've been in. I'm sick of the fucking groundhog Day conversations I have with my decaying dad. I'm sick of trying to help my friends when they say they're sick of lockdown. I'm sick of trying to give them hope when I fucking have none myself. I'm sick of feeling like an idiot when I talk to my band. I'm sick of getting no positive feedback. I'm sick of someone in the band making me feel small and that he's better than me. I'm sick of trying to be creative and having it all get shot down all the time. I'm sick of not having any motivation because of this. I'm sick of my fucking room and being confined in this box all day and night. I'm sick of people saying they're here for me and they either don't talk to me outside of what they NEED from me or say sorry I can't help and don't talk. I'm sick of this loneliness I have and feeling like a fucking incel or a soft fuck boy if I talk about it. I'm so sick of the voices plaguing my mind every day and fucking night.

I'm sick of this tiredness, and I'm so, so fucking tired.