Anastasia RP blog

 She smiled fondly at her sister, squeezing here hands back. “I love you too, my little half. And I am so happy to share this with you.” Her eyes grew misty, again. She was going to defenestrate him he next time he tried to get her pregnant, she swore. “Dima told me you have a plan for us three, so you never run out of kids to babysit,” she said with laugh; knowing her sister, it was probably true. And there was no way she was settling for just two.

“Oh! I do!!” Anya turned with a wide, mischievous smile. “It’s all in my planner! What year who needs to have a baby..I think you get a two year break. Olya is next.” She explained the plan, searching for her phone. “It’s all planned...oh where is my phone...I have ten years planned!”

gently pressing your head against your lover’s back while they cut vegetables, your lover sitting on the kitchen counter while you talk about your day at work and wait for the water to boil, giving them little pecks while they stir the vegetables, eating the food together, washing the dishes together… you know what i mean

“I just wondered, thats all. I love maria so much I know it would never be possible to feel this way about another person.” She said easily, kissing her daughter’s hair and smiling at her.  “It’s so hard to explain, i’m sure.”

“I will never have another one.” She shook her head. “I don’t particularly want to. I like having Maria. But I can’t put my body through that again. No way. And I have yours and Tatiana’s and Olya’s. Why have my own if you will do it for me.” She squeezed her hand gently. “I love you, masha. And i’m glad you’re here with me.”

“How do you do it, Maria?” She asked, sitting on the edge of the rooftop garden and looking out. “Love two of them, I mean. How do you love two children as equally as you did one? I cannot fathom it…I don’t want to. I’ve wondered though.. I look at my daughter and I know there is nothing in the world that could compare to how much I love her. How do you do it?”

“How do you do it, Maria?” She asked, sitting on the edge of the rooftop garden and looking out. “Love two of them, I mean. How do you love two children as equally as you did one? I cannot fathom it...I don’t want to. I’ve wondered though.. I look at my daughter and I know there is nothing in the world that could compare to how much I love her. How do you do it?”

“ANd you know what, thats great. but I don’t feel that way. I’m not happy with myself, Maria. And it’s not what anyone else said. it’s just how I feel.” She insisted, shaking her head. “and i’ve tried so hard to get rid of it.”

“I’m happy, Maria. I love him more than literally anything else. But it still isn’t right for someone to threaten to take my daughter. At the end of the day, She is better with me than ANYONE else.” Anya turned to look in the mirror. “zip me back up. I’m ready now.” She insisted, wiping at her eyes. “he’s what I want. He’s all i’ll ever want.”

“the idea has been in my head on my own doing.” Of course it was. She was young and impressionable and let her body change significantly. Of course she didn’t see herself the way she used to. “I wouldn’t change Maria for the world, but still. Summer is just not something i’m ready for, not yet.”