Room 2046

I’m grateful for my countless sessions of therapy to have prepared me for 2020. It’s interesting seeing the most well adjusted people crumble during these times because they’ve never really had to deal with immense anxiety and uncertainties. I’m not saying I’m okay with all the turmoil going on right now, because these are sad fucking times. I’m just dealing with this way better than I expected; Taking everything day by day, doing my part with my work in the community. I deactivated my Instagram for the first time ever because there was too much noise, too much blaming, too much fake activism, too many opinions from folks who I’ve never even seen in the community doing any type of advocacy work. It was just making me angry and annoyed. It’s so important for everyone to put in the work outside of the limelight. There are countless numbers of people who work tirelessly in the community, fighting against injustices, and not visible on social media or media pages. Too much talk. Let me see you in the streets, during community events, something other than social media. 

I really want to travel again, but with COVID-19, I’m not sure how feasible that would be. I have tickets booked for Europe in August, but I’m still torn about it. I don’t even know how to navigate everything anymore. Like is it even ethical to travel right now? Even though it will support the many people who rely on tourists for their livelihood. Even if I take all the precautions when traveling such as getting tested beforehand, wearing masks, sanitizing, washing hands, self isolating when coming back, it still feels like I’m doing something inherently wrong. Honestly this is why I avoid social media, because everything I do would have been judged whether through snarky Instastories or comments of how selfish I am for doing so and so. 

This global mess just shows how much we're all truly just fucking self destructive animals at the mercy of Mother Earth. This wasn't China's fault, or the Americans; Deadly viruses have always been here and have spread like this before. We're all just looking for something to blame. Of course, it doesn't help that people are such fucking idiots who blindly vote against their own interests. People shouldn't be dying as much, but then again they should because we're all just stupid dumb dumb dumb animals driven to commit mass suicide like lemmings.

Now that I'm forced to be home, I've been able to finally produce all the videos I've been meaning to create!